yep..the fear thing...

we have to do the next indicated thing...it doesn't mean there isn't fear, we just act anyway. thats hard. I remember going to the dentist with a major health issue related to a tooth pulling...long story short...it was complicated...I ended up hopitalized for days.

But..the point is...I went in to the dentist. I cried and shook and sobbed. My friend helped me walk to the door cause I was so scared I could barley stay on my feet....But I went. I was humiliated and embarrased and all that stuff, but now, 25 years later...it is one of the bravest moments of my life...

we don't always do the next indicated thing to move forward with grace and dignity. I think the key is to do the next indicated thing, even when you know you will look like a driviling idiot LOL .... give up looking good to others, and do what you need to do :)

I heard that. Thank you.

I hear that too.
It's something wonderful about reading of where others are in their recovery/ progress, that I imagine we all struggle with some similar issues. Fear of what others might think about me or my choices has paralyzed me my whole life through. My greatest achievements have been those I decide for myself, knowing what is best, without allowing the judgments of others to dictate what I can or cannot do. It's still a struggle to act, though.

So I appreciate all that is contributed here. More power to you, recycle!

Random thought I had while reading this thread (only semi-related to some comments above): I always thought the advice not to change anything major early in recovery was kind of odd. My life revolved around dope. I couldn't possibly quit dope and keep doing everything else. Although it had to happen in stages so I could handle it, I lead my own revolution in that first year. Change nothing? Ha. I changed pretty much everything.

Thanks andisa, things are better for me taking on the next thing. I have had a nice revelation in my recovery since I last posted on this thread: The realization that all of my fear was just me. Nobody can do anything important enough to make me afraid. It is still easy for me to forget that. But I will prevail...