New here, he's leaving.....
Well,I am new here, long story short? Been with alcoholic for 13 years, dated,married,divorced,back together....Good days, bad days, alanon, abuse, on ',n on. Most recent living together for 4 years, Nearly killed himself in an accident 3 years ago, on Ventilator for 6 weeks, Many injuries, at home care for months. Then, after a year of recovery back to drinking, drinking and driving, moods....etc. Anyway, a few weeks ago had blow up. Told him it's done this time.Every so often when that voice inside gets louder in my ear/soul, I attempt to end it, and stay. I can't live like this. He has consented to move out, looking for a place....I am positive this is the right thing, but it makes me sad. He has improved in recent years, but not enuf for my life to be satisfying. Worried over driving drunk again, no compassion/intimacy in years, he sits in his chair and "broods"/grumpy, verbally abusive and has been physically abusive. Gosh, it is so a roller coaster. Mourning the loss of what could have been. Sad for him, sad for me. Isn't it just awful. I feel optimistic for a "peaceful" life, but will miss the "good man", but not the bad man. Why does it seem they are 2 different people? He had been on some zoloft after the accident for depression and chronic pain, I think it took the edge off his moodiness some. He quit taking it a couple months ago and I could just see this "other" person coming back.... Anyone with same experience? Would love a reply.