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Alcohol took away my well settled life... My girlfriend whom I loved and my stability. I stumble home every evening. The neighbors complain on me... So sometimes I just don't come home until early morning ! |
Alcohol has taken SO much away from me, writing it down I feel INSANE to have gone back to drinking. As I posted in my intro post, I've recently relapsed and have been isolating at night drinking wine 4/5 nights per week, sometimes to blackout. I rationalize that it's because my mom recently died, or because I'm lonely with my kids at school, or because a 3 year relationship ended. I could go on and on but the point is NOTHING is ever made better under the influence. Thankfully I'm here now trying to get control over this pattern and haven't hurt anyone but myself YET. In the past I've hurt plenty. In 2012 I got 2 DUI's and lost my license for 4 months and then had an interlock for 3 years. Humiliating for my children and I am SO lucky I didn't go to jail. Because this was during a divorce, my exH (rightly so) petitioned the court for custody and was granted 6 months of full custody and I had visitation after being a stay at home mom for years. Horrible. I got so drunk at airports I wasn't allowed on flights. Missed a family event. I've fallen down stairs, blacked out and said cruel things...I could go on and on and I know if I don't stop now ALL of these things or more will happen again. It doesn't get better. How is it that we can forget these horrible moments when we yearn for the very temporary relaxation alcohol brings? |
Confidence It took away my confidence and makes me feel worthless and it got worse over the years because of the guilt I felt from binging. Kind of did the exact opposite of what I thought it was doing. I have vowed that drinking is over for me. I accept myself for who I am and accept my past. |
Originally Posted by Sober13
(Post 7255360)
Alcohol has taken SO much away from me, writing it down I feel INSANE to have gone back to drinking. As I posted in my intro post, I've recently relapsed and have been isolating at night drinking wine 4/5 nights per week, sometimes to blackout. I rationalize that it's because my mom recently died, or because I'm lonely with my kids at school, or because a 3 year relationship ended. I could go on and on but the point is NOTHING is ever made better under the influence. Thankfully I'm here now trying to get control over this pattern and haven't hurt anyone but myself YET. In the past I've hurt plenty. In 2012 I got 2 DUI's and lost my license for 4 months and then had an interlock for 3 years. Humiliating for my children and I am SO lucky I didn't go to jail. Because this was during a divorce, my exH (rightly so) petitioned the court for custody and was granted 6 months of full custody and I had visitation after being a stay at home mom for years. Horrible. I got so drunk at airports I wasn't allowed on flights. Missed a family event. I've fallen down stairs, blacked out and said cruel things...I could go on and on and I know if I don't stop now ALL of these things or more will happen again. It doesn't get better. How is it that we can forget these horrible moments when we yearn for the very temporary relaxation alcohol brings? Girl, it CAN and WILL only get better. You are 100% right - NOTHING good ever comes from alcohol and it never ever will. Everyday is a new day!! A chance to start over.... No matter how many times youve said youd stopped doesnt matter, aslong as you try again until you succeed!! |
It took away someone who I feel was the love of my life. It has robbed him of having the amazing life he could have had; the wife and kids he had always dreamt of (with or without me). I fear he still has a few more years of self destruction sadly. |
[QUOTE=rharman;7337799]
Originally Posted by Bullwinkle1944
(Post 6907483)
________________________________________ bringmeback7693 writes >>>For me, alcohol took away my sense of self. Before alcohol I had passions and interests that I could have explored more, but alcohol made me forget about all of them. I loved writing and art and theatre, but was always too hungover in college to pursue any of these activities. I stopped caring about them. Pretty soon my only hobby was drinking. Alcohol also made my anxiety, depression, and social anxiety infinitely worse. It destroyed my confidence and self-worth. What did alcohol take from you? How can you get it back?<<< Alcoholic drinking, the drug alcohol temporally relieved my depression, depression I didn’t know I was suffering. If the effect from alcohol weren’t temporary, I wouldn’t have become addicted. Before my first drink, I blocked my depression and feelings involved with my depression via hyper- activities, mostly sports. Since hyper-activities was a frame of reference, it’s easy in retrospect to see why alcohol went beyond what hyper-activities, in what it did for me. Depending on my mood and circumstances, I had good and bad times, but the good times became increasingly fewer, this is due to tolerance. One aspect of my problems at this point was I was attempting to recapture my original almost euphoric experiences at the beginning of my drinking. Eventually alcohol stopped working for me and that’s when I began to question whether I was an alcoholic. Alcoholic drinking contributed to my divorce. On the other hand, Alcoholic drinking opened my eyes in realizing I had married a stranger, because I didn’t know who I was, so my choices in relationships were immature. I view alcoholism as the cure for that of which it purports to be the disease. The symptom alcoholism, has a purpose, and that’s recovery from my emotional and mental problems. Also for me, alcoholism is a delivery system into spiritual reality, which is the only |
It helped... [QUOTE=rharman;7337800]
Originally Posted by rharman
(Post 7337799)
When you stopped drinking , did it help your depression ? I stopped drinking three years ago and it has put me in a three year treatment resistant depression . Staying sober helped, in that my depression was no longer the intrusive, controlling thing it had become, and I had a number of years of happy, hardworking, productive life. My career progressed at a satisfactory rate, I enjoyed some success in my chosen creative field, my friendships were solid and supportive, and I learned (often through hard lessons) how to be a committed partner in a romance which has endured for 23 years and counting. However, while it is certainly better than self-destruction, sobriety is not a cure-all. My recent years have been marred by chronic pain due to catastrophic injuries suffered in an on-the-job accident, and chronic pain is virtually guaranteed to cause or exacerbate depression. I’ve had to seek treatment - something I did only sparingly (and under duress) prior to my accident - and with limited success. Still, my current difficulties do not erase the happy years that precede them, and I firmly believe my sobriety is helping me cope with my disability, pain and, yes, even my depression. If a suggestion is what you desire, I would suggest you stick with sobriety, and see if it can help you the way it helped me. The change may be subtle and slow in coming, but (in my experience) there will be change for the better! I wish you well. Bill J. from Austin |
Alcohol has taken everything. In truth alcohol has taken from me everything that I hold dear. 2 very special women, guardianship of my own daughter, a previous home, trust, responsibility and sanity. I abused the trust of several people and left it in tatters through booze. Some of the trust and love I lost I can't get back, it's too late and that's been made clear to me, there's no way back. That's what hurts as much as staying sober :headbange |
My youth |
my drive |
It has taken the person I might have been. I'll never know who that was now. She's still there somewhere in the darkness because I can hear her sometimes. Nevertheless, I'm going to try to be the best person I can be with what I still have - and I there may be good surprises along the way. If I drink, then the end will be slow and painful and that won't be a surprise at all (really don't want to work to get that!). |
Alcohol has taken everything that I need to be successful. It has taken my drive. It has taken my empathy and my ability to feel. It has left me as a shell of the person that I could be and want to be. |
It took my... dignity morals compassion trust of myself trust from my family You take a drink, the drink takes a drink then the drink takes you. day 16 feeling strong 👊 |
It's taken my whole adult life. |
It took mine too overforty - but I got it back - you can too :) D |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 7477904)
It took mine too overforty - but I got it back - you can too :) D I'm having a day 2 again. I bore myself :headbange |
I had many day two's but my last day two was over 10 and a half years ago. :) It can be done. :hug: |
Alcohol took away my will to compete, any kind of drive to do the work necessary to accomplish anything. It all so took away about $75,000 or so that I could sure right now.:egypt: |
I agree, neferkmichael. I settled for mediocrity. Actually less than mediocrity. In retrospect that’s my biggest regret. |
Drinking took all the joy out of my life and left Depression and Doubt in its place. :( So glad the joy is back and the depression and doubt are mostly gone. |
Years of my life Morals Loads of hard earned money Friends My spouse But I found me again!! I am grateful to God for helping me through the storm. 4 years, 3 months sober |
I'm still trying to figure out what kind and to which degree alcohol has caused damage in my life. It has only been recently until I acknowledged to myself that alcohol is the central problem in my life and that I'm an addict. I know that alcohol has ruined my sexuality. It ruined my career. It ruined most of my 20s. It strongly accelerated all of my depressive and suicidal thoughts that I'm having since youth. It fuels another addiction (non-substance addiction) of mine. Without quitting alcohol, I'm unable to quit my non-substance addictions, they are all connected and alcohol is the ultimate root cause. I'm still healthy, so I wouldn't say it ruined my health, but it certainly will in a couple years. There is only so much a body can take after years of alcohol-induced insomnia and high blood pressure. You treat your body like that and it -will- repay it sooner or later. Other people on this forum told me I'm still young (30). That gave me a little optimism that I didn't expect. I hope I can change course right freakin now. I don't wanna die before 40 and I know for sure it would happen if I don't take measures now. |
Alcohol took the joy out of my life and replaced it with misery. Glad that misery is gone now. |
Alcohol took EVERYTHING! |
It took my wife my stepchildren my dog my house everything I knew was the future (I wasn't the drinker) |
Alcohol took away a full decade of my life. I've had friends and family members distance themselves from me. I've lost job opportunities. Poor financal and poor life decisions. I've made so many wrong moves due to alcohol, that in turn has made me focus in my sobriety. I am committed to protecting my clean date. |
Originally Posted by bringmeback7693
(Post 6907026)
For me, alcohol took away my sense of self. Before alcohol I had passions and interests that I could have explored more, but alcohol made me forget about all of them. I loved writing and art and theatre, but was always too hungover in college to pursue any of these activities. I stopped caring about them. Pretty soon my only hobby was drinking. Alcohol also made my anxiety, depression, and social anxiety infinitely worse. It destroyed my confidence and self-worth. What did alcohol take from you? How can you get it back? Although I successfully overcame drinking I am basically a failure in every other way. Three failed marriages; I live in an apartment (at age 60); I manage a welding supply store at a nominal income level; I drive a 2003 truck because I can't afford anything else; and I'll never be able to truly "retire." So my life is a mixture of gratitude on the one hand and disappointment on the other. |
Originally Posted by coming_clean
(Post 6908140)
Alcohol have been a gateway drug that lead to drugs. Drugs blurred the connection with myself, the universe. It isolated me. It depressed me. It made me scared ********. I got Some sense of normaliter back by practising buddhism and going to meetings. Acid was the most frightening of all of the drugs I used. It magnified my fears and produced some of the most satanic hallucinations one can imagine. Crystal Meth was probably the second worst since it caused so much paranoia. I'd wake up from a night of booze in the most bizarre places and have no idea how I got there. The entire booze/drug scene is a living nightmare. Was for me!! |
Hi, I really don't think alcohol is the culprit. Alcohol is an inanimate liquid. How it affects us when we drink it is the issue. That we continue drinking it after living through the negative consequences of it's affects on us is the issue. I didn't lose anything to alcohol. I gave things up in favor of it. |
what it took from me... ...is very much exactly what it took from you. I'm 8 days sober and i'm hopeful that i will EVER find myself. My mom died suddenly when i was 19, and i was already a big drinker. Her death ruined me. I drank instead of grieved. I still don't think i've properly processed her death, 31 years later. I never went to junior or regular college, and so I never gained insights to what is out there in world of education that might guide me toward interests and passions. I have no hobbies to speak of. Drinking has always ALWAYS been my #1 hobby. I gravitate toward people who party. I need the drinking buddies. I look for those who might even be into recreational drugs. thankfully I don't have my own connections for that sh*t, but if it's there, hey - sure! why not! But alcohol has taken away my ability to know how to live outside of the bottle. I have always had good jobs, paid my bills, paid my rent, moved up in the companies where I've worked. I'm bright, but kind of a dunce. No real ability to carry on conversations because my ability to retain information is stunted. Pretty sure that's because I started drinking at 13. I can't even tell a joke, much less reiterate a story I heard earlier in the day. Alcohol has taken a lot from me. It's taken my life in so many ways. I can tell that after 8 days, my memory is already improving. I am not getting drunk and hanging w/ my family, only to forget entire conversations from the night before. "Mom, you already told me that..." Can't tell you HOW many times I've had to endure hearing that from my 13 y/o. How humiliating. I'm tired of being a forgetful mom, and I'm tired of not having a life I can truly live in. 8 days ago, I didn't have a plan. It was more or less to see if I could get through 7 days of not drinking. What alcohol took from me, I plan to get back, in some form or another. thanks for posting this. it's given me so much to think about. <3 |
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