I feel the most important thing is that the step takes place in a person's heart. Externals according to one's tastes, internals non negotiable.

Different people might find meaning in various words, settings, or prayer positions, but I truly don't think the externals have any ability to make or break what is happening in a person's heart/mind/soul.

I personally have to watch out for 'magical thinking" because it is something that I have a tendency towards. Thinking if I make the right outward production etc that it will make things "ok". Way too many times I let this distract me from doing the internal work.

My first sponsor told me I was ready to take Step 3, she told me exactly how to do it, on my knees, using the BB prayer...I relapsed. The last time I did it, there was no ritual, fanfare, special words or prayer positions, but it took, because my heart was true.

I think as long as one is sure they've got it "internally" they can dress it up or down any way they like.

I recommit myself each day to Step 3 by saying my prayers every morning upon waking.

Sounds a little "cultic" if you ask me, yukkk - this is why i have stayed out of those NA/AA rooms cuz they seem like a cult - maybe i judge too quickly but like you said, you must stay away from that "magical thinking" yourself that others in the rooms definitely have/use which im only assuming because of your implication.

hi threshold I pray the 3rd step prayer everyday and everyday I pray that I may turn my will and my live over to JESUS. thy will not mine be done.whatever way works for you,,thats great.just remember to pray every day for the help from your hp to keep you sober today. I say this because prayer is my strongest tool in my "AA TOOL BOX" ask GOD to help you do the right thing today....stay sober my friend,and remember "JLY"

In some circumstances, I do believe rituals are potent. I have gotten some results from them before and after recovery. I can't say as any of the 3rd step rituals I engaged in helped me stay sober. But then again, none of them were exactly new to me.

My experience with rituals has been that when they are fresh and novel, I get some results. When they are stale or repetitive I don't get results. My experience having watched others has been along the same lines. Fresh prayers, fresh rituals and fresh sacrifices seem to get results. Thus the old saying:

"Pray not in vain repetition". :angel:

This just about nails it for me. There is nothing compulsory about any of it. The directions are there to be followed if you wish.

In fact at one point the book says to the reader something like: perhaps you are wondering what you will have to do. The Book does not answer "we will tell you what to do" instead it says we will show you what we have done.

When running a B2B session recently, I suggest to the sponsors that they might put aside their personal preferences about the third step prayer, and try to show their pigeons what the authors of the Big Book did (the proof is in the pudding) as Boleo says. What happens later is their business, we are simply trying to carry a consistent message. In this light it's never been a problem.

Funnily enough, when sponsors are not prepared in advance, all kinds of strange things can happen. People stick to their guns, refusing to do this or that, arguing with each other - the pigeons look on in a state of bemusement, it's not them with the issues, it's the dam sponsors.

I don't wish to contradict Boleo about recalcitrant sponsees. My experience is the same. Just that they don't seem to turn up at the B2B like the recalcitrant sponsors do! :)

Any 'ritual' has to be better than the drinking one I had - I would wake up and try to gauge if the shot of vodka would stay down or get on my knees in front of the porcelain alter first. If you haven't tried out this 'ritual' - trust me .. just keep on drinking.

I have often found rituals to be a beautiful and powerful part of my life, spiritual and beyond. Both new rituals AND well loved oft repeated one's.

For me, rituals are powerful when, as in Step 3, I bring myself fully to them, not go through the motions, follow some other person's direction and hope for the best.

My first Step 3 "ritual" was repeating my sponsor's ritual. She assigned a sort of power to it and assured me that even though I had reservations, didn't feel comfortable with the ritual or the step itself that doing the ritual would suffice. Unfortunately it did not.

The wording went in opposition of my own religious faith. She told me to use the words out of book because they'd worked for her and other people.

I think it is situations like that that confuse outsiders and newcomers about the spiritual not religious aspects of AA. Some people do treat the BB, down to the letter, as many people treat their religious text, and some sponsors require a level of obedience from their sponsors that leads to further confusion.

It is fully the sponsors option to pass on the message exactly as it came to them and expect their sponsees to do the same. But even the BB says that one may use the words of their choice.

I currently don't practice any ritual other than kneeling when I pray, but I think it's an excellent idea. I kneel because it helps me to be more focused, and it has a certain humbling effect. I like the idea of even more elaborate rituals because they create an experience which I feel is helpful in remembering the connection we have with our HP.

Early in sobriety I had a ritual of getting on my knees, praying, reading from my 24 hour book, doing an relaxation/meditation exercise, then praying again and improvising some prayer, singing quietly while playing my guitar. Was like my own little mass that would take about a half an hour. I did it a few times a week, and at that time it was absolutely necessary for me. I was riddled with depression, panic and anxiety, still had phobias, and well... this was a big part of what I considered my medication. And it worked.

Thanks for the thought provoking thread. I think I might start incorporating a ritual into my routine again. :)

Oh yeah... I also have a god box, but I use it for extreme emergencies only. I think I've only used it around 5 times in my entire life. Interesting thing is that years (sometimes months) later when I look back at my notes, I'm astounded and reassured that a higher power is absolutely, without any doubt working in my life.

I have really found the "God" box useful too. So simple but a perfect "illustration" of letting go for me.