hi noahsally and welcome to SR
It's slow around here on weekends, so don't get discouraged if you don't get too many responses right away.
I reached a point where I was ready to say "enough" and then took steps to get my life on the track I wanted and needed. That meant setting boundaries and sticking to them. I have learned in taking care of myself that I am not responsible for taking care OF anyone else. I can care for them, but if they are capable (that doesn't mean they are willing, but that is not my responsibility) of taking care of themselves, I am not obligated to do so. If I choose to do so, that is my choice.
I learned a lot about detachment, boundaries and self worth in the rooms of Al-Anon. I also have individual counseling. One of the great things about face to face meetings in Al-Anon is the support I get from others who understand and do not question my desire to have my own life. If Al-Anon does not appeal to you, there are other programs out there that offer support to the families of alcholics.
Have you read Co-dependent no More?
Others will be along to offer you much wisdom and support. IMO you are not wrong to want a life away from the chaos addiction can bring. Good luck and keep coming back!