pretending, cuz then he doesn't have to admit to anything.....they don't want to "deal" with it! And, mine would always pass thru it cuz I would let him. And, if we talked, I talked about it, it was my problem! And, being the good little codie I was, I'd try to keep things peaceful and smooth. I love that I said WAS! I'm trying. Please, read all the suggestions here on this site and anything you can find.