(((Lolobug))). Thanks for sharing. Yes, I can uncerstand those whirling, obsessive thoughts. Maybe you can just go with them - feel them - let them swirl and swirl until you are completely exhausted - BUT - keep saying the Serenity Prayer or something that means something to you over and over and over. Write it down hundreds of times, over and over. You will finally start feeling weary of doing it all and move toward something that feels better for you.
There are some great suggestions up at the top of our "threads" here. I heard a guy say to imagine the absolute vERY WORST scenario. Looks like he wants to be with you, not her! Looks like he is getting something from the relationship. The main point again, is this GOOD for you? Can you imagine being without him? Can you imagine meeting someone who you can trust?
Are you finding ways to love yourself? What do you say to yourself each day that makes you feel good about yourself?
Try saying, "I'm special, wonderful and good". "I'm beautiful". I'm a great mother and a good friend. I am a good wife. Keep thinking of all the great things about YOU! You are special! Keep coming back, it works! (((HUGS, again))). BTW, some people put a rubber band on their wrist and "pop" it when the obsessive thoughts come up.