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I am so thrilled about finding this website, and trust me, it was on accident while searching for other things! I have been sober for over 6 years and just turned 26, so for that I find hope and thank God for his mercy.
My sister died suddenly back in February of last year and ever since then I have picked up some behaviors that terrify me. I also started seeing a therapist in addition to sponsoring and being sponsored only to find out what I already knew, I'm an adult child of alcohol. Like letting go of the drink wasn't hard enough, I'm back to attempting whole hearted the steps of alanon. Feelings are not something I enjoy very much, and especially talking about myself and my childhood living. I was also just diagnosed with ocd. And of course, "I should be so much better than this at 6 years sober". All of this happened at the death of my sister. I've also felt drawn back from God but am maintaining the maintenance of it so to speak. Anyone have any experience?

At 9yrs sober I had a 30yr marriage end, both parents passed and my dog died all within 6 mos.. I was living a bad country song. My first reaction not to drink but put an end to it all, now that was Stinkin Thinkin.
God, Alanon, therapy, and the support group I had established in AA saved my life. I had to go thru the pain and use the 12 steps to recover just like I did when I got sober.
You are on the right track don't give up before the miracle it will happen!

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
I met with my dearest friend tonight and out loud I said, "I just went through 6 years of learning how to not drink and meet God, now I'm relearning how to think and live all over again". I could definitely relate to the drink no longer being an option but dying is. After a period of time I learned that drinking and sexing out don't work, yet I find something else. Everything is currently pointing to God to get me out, but man isn't is hella dark in the hallway I'm in. I just miss the happy joyous and free. Good reminder to look back at my first year in aa. Now I'm just peeling back another layer in alanon. Why is the pain so much worse? I can feel all this garbage ready to spill out and I just can't quite do it.