I have a friend who works as a social worker with children with Autism and Asperger's syndrome, among other DD conditions, and also with their families to try to find functional solutions for extremely troublsome cases. My friend cares, deeply, for these kids and their families. But working in part with government programs he's limited how much their organization can provide. Extremely frustrating for him, when what's clearly needed is unavailable due to bureaucratic nonsense and other gross disruptions/ failing in the system. The burn-out rate for people employed in social work is high, largely because people don't have the emotional stability necessary to manage. It's emotionally exhausting. My friend daily struggles with achieving balance. He's about the most well-balanced person I've ever met and he's challenged, sometimes to the point of upset, much like what you're expressing Equus.
It's remarkable there are people who can handle such work at all. So much compassion and patience required. Self-awareness. Balance. One can care and not let it affect their emotional well-being, but it's a skill that I think few master. I'm impressed by all who do such work. I know I couldn't do it.