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-   -   It bothers me. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/212627-bothers-me.html)

gneiss 11-05-2010 11:01 AM

Jamdls, it's not that I have a problem being told God loves me. I have a problem with being spoken down to, and as I said the vast majority of the time I'm told God loves me it's said in a condescending way. The few times I've heard it in a positive manner I've been fine with it. Disagreeing about the existence of God has nothing to do with the fact the person is wishing me well.

LaFemme 11-05-2010 12:11 PM

Awwww zencat..."I love you!"...take it our leave it;-p

:a194:

Zencat 11-05-2010 05:26 PM


Originally Posted by LaFemme (Post 2758039)
Awwww zencat..."I love you!"...take it our leave it;-p

:a194:

I'll take it http://bestsmileys.com/love2/25.gif, much love right back at cha ;).

Come join me on the road.

Bamboozle 11-06-2010 04:58 AM

Oh, it bothers me, too. I don't like it when anyone invokes their beliefs upon me, especially when they don't know me or my history.

Religion hurt me very much. It's not a simple matter of not believing. It was actually detrimental to my well being and that's very hard for a lot of folks to understand. I can trace much of my low self esteem to what I was lead to believe as a child. There are many people who dealt with far worse than I have--some folks were manipulated in cults or were in abusive family situations centering around religion. I think most people don't think about the kind of impact a seemingly innocuous phrase has on those who experienced bad things surrounding religion.

How do I handle it? Usually with silence. I bite my tongue so I don’t get really nasty.

Live 11-06-2010 05:14 AM

Most of the time it doesn't bother me in the slightest but there are times when I think to myself...and you are God's messenger in a special relationship to be able to tell me that in such a manner? I reckon He/She could tell me directly, right? LOL

I try not to get upset over too much, it's not worth it and I hope I am not that fragile.

I am trying to pick my battles. LOL ;)

Isaiah 11-06-2010 09:00 AM

I sort of stumbled into this conversation by accident (saw it in the New Posts section.)

I am a Christian. Do I believe God loves everyone here, absolutely! But I was also an atheist for a very long time and haven't forgotten a bit of what it was like dealing with certain religious people. I try my best to encourage my fellow believers not to think they need to take a parental/superior role towards dealing with the non-religious. My firm belief: you're all perfectly capable adults who can make your own decisions.

For me that speaks to a certain arrogance. Most people have a certain degree of certainty with what they believe. Why certain theists are so convinced that somehow everyone but their own ilk are just struggling, in need of their intervention is just ego.

LaFemme 11-06-2010 07:06 PM


Originally Posted by Isaiah (Post 2758818)
I sort of stumbled into this conversation by accident (saw it in the New Posts section.)

I am a Christian. Do I believe God loves everyone here, absolutely! But I was also an atheist for a very long time and haven't forgotten a bit of what it was like dealing with certain religious people. I try my best to encourage my fellow believers not to think they need to take a parental/superior role towards dealing with the non-religious. My firm belief: you're all perfectly capable adults who can make your own decisions.

For me that speaks to a certain arrogance. Most people have a certain degree of certainty with what they believe. Why certain theists are so convinced that somehow everyone but their own ilk are just struggling, in need of their intervention is just ego.

Really well put...can I pretend I said that?

oak 11-06-2010 11:38 PM

I don't know if I have been told that. I can see being bothered just because it is the dominant religion in the US. I think people in the dominant, mainstream position often don't think about how someone else's beliefs might be different.

I grew up being told I would go to hell (by classmates). I don't think they were being mean. They were just saying what they believed to be true.

So, God loves you and you are going to hell. (have I helped any?)

Boleo 11-16-2010 01:38 PM


Originally Posted by SlvrMag (Post 2756870)

I gotta go figure out why it bothers me....

Sometimes it bothers me to when people say something that sounds so "Rehearsed" that I doubt they really mean it. This is known as perfunctory behavior in psychology and is sometimes synonymous with disingenuous.

In all fairness, sometimes it is just me projecting my own motives onto other people. Some of them are just trying to be helpful and don't know of any better words to say under the circumstances. Like when you loose a loved one and somebody says they are sorry - sorry for what?

vinepest 11-17-2010 07:09 PM

I don't think it's condescending to be told that God loves me, but it is disappointing to hear. It is a harsh reminder that whoever I happen to hear it from is so terribly childish that he has an imaginary friend.


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