listen & trust yourself!
The reason we get upset with them paying attention to other women is because we are not happy with how much attention we're getting.
You say "he's trying". Well, sounds like he's really not giving you what you want and need. He may be trying, but not succeeding. You need to be clear, and honest about what is lacking in the relationship. Hopefully, he will respond to your request, and not get defensive and make you feel guilty for asking.
It's kind of like being in a restaurant. We never obsess about what the person next to us is eating, just enjoy our own meals. Unless, of course, you sit for 4 hours waiting to be served. In that case, most of us start watching what others are ordering and eating.
You obsess about her because the alcoholic is not meeting your needs.