Third Step rituals?
 

In moving from the Third to the Fourth steps, my sponsor has suggested that I recite the Third Step prayer in his presence, along with performing some minor "ritual" while doing so. This is what his sponsor did with him– I believe his ritual simply involved holding a sobriety coin in one hand and something else of import in the other while saying the prayer.

While the thought of a ritual initially seemed odd, I've come to be quite interested in it. He's asked me to think of something for myself for our next meeting.

While I have a few ideas, I'm curious if anyone else has any personal rituals that you'd be willing to share. Thanks!

I never did a ritual per se, just the prayer. I am sure that other people have done something to augment it, or had their own personal little touches to it. Be interesting to see what others come up with or share.

What ideas do you have?

Ive done them sitting, standing, kneeling, holding hands, folding hands, in my kitchen, in a church, outside, with large groups, with small groups, alone or with another. (sounds like a doctor seuss book!)

Every experience has been unique. Some more powerful than others but all life changing for someone involved.

I did what my sponsor told me to do. Then I went home and read the Third Step prayer to the 200+ year old Oak in my back yard--just to make sure it stuck.
I have since had the experience similar to bbthumper: "Green Eggs and Ham," style. the one constant has been the Big Book in hand...

I was alone. It was meaningful and I will never forget it.

Thanks for the input, everyone. My sponsor recently brought up the idea of keeping a "god box"— just a simple receptacle of any sort that you can use to put slips of paper into. On the slips of paper would be written things that one needs to "turn over." It's a very literal process to help aid the spiritual process. I thought it would be an interesting practice to try out.

As for my "ritual", I was thinking I'd bring along my god box, and after saying the prayer, I would write "My will and my life" on a slip of paper and place it in the box.

I don't mind rituals.
So be it....
when I drank, I had "rituals" anyway, so what's different ?

Rituals with no alcohol on the side of sobriety.

we don't give our will and life to our higher power....we are under the care of a power greater than us....there is a difference.

we always have free will

It says "Made", therefore it's past tense. I'ts saying someone has been there before, if we want we can choose to follow, the reward is recovery from alcohol.

Whats my will ?
It's my thinking.
What does MY thinking say?
"Have a drink, it will be OK this time, you have "recovered", don't you think"?.
So the ritual will be to pour a drink.

But if I turn my thinking to a HP of my own understanding, my thinking changes.

When my thinking changes, my will changes. The choice will then be, act on the new thought which is faith.
Whats my action ?
A ritual, but it's safe! I pray, then meditate which is listening.
What do I listen for ?
A intuitive thought.

Do I do this 100% 24/7 of the time ?
No, I try though.

It's still a ritual, but a sober ritual.

I don't see anything wrong with a ritual. I do not do them. The reason is because book doesn't ask me to do a ritual nor does it report that the coauthors did a ritual in the program portion of the book. If I decide to add something to the directions that isn't there, I should probably ask myself why it's necessary. To make it more meaningful? The action I take with the rest of the steps will give it meaning. To make it more effective? The book states that an honest and humble third step prayer will often produce a great effect. That effect will not be permanent unless I do the work.

I don't need to add anything, but have no issue with someone wanting to do so.

The way my first sponsor did step three with me was in the form of a road trip. He said he and I'd go to a place which holds something sacred for me, preferably a place from my childhood - that reminds me of happier times before the world and the disease stuck it's claws into me.

So we had a road trip. Drove to the old town I lived in as a kid, and to the park my Mum used to walk me round every sunday morning. Once we were there, he left me alone for five minutes and that's where I said my step three prayer.

This is how I do it with my sponsees. Doing it next Monday with one of my guys as it goes.

Don't know about doing a ritual. Following the directions
in the BB by doing all three parts of Step 3 is the recipe
for its successful completion....

After all, if you are baking a cake and omit half of the
ingredients in the recipe you end up with a pile of goo.
Do you want your recovery to turn into a pile of goo ?

when I did my 3rd step prayer with my sponser we knelt down on our knees In a praying position and said the prayer,,,,,pretty cool I think

And pretty simple, too.....

:c011:

Rituals are too religious for me. I grew up Catholic, I've had enough religious rituals to last a lifetime. I will not be doing any kneeling or any other overtly religious act (of course, if this type of praying is part of one's faith or creed it's perfectly fine--for that person).

I will never allow a sponsor to dictate how I do the Steps, my directions come from the BB and 12&12. I wrote my own 3rd Step prayer based on the BB prayer (perfectly fine according to the BB). I say it alone (again, perfectly fine according to the BB), each morning and each evening. That's all that's needed--for me.

I find these invented additions to Step work troubling. And I hear "I do it because my sponsor did it" even more troubling. Just because a sponsor did something doesn't mean it's right or appropriate.

The directions are in the BB and 12&12. Yes there is a little wiggle room, so if someone wants to add something that is their business. However, a sponsor demanding a sponsee to do something that isn't in the BB is inappropriate. Even suggesting a sponsee do something that is not in the BB is troublesome IMO.

The process/program should be kept pure and simple IMO.

Dr. Bob used to take his "pigeons" (the term used before sponcee was coined)) up to his daughters bedroom and have them pray on their knees at the foot of the bed. I did something similar with one of my sponsors. Can't say as it helped but at least it didn't hurt. Dr. Bob worked with 5000+ alki's with a success rate claimed to be 75% If the proof is in the pudding? That's a lot of pudding. I never argue with results.

I do know from first hand experience, that nearly all the people I see relapse have authority issues. IMO there is no such thing as a completely bad sponsor or totally bad directions - just recalcitrant sponcee's and or silly directions that do in fact promote extra willingness. Those who feel a need to judge their sponsor/directions seldom get good recovery.

"All expectations are seeds for resentment".
(Chuang Tzu)

One summer, I had a number of sponsees in the early stages of step work. When the first was ready to do her third step, I suggested my little orchard. As I can't kneel, we sat together in the shade of a pear tree. Beautiful day, slight breeze washing over us, our ears full of bird song. We held hands and recited the prayer as carpenter ants bit the living hell out of both our behinds.

She drank soon after, and I quit making suggestions. I asked when, where, how, and with whom -- if they've thought well, they don't need my bright ideas.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

P.S. No, I don't think getting bit in the ass by a bunch of ants drove her to drink. ;)

Good for you!!

I was waaaaay opposed to anything I didn't come up with on my own. Good for you on the "trying" part. Just give it a try. You may like it, you may not. At least you'll KNOW which it is.

I've done 3rd steps alone all the way up to saying the prayer in a huge group. My favorite "method" was at Dr Bob's house in Arkron. Just my sponsor and I were in the "3rd step bedroom" (the room where Dr Bob would take new guys to do their 3rd step prayer with him before going to their first meeting). It was VERY emotional for me...... never would have guessed how cool it was going to be.

God can burst into my life in a lot of ways. Many of them are by working the steps of AA. Many more are outside the steps and outside the specific language of the BB. I'm more open now to things like someone else's practices, trying another person's method of seeking God, and even more tolerant of what I may judge to be religious practices.

My sponsor and I knelt at the altar in a catholic church, held hands and said the third step prayer together. As it says in the Big Book, this step should be taken with someone and is actually the first step that suggests doing a step by myself. I'll never forget the experience for two reasons. Kneeling at an altar in God's house is very humbling especially holding hands with someone, and second, I wasn't catholic at the time. I am now so it has great meaning to me in my life. And, I've never found it necessary to take a drink.:herewego