Welcome to SR, glad to have you join us.
I walked away from my alcoholic parents many years ago. Contact with them was very harmful to my sanity, and placed my family in physical harm. I felt the "ACoA guilt" too. I have worked the program quite a bit, and had my share of shrinks. All of that has done me a great deal of good. The "guiltys" was just another small piece of the "puzzle" of my recovery. I worked on those guitly feelings just like any other emotional "baggage", and it didn't take long to put it to rest.
I know today that I did the best I could for my parents. What they needed was to find their own recovery, and that is not something that any other human could have given them, not even their own son. I had my own family to honor and protect, and being a "co-dependent" to my parents would _not_ honor and protect my wife and daughter.
My father passed away not too long ago, and I was able to finally do for him what he would never let me do while he was alive. I was able to be of service and help his second wife deal with the grief of his loss, and the nightmare of all the paperwork involved in his estate.
It sounds to me like you are handling your own issues just fine. You are sharing with other peopel on the program who have been where you are (us folk here on Sober Recovery). You are establishing boundaries to protect yourself from further harm (such as your plan for answering the phone). You are searching for answers and willing to listen. I think you're going to be fine.
As far as suggestions, what has helped me a lot is to do a "mini fourth step" on just my relationship with my parents. My expectations, my fears, my need to have their approval.
Feel free to ramble all you want, that's what we are here for.
Welcome again.
Mike
