Karen,
This is so not inappropriate....it's part of life and relationships. I don't know if I can be much help to you because I didn't know my bf was high or that he had an addiction.
I DO know that (looking back) there were many times when we clashed on the sex issue. He seemed to want to always (even when we were in the middle of an argument that hadn't been resolved) and made me feel that I was responsible for taking care of his "needs" I gave in so many times (lay back and think of england, so they say) and felt worse for it.
He is now sober, but as part of my recovery, I have set a boundary that I will not be intimate with him until I see some positive actions on his part.
I no longer feel I'm responsible for his sexual needs. I used to think that if I didn't give in to him and fulfill his needs that he would seek elsewhere. That was just my codie thinking.......because if that's what did happen then he didn't deserve to be with me anyway.
I'm not saying you should become abstinent...........I'm saying take care of yourself and worry about YOUR needs. If you don't feel like it or it makes you feel like taking a shower, RESPECT yourself. If he's sober and loving and you need/want that then make your decision at the time. You are a GOOD, LOVING person and being intimate with someone should make you feel that way!
Take care and everything else will follow.