Hi Lifeoutthere
I'm sure some others will be along that can share their experience with children growing up in an alcoholic home - either their children or they themselves going through it.
I just want to send you some hugs and say I understand how difficult it is. One day at a time does get easier, but it's not easy. I guess I can only say look to your children right now.
I can't advise you on how to handle your situation. I follow a 12-step approach and that means hands off guiding someone else's recovery. It's hard to learn what is enabling v. what is helpful. Bottom line for me is the person with the addiction has to first want to get well before I can be of any help. I have learned I cannot make someone else want anything.
Take care and post as often as you need to. You are not alone in this.