Well, you have heard a little of my story. My AH is still actively drinking, and letting him go has been the hardest thing I have ever done I love this man with all my heart, I decided that I love my kids and myself more, I refuse to let him hurt us. I know the ache of that love ypu have for him as everyday goes by I know I have done the right thing, My husband is a beautiful person, he is just a lost soul. He has been through hell and back in his short life, he was always a wounderful father. Now I'm not so sure.I just don't think he really knows how screwed up he is/ He knows no other way but to be a addict. At least untill he gets help. I know exactly what you mean when you say "what could of been"
Look at it this way......... Thsnk of all the beauty to come. Good luck, you'll like it here( I hope)