I know its easier said then done, God knows I still struggle with letting go and letting God.... But think about it, there is nothing else you Can do.
How long has this dance been going on? If you keep telling him the same thing over and over and nothing has changed then it is your problem now because he either does not think he has a problem or he does not want to fix it.
One thing that you can learn that helps is .... when they are drinking just dont listen. Its called quacking ... and that is all they are doing. They say hurtful things cuz they are hurting and want to strike out.... just dont take what they say personally. You can also set some boundries ... like if your drunk Im not staying here. But when you set them you will have to stick to it.
I believe he is telling your the truth though.... it is your problem, so maybe you might want to start learning all you can about this disease, theraphy, Al-anon, Books..... even open AA meetings, then you can hear the stories from people who where where your husband is now....