meaning that you don't go every day? Or that you're not getting better fast enough?

In early recovery I got some numbers from people who obviously had their act together and learned to call them. I still have a small group of guys I call when I'm sideways and emotionally off.

I think my biggest problem is I'm finding myself saying "I can't do this sober" -- about everything..big and small..any suggestions?

Not getting better fast enough.. I'm trying to not be impatient..I promise I am.

At the worst of my withdrawal I would write down anything going on in my mind and body and finished with an affirmation. It helped to see where I was and where I am heading. Hang in there even if it takes minute by minute...day by day.

Get out of your head. Fill your day with anything possible. Track every hour and every hour done one thing for recovery. You are the ONLY ONE that can change. NOBODY can do it for you. We can say all the things in the world but its going to come down to you surrendering, and stopping the madness. Its not easy, was becoming an addict easy???? I also wanted to get better overnight. We always want that. Sit in meetings all day, as much as possible.

At almost 3 months off pain meds I can finally say I feel liveable. It takes time. You don't have to do this again if you don't pick up. I call people and just talk. Share, cry.

Relax. Stop making this worse by wanting it over. Feel it. This is part of it. Getting clean is going to make you stronger than anything. Trust me.

Watch the series mom. Watch each episode. its amazing and will make yo laugh.

Make a gratitude list. Read.

This has been done a million times and also not done a million times. You are doing great. You have a choice today. You are wanting a new life.

Hang in there. :You_Rock_

Developing patience. That's a biggy.

How to do that? It may sound old, but for me-when I feel low on patience, whether it's patience with myself or patience with others I try to keep the goal in mind and tell myself that it's okay to take baby steps toward that goal and that may just be to not use for today, moment by moment. Part of becoming an addict does have to do with wanting instant gratification and being impatient with other "methods" that would give us gratification. Other methods meaning they might seem a bit harder and take longer, but DO bring satisfaction and gratification.

The word "gratification" is to me similar to the word "grateful". I watched my father (alcoholic and addicted to smoking) go through life and he stopped drinking eventually and I watched him become a more grateful person over the years, even though he still never completely healed from childhood trauma. Patience never did come easy to him and he struggled for so many years working himself to the bone at two very tough job (logging and farming) to hang on to something that was highly valuable-a beautiful piece of property he inherited and wanted to keep in the family. I never really a truly appreciated just how HARD he worked. But, he had his moments of "gratitude" and I hope I learned something from that. Sometimes it boils down to just being thankful that you are alive and breathing for one and that you have food/clothing/shelter.

My grandma also used to say a lot "It could be worse". And maybe that was her way of navigating through life. This has gotten to be kind of long and rambling, but I hope it helps.

Definitely inside my head..even though I've been keeping myself really busy. It's such a negative mindset I'm finding myself in. I want to be clean so badly. The detox is going as well as could be I guess. I never thought I'd really say that.

Like I said, seeing people sober and excelling and extremely happy is such a motivating factor. Knowing it's possible is what's pushing me forward.

Of course, that is only a small part. You all are tremendous helps.

I sincerely love and thank you all.

- Jimmy

Day 10
 

Day 10 and surprised by paws last night...maked me step back and realise its still so early. Still resolved to keep going but need to be careful. Does anyone have a rough idea how long paws lasts?

very, very well-said, IvanMike!

Still rough going. The craving to use has never been stronger. Never. These are the worst cravings and urges I've ever had to use.

For cravings & urges

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

For Paws

https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

I've been doing hobbies and listening to music that I used to o ly do or listen to when using..hopifng to break the association and habit of wanting to use while doing these healthy and fun habits.

Smart or not so smart idea?

I want to get back to a normal lifestyle without having the urge to use.. I know that will take time.

Detox is going fairly well I suppose.. Over 72 hours in..

Almost 96 hours into detox and I've hit a wall.

Jimmy- what do you mean by "i've hit a wall"? please explain! Don't give up that 96 hours!!

I just needed to eat. :)

I'm finding myself teetertottering between wanting to use and experiencing sobriety and being surprised and loving it.

Of course I'll choose sobriety. My heart and mind are finally in the same place. I'm tired of being an addict..I'm tired of doing things and wishing I could sober.

Jimmy- I'm so very glad to hear it was something as simple as that! & that your head & heart are in the right place! :c011:

I wish I could just eat healthy and be happy and well like I was earlier.. No luck.

Everything is upsetting me.. I want to use just so I don't feel so overwhelmed with life and frustrated. I'm beginning to feel like I can't handle life again sober.

-J

You can make it Jim... Don't give up!

I appreciate the positivity.. But today, day 5, is feeling more like a bad day 3. In the past day 3 is often the worst day. Why today is like that, I don't know, it's tough. Disheartening..

Day 5 is supposed to suck.

Stay clean and you never have to do this again.