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AVRT Crash Course Having gone 10 days sober I wanted to do the crash course again but my links aren't working for some reason. Has the website been taken down? |
Hello Kaily, yes the server apparently cannot be found when I tried it a minute ago. However, while you are waiting for that to sort itself out, there are some very good threads explaining AVRT in depth on here. Algorithm knows AVRT inside out and all of his posts are informative. If you read any of the threads posted by newcomers to AVRT, members here have given a wealth of information to them. Tatsys thread when she was starting out here, Flame11 and BeHappy have tons of information from people who explain the ins and outs of AVRT If you search the AVRT threads on here, I think you will find a lot more information than is on the basic crash course on the RR website. |
Hi Kaily, congratulations on 10 days! When I was learning about AVRT last year, the website was down temporarily. I recall the AV saying "this must be a load of rubbish, they can't even keep the website running, it'll never work" etc. It was pure Beast, opportunistic. The real beauty of AVRT for me, is that my sobriety isn't dependant upon outside agencies, circumstances or contingencies. It's just me and the Beast (mis-directed drive for alcohol) and my Beast is now caged, although not quite silenced; but that isn't a problem - because if the AV pops up, I now instantly recognise and immediately dismiss IT. For now, if you haven't already, I think Flame11s AVRT thread has some great explanatory posts from members, plus Behappy1s thread and the original AVRT explained 6 part thread started by TU. Plus, anything posted by Algorithm, who has immense knowledge and is particularly adept at using language that thoroughly conveys the nuances of AVRT. |
The long running AVRT discussion thread has a lot of info too, I was going to post a link, but it won't let me as I need to have had 15 posts to do that. Terminally Unique seems to know his stuff |
I found reading through the AVRT discussion threads enormously helpful to my understanding of AVRT, would definitely recommend doing so. |
Congrats on day 10! I'm on day 21 for the first time since being pregnant YEARS ago thanks to AVRT. I'm going to do the same as you and reread the AVRT threads as a refresher now. Good luck. |
Thanks for all the replies. Yes I have been reading all the threads and have also purchased the The Rational Recovery book but as yet have been unable to settle enough to read and absorb it. Hopefully the website will be up and running again soon. Well done Silverskies! |
I'm so glad you're here Kaily, with 10 days under your belt - that's awesome! I hadn't realised you'd been reading the AVRT threads and purchased the book. When I started my thread, here on SR last year - questioning whether I needed to purchase the book - on reflection it's laughable considering how much I was spending on drink a day, more than the book. If you haven't attended AA (I'm not really allowed to say that here but I'm not disparaging it and hopefully it's OK) then first 28 pages of the book don't require reading because, essentially it's 'deprograming'. But if you start reading from page 29 onwards, you'll find the book so beneficial. I'm so thrilled you've stopped drinking Kaily. Did you attend the detox you were waiting for, or stop yourself? Sorry for the question if it's intrusive. |
Silverskies, congratulations on your day 21! Learning and applying AVRT last year, almost 7 months ago, most probably saved my life. And yes, this is the longest I've been sober, apart from being pregnant too! Please read around the AVRT threads that myself and Gary mentioned above, there's so much information, explanation and insight. |
Thanks Tatsy and no not intrusive at all. I have been to AA but never took to it so I guess I can go to page 29! I never did get my detox although I was truly convinced that was the only way forward, so against all medical advice I just stopped. I didn't get withdrawals in the form of shaking, sickness etc but I am ridiculously tired, ridiculously hungry, have brain fog and the beast is calling frequently, more so tonight than in the last 10 days. |
I use anything that will help me stay sober I have schizophrenia and sometimes voices they tell me to drink my av is alive but has lost the battle |
Hi Kaily, of course, for the Beast, it's early days and it's missing its usual fix! It's so awesome that you stopped drinking on your own! I'll try to stop the exclamation marks now, but truly, I was were you were. Petrified to stop. the Internet and this site said I'd suffer dire consequences, but I persevered and after cutting down slightly-ish I stopped too. The world didn't fall on my head and I was safe. Kaily, the Beast would love you to pick up an alcoholic drink and place it in your mouth and you to drink it now. And if you did as the Beast desires, you'd be right back where you've been for so long, as I was, drinking to ameliorate the withdrawals- all day, every day. That's no way to exist. At 10days you're beyond the physical withdrawals and therefore, can be be free forever. I'd drank more than a lifetimes alcohol and so when I put it firmly in the past, by making my Big Plan, it was set in stone. If only, at nearly 7 months abstinent, I could transmit how I feel mentally and physically, you'd instantly dismiss that AV for what it is - a grotesque, snivelling, impotent, powerless thought or feeling, floating through your mind. YOU can dismiss IT Kaily, YOU have the power! |
Hi Kaily! Congratulations on ten days! That's huge! I agree with everything Tatsy said. Hers was actually the thread that I stuck with the most when I quit, following her journey was really inspiring. I'm three months in now, and I feel great. It gets easier all the time. You never have to go through withdrawal again. Hugs :) |
Kaily and silverskies, so glad you're here. Read and post and stick around ... and we know you can do this! |
Hi Kaily, I've just noticed the AVRT website is back online. |
Originally Posted by Kaily
(Post 6391705)
I never did get my detox although I was truly convinced that was the only way forward, so against all medical advice I just stopped. Right now, having gone beyond ten days without a drop, your are past any danger from physical withdrawal. If you don't make the mistake of starting back up again, then you are basically home free, and you never have to go through this again. The free crash course at the RR site was updated in 2014, but the original is in the RR: The New Cure book, as part of Chapter 3. Read through the book, as well as the discussion threads, to get a good, solid foundation on AVRT, and to tighten up the screws on your Beast. Like Tatsy said, you can absolutely beat this thing forever, and AVRT can make it easier. All self doubt in your ability to do so is just your Addictive Voice -- the Beast barking. |
Thanks Algorithm. I have toyed with the idea of not posting this but I want it out there to look back on and to get people's thoughts- I lapsed on Saturday evening. I had had a good day and was feeling positive, did a long dog walk, went to lunch at a friends house and just casually said that I had given up drinking when I was offered a glass of wine so we enjoyed a pot of tea instead. When I got home I was tired and restless, beast and AV were nagging away at me much more than usual and I didn't seem to have the energy to say NO. Not sure I even wanted to. Anyway two hours later I bought one bottle of wine, drank it in half an hour, didn't enjoy it and felt rough all day yesterday. I feel I have learnt from this. I will be stronger next time my beast takes advantage of me when I am overtired. |
Kaily, I'm not very good at explaining what I mean in writing, but as there doesn't seem to be anyone around at the moment I'll give it a shot. AVRT is about separating from and recognizing the AV. When you say you didn't have the energy to say NO, who would you have been saying no to if you had had the energy? You do not engage with the AV at all, even to answer NO to its wants You recognize it as the AV and dismiss it because it is suggesting drink and "you" do not drink You can observe how it will try and manipulate your thoughts into drinking, but all the while knowing it is IT not you that is craving the alcohol. YOU do not drink under any conditions, whether you are tired, stressed, hungry, angry...you get the picture. IT will want drink under any and every condition including when you are happy and relaxed. IT just wants alcohol full stop. The Beast cannot take advantage of you, you control your arms and legs. If the Beast had control of your motor functions, I could understand how it could have gone and bought alcohol and made you drink it, but as it is YOU have the advantage over IT. IT must have been distraught when you refused the wine at your friends house, YOU should have been very pleased with yourself! I'm sure you will get there Kaily |
Thanks GaryB. I think I still have a lot to learn and your post is helping me do that. |
It's sort of learning a new way and unlearning the old way we thought about addiction imo Kaily. Glad I've been of a little help. I like to look upon my AV the way my team mates in the footy team at school looked on me. Every time we had a strategy meeting at half time, I would come up with some brilliant (I thought, really I was a terrible strategist) ideas. They would break from their discussion on tactics, look at me as if I had landed from another planet and without saying a word get back to the tactic talk! I see my AV like that now, no matter what the problem/celebration it only has one strategy in its "mind" ..drink I hear this suggestion and look at my AV as if it is from another planet - as I don't drink and never will, and then just get on with what I was doing. |
Gary , imho, I think you were wrong. You explained it very well. Kaily , what is your plan for future alcohol use ? |
dwtbd my plan is to never drink alcohol again. |
Kaily good, you picked an entirely do-able plan, rootin for ya :) |
Hi Kaily, I just wrote you a very long post and accidently pressed your thread page two button and when I went back, the draft had disappeared. I'll write again so, I need to walk my dogs before dusk. How are you today, what are your thoughts, do you have any questions whatsoever. When I was fine tuning my AR recognition and separation, I had the benefit of reading the replies to Flames questions in her thread, it was of great assistance, even though my BP was in place forever, I wanted to know all the nuances of AVRT. |
Originally Posted by Kaily
(Post 6394905)
dwtbd my plan is to never drink alcohol again. "I will never drink/use again."
Originally Posted by Kaily
(Post 6394202)
When I got home I was tired and restless, beast and AV were nagging away at me much more than usual and I didn't seem to have the energy to say NO. Not sure I even wanted to. Remember, also, that although they are closely related, that the AV and the Beast are not the same thing. I explained this distinction previously in a response to Behappy1 in another thread.
Originally Posted by Algorithm
(Post 6357463)
You need to drive the Beast into the ground, but in order to so so, you will have to first stop caring about its suffering by deprivation. In order to separate, it may help you to understand that the AV is not the same thing as the Beast, but rather, the AV is the voice of the Beast. AV ≠ Beast AV → Beast = Bark → Dog The AV is to the Beast as the Bark is to the Dog. The AV is the 'bark' of the Beast, and the AV, not the Beast, is the real cause of your addiction. The Beast is impotent, without hands, and depends on you to feed it. The AV is any thinking or feeling that supports or suggests the possible future use of alcohol or other drugs. When you feel a sense of deprivation from alcohol, that is the Addictive Voice, because that sense of deprivation suggests the possible future use of alcohol. It is the Beast talking to you. IT, and not you, suffers, and IT is trying to convince you that ITS suffering is your suffering. The Beast doesn't care if you suffer, so don't concern yourself with whether or not IT suffers. When you feel ITS sense of deprivation, be glad that IT suffers, after all that it has done, and let the thing bark. You don't even need to 'bark' back. Just let it starve, and it will let you go. Do you understand what you will be giving up, in addition to what you already have given up, if you continue to allow your Beast to structure your life around ITS needs? Would you ever willingly let another person take as much from you? If you haven't done so already, I would encourage you to go through the crash course, and to start reading through the Rational Recovery book. AVRT is simple, but it can't hurt to learn as much as you can, and it will pay dividends. |
Hi Kaily, In your post you said that when you were offered an alcoholic drink at your friends house, you replied that you had 'given up' drinking. That line stuck out to me because since I made my Big Plan and by learning avrt I genuinely don't feel like I have given up anything. For me 'giving up' feels like I am depriving myself of something which I am not. I don't drink, I am a non drinker. However I am depriving IT of something...IT'S life giving alcohol and IT let's me know this through my AV= any thought or feeling that contradicts my Big Plan. I have gained so much in these past few months because I have found myself again. Before I learnt avrt my life was controlled by IT'S desire to drink, which limited my existence to a cycle of work, drink, sleep, I was barely functioning really and there would have been worse to come for sure. Now, however I am feeling or whatever is going on in my life I don't drink ever, this is not contingent on anything outside of me. You CAN do this Kaily! |
Hi Kaily, I absolutely agree with everything that Gary, Dwtbd, Algorithm and Flame have written, so well, and they have covered everything (and more) that my accidentally unsaved post from last night did. So I'll just add, that my experience also, is that diction is of paramount importance, it has a great impact going forwards. In the early days after my BP I carefully filtered my thoughts for any sign of AV. In so doing, I often corrected myself, so if 'I've given up alcohol' automatically cropped up, I'd instantly restate that as 'I'm a non-drinker', As I read around SR I often heard 'I'm in recovery' and my AV would get excited, but I'd instantly correct myself 'I'm recovered'. It sounds like pedantics, but it's not. I exerted my self-will and after making a Big Plan, I'm a non-drinker and recovered for the rest of my life. Unlike the Beast, who is suffering from giving up alcohol enforced upon IT by ME and the Beast is in recovery, whilst IT sits in ITs permanently locked cage, occasionally barking AV at me. I have given up nothing, but instead, regained my life, freedom from addiction; to build and grow, as I may. Kaily, you CAN do this, I have absolute faith in YOU. |
Yes, like Tatsy said diction is so important. It's become second nature to me now. I remember when I first started avrt, the urges to drink were very strong, sometimes the AV would come up with a lot of thoughts and emotions, to try to justify drinking to get me to give in, and the physical urges at times felt almost overpowering. But I remember thinking to myself, hehe, the Beast is really suffering, I can feel it suffering and I'm glad, because IT made me suffer enough meeting ITs desire to drink over the years. I get urges and AV thoughts very seldom now. But when I do I still like to feel ITs suffering, after all, it's my suffering or ITs suffering. If alcohol was ever consumed again by me, ITs suffering would end and mine would start. I know which one of us I prefer to suffer. |
Hi Kaily, how are you feeling today,:grouphug:. Have you read the recent posts and if so, do you have any questions that we, may, be able to help with? I found AVRT to be a steep learning curve, but once learnt, addiction is behind you. No one day at a time life sentence, so the steep curve was worth it. That life sentence is pronounced, by you, upon your Booze Beast and ITs desire for alcohol. So, whilst IT serves ITs lifetime sentence locked away, alcohol free, for the crime of what ITs inflicted upon you - you're acquitted and free to live your life alcohol free. I just had to go back and correct myself, sorry guys, but my Beast is male and I had to replace 'he' with IT! |
Hi Tatsy. I am doing ok thanks. Just back from an Agility class with my dog. AV started up on the way home in the form of I deserve a reward for doing well at the class etc etc but I managed to separate it as as the beast and not me. I do find that I need something to look forward to when coming home such as a nice dinner or a cake whereas when I was still drinking food was the last thing I thought about, only interested in the alcohol! Plus I go to bed at about 8pm as I get very bored and lonely by then as I live on my own. I am grateful for all the replies and I am sure I will be asking plenty of questions in the coming weeks. Thanks. |
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