Lolobug,
I have walked in your shoes and I feel for you. My husband cheated on me 15 years ago and it's still as hurtful today as it was then. I think the reason I'm still so hurt by his actions is that I committed to this man 100%, stood by his side no matter how bad things got and he gave his love to someone other than me. His choice was a barfly with a heroin addiction. That didn't do much for my self esteem. I felt that if this type of man couldn't love me, who would? That's a truly painful experience. I don't obsess about it, I certainly don't think about it every day but whenever I question our relationship and my A's ability to love me, I always go there. My advice to you would be to seek counseling. You may never forget what he did to you, but you might learn to forgive him.