Hey meme,
The only time my husband had no sex drive was when we were getting married and several months that followed. He was abusing alcohol at the time (we didn't admit it), but the reason for the lack in desire was anxiety. He began suffering panic attacks soon after we married and apparently the pressure of all the responsibility was what triggered the lack of desire........has has worked that out.
We have had other trouble in that area, but it was my lack of desire because he not desirable due to his behavior.
Have you talked with him? I guess you have if he blames you....is this a lack of desire or ability? Now I am getting really personal....sorry. If it is ability, I would think that definately could be from abusing, but desire......I don't know?
Someone else may have insight to this.......Constant