Ill take "gettin high" for 200 Alex.....

so this is just something that happens to me so it may or may not have validity but when im using i have a tendency to get really annoyed really easily..snapping back. and ive seen it in others even worse. also i know that you said pills are not his drug but i started using pills for pain and went right back into H...eventually there is no pain...just a reason i give to friends to take them without getting hassled.

Oxy is VERY Addictive, even for people who have no prior addictive patterns. People get addicted to Oxy all the time from just having them after surgery.

No one with a history of addiction should be taking OXY.

Big clue that this is already a problem. You don't take OXY for a sore back. He didn't get these from a RX. He said he had one, but you found several more.
Please take this serious!

I like the people who question his idea of clean but smoke cigarettes:) That's not very clean either:)

Now thats funny. But.... I never robbed a liquor store to get money for smokes. Just sayin...

as someone very new and clean all I can tell you is that if your bf was previously using coke and meth he will quickly crush up those oxy's and put that crap up his nose. He won't be able to help himself.

they are so addictive it isn't funny. It's a train to h@ll. 100% Don't go with him.

hang tight and focus on YOUR recovery. Put yourself FIRST.

(I know, i need to take my own advice and I"m trying)

Peace and blessings to you.

I was about to say the same thing. You can also throw in caffeine. Hell, you can throw in prescription meds, too. People come here all the time and say "The doctor prescribed me X medication for my pain, if I use it does that mean I'm not sober?". The response is typically if not always an overwhelming "Yes". Um, what?

Like it or not, clean IS defined however we like. Otherwise, we'd tell everyone who used pain meds, or smoked, or drank coffee, or accidentally drank wine in church to turn back their proverbial sobriety clock. It just so happens that the majority of folks deem an individual "clean" despite using and/or abusing the substances that are designated as *OK* by the recovery society.

I don't think self-medicating with oxycodone or marijuana gives someone the best chance at living a long, happy, healthy life. I also don't think smoking a pack of cigarettes or eating cheeseburgers every day does. If I smoked a joint today over coffee with a friend, I would feel more comfortable with my long-term happiness and health than if I were addicted to cigarettes (and many folks are quite open and comfortable with that addiction. I have seen some people in recovery RECOMMEND people pick up smoking to deal with anxiety -- but that's OK, because cigarettes don't break the rules!).

It's more important to look at the big picture, in my opinion. I'm not advocating drug use, as this *is* a sober-only recovery site (whatever that means!), but the hypocrisy and, in reality, vagueness of sobriety is just ridiculous sometimes, particularly concerning cigarettes and it's long-term health effects.

I'm sure we all wish elainakay well....she has not returned to sR for 4 months.

Our SR mission is to provide peer support for others interested in their
personal recovery issues.

Please do remember to post from that point of view....:tyou

Oops I mis-typed a sentence in my first paragraph. I meant to say, "The response is typically if not always an overwhelming "No"."

I really don't want to comment on the other part of your post because I have no idea what crack or meth is like... and I know so many people that smoke weed and live productive lives and don't "count their seeds" like I used to count my pills, etc. I don't feel I am qualified to comment on that either, but... I can on the following:

Concerning his "defensiveness". I am the type of person that will get really riled if I'm accused of something I didn't do. I've never bought in to that hoopla that if someone gets defensive, that automatically means they are guilty of what they are being accused. My ex was paranoid and accused me of everything from cheating to this/that and I would get royally angry when he did when I had never even considered cheating on him, he was my world. (And if I was in pain, my attitude was that much worse).

Does he have health insurance where he could see a Doctor without paying an arm/leg for an ER visit? I only ask because possibly that is why he's self medicating. I know with the back, a visual exam by a family Doctor won't yeild much unless there is a knife sticking out of his back, they need tests to help find the problems, but even then--you aren't guaranteed results. One time when I didn't have insurance I paid the ER a visit and with the bloodwork, X-rays, C-scan, I was billed nearly $17,000. (Luckily because I was considered poverty level, I qualified for a program that assisted my ER and hospitalization bills).

Instead of confronting him, why don't you keep a journal (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY) and make note of his sleeping/eating habits, is he struggling when he lifts things? Is he also taking OTC for relief? Does he "go off" on you about anything else?

I'm not telling you to outright spy (well, I guess I am SORT OF, but it's more for your peace of mind) It might make you feel better if your journaling all leads to him being in pain for a real back problem (which you can offer massages, etc), therefor cranky so you don't take it personally and aren't so worried about his sobriety. If it points in the other direction, all you can do is make it very clear that he's a big boy and will do what he pleases but you are there for him should he ever need you... (and take it from there, if it turns in to a problem you obviously can't (shouldn't) enable him).

You posed a complicated situation, sorry my answer is so long and confusing. There are so many ways to look at it.

CLEAN IS CLEAN

THANK YOU MELISSA

:headbang:

You're welcome

Clean is how you define it. Yeah, pot and oxy is stretching it, lol, but to each their own and who are we to judge. I had an addicition to oxys, I quit and will never go back. Therfore I am clean of addicton. If I have a beer or a few on the weekends, it doesn't make me an addict again. LOL. That's absurd and frankly stupid to say that. I mean, I don't smok cigs, or pot or do any rec drugs. I have a few beers, which I did for years before my opiate problem. I enjoy it, I am out with my friends, parents, brother, etc. I'm 100% CLEAN OF MY ADDICTTION....BOTTOM LINE.

Gotta agree with the juiceman on this one. Addiction means different things to different people. I drank about as much alcohol in college as any other student. 35 years old now and I doubt I drink more than, maybe, once every 3-4 weeks while I'm at dinner with friends or some other event. I've never in my life had a craving for the stuff and hate feeling hungover the next day, so I never drink to that much excess.

Oxys on the other hand? Watch out. I crave them, I want them, if I see one in front of me... it's probably going down the hatch. Addiction is a very real term *to me* and it is defined in the form of a single type of drug, no other drug has this kind of power over me. No other drug takes away my ability to regulate the use of it. That, to me, defines physical addiction (notice, I said "physical" addiction)... when I can no longer "say no" to something, I'm addicted.

The "mental addiction" class is something that is really hard to define because it varies so much from one person to the next. I know I'm both physically and mentally addicted to opiates. Period. I'm certainly not physically addicted to anything else, and I don't abuse anything else so that it causes me or others personal harm or any other negative affect towards my life, so I don't believe I am even "mentally" addicted to anything else. Yet, I know people who have addictive personalities towards just about any/all substances. Given the chance, they'll abuse just about anything, so it seems to be a more "general" mental and/or physical addiction state... something I can't relate to. My addiction is incredibly focused to one type of drug and yes, 13-15 years ago I experimented with all sorts of things. NOTHING latched on like opiates, not even close. If I were to do a line of coke this second, I could do it and walk away. I did quite a bit of it in college because it kept me partying late, but when I graduated college, I never touched the stuff again... never craved it, never withdrew from it, I just stopped without a second thought. If I were to do a line of Oxy right now, I would be here the rest of the night until I couldn't do any more.

I think, in the end, it's simply impossible to paint everybody with the same brush stroke. We're such complex beings, we all have our own types of addictions, some broader sweeping than others.

Hmm a sore back? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that is NOT what they are being used for. I have chronic pain and have extensive experience with oxy's, fentanyl, etc etc etc and it sure turned me into a pill addict. It's a very, very slippery, dangerous road he could be heading down. Esp. with his defensive manner. They ruin lives. I hope he can get himself out of this mess before it turns into a train wreck :(

Best of luck to you

Jess

Sonic - I am just like you. No problem ever for me with alcohol; I could take it or leave it. I did leave it years ago though b/c of my spouse's problems with it. Opiates, however, sucked me in big time. The first one I took about 30 yrs ago gave me a feeling I never had before. Did not become an addict at first, but really liked the feeling. However, have been on the addict roller coaster for about 20 yrs. Clean for almost 7 months now. About the longest time I have ever gone and I think I am finally on the right road at almost 58 yrs old.
We appear to all be wired differently. Let's face it. There are many people who take or leave opiates. Some people cannot stand the affects that we all crave.
Keep up the good fight and keep posting.

It's a very, very good thing that I didn't discover opiates in college, I would be nowhere near the success I am today.