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It bothers me.

Old 11-04-2010, 11:37 AM
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It bothers me.

When people tell me "God loves you" it bothers me.

I guess it shouldn't. They mean well.

I gotta go figure out why it bothers me....
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:42 PM
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Except in rare cases (I can think of 2 where I think the person sincerely meant that she believes God loves me and she knows we don't agree on religion but there wasn't much she could do except offer her prayers), it bothers me, too. More often than not when I have been told God loves me it is NOT a nice thing to say, they don't mean well, they mean they think I'm too stupid to waste their time on. I feel like it's kind of condescending, like they have some magical secret that they're trying to let you in on.

It's also rude because it's dismissive; 3 words to negate anything you might have said. "It doesn't matter that you have logical arguments to the contrary, I know better and God will love you anyway." Gee, thanks. Plus another aspect of it being dismissive is that it almost forces their religion on you, i.e. no matter what you think it's ok, God loves you even though you are wrong.

Also it bothers me because it's intellectually lazy, the easy way out. "You're an idiot, but God loves you and I don't need to actually try to do any work now."

That is all. For now.
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Old 11-04-2010, 07:23 PM
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Originally Posted by gneiss View Post
almost forces their religion on you,



I think this is it. I just feel like, how can they assume that those words are a comfort to me? I guess it is to most people, and like I said, I don't think they mean any harm. It probably just doesn't even occur to them that I may not believe in the same things they do. It's a bit presumptuous.
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Old 11-04-2010, 07:37 PM
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I think I agree with the concept of it forcing a religion on you by saying "God loves you"...if I was having a sincere, deep conversation with a non-believer I would maybe express my belief that God does in fact love you as it is my belief that God is love. But throwing the statements "God loves you" at someone I know code not believe is not something I would do. Additiinally, I come from a long line of repressed Scandinavians who believe love is a four letter word not to be used in polite society;-)
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Old 11-04-2010, 07:58 PM
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Guess who will not be getting the boxed set of
"Touched By An Angel" for Christmas!
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Old 11-04-2010, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by hollyanne View Post
guess who will not be getting the boxed set of
"touched by an angel" for christmas!


LoL!!!
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Old 11-04-2010, 08:16 PM
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I got really torqued with a "qualified, experienced "therapist" " today.
I later figured out that I don't like a bunch of easy, happy, slappy cliches.
Don't even pretend that you know me in less than a minute and can comfort me or assist me in that manner.
ugh.
It feels very similar to this, I think.

Understanding and compassion can't be faked so don't insult my intelligence and me like that.


Thanks for clarifying so well Gneiss.
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Old 11-04-2010, 09:00 PM
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I've always been really irked by "fake it until you make it." Man I hate that idea!
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Old 11-04-2010, 09:16 PM
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Me too!
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:36 AM
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The next time it happens tell whoever you hope that he/she will be touched by FSM's noodly appendage.
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:09 AM
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Indeed. There's a certain sort of implied guilt that comes with saying it as such. Love is supposed to be reciprocated, so it's sort of like being told you're indifferent to love.

If people wanted to make their point and be a little more decent about it they'd say, "I think that God loves you" or "I believe that God loves you." There, there's no implication that you're obligated to reciprocate.
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:53 AM
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Omg Isaiah! You are totally right...its like passive aggressive!
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:22 AM
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I don't understand why someone saying "God loves you" would bother someone it is not asking anything from you it is offering something to you and if you don't want it then fine. I have had numerous Jewish friends over the years and we've discussed them being wished "Merry Christmas" and/or receiving Christmas cards, although none of them celebrated Christmas none were bother by the wish or the card. I don't go around saying "God loves you" but I do often say "God bless you" (when someone including my dog sneezes) or "God be with you" and by saying these things I am wishing that God blesses or is with the person and if they don't want that offering that is their business. If someone said to me "Buddha loves you" or whatever higher power they believed in, I'd think "cool, I need all the love I can get".
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:51 AM
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Interesting debate. The phrase "God loves you" doesn't bring up much of anything in me. I think if you're not sure there is a God, it doesn't make much impact. At least that's my reaction. No one actually says that to me but if they did I would be like, "Okay really? Glad that you know that!"
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Old 11-05-2010, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by jamdls View Post
I don't understand why someone saying "God loves you" would bother someone it is not asking anything from you it is offering something to you and if you don't want it then fine. I have had numerous Jewish friends over the years and we've discussed them being wished "Merry Christmas" and/or receiving Christmas cards, although none of them celebrated Christmas none were bother by the wish or the card. I don't go around saying "God loves you" but I do often say "God bless you" (when someone including my dog sneezes) or "God be with you" and by saying these things I am wishing that God blesses or is with the person and if they don't want that offering that is their business. If someone said to me "Buddha loves you" or whatever higher power they believed in, I'd think "cool, I need all the love I can get".
Well that's just the thing. There's a big difference in the way I'm told "Merry Christmas" and the way I'm told "God loves you." Being wished a merry Christmas doesn't bother me one bit because it's done in a sincere manner, the person would like me to have a nice holiday, and even if I don't celebrate it that's ok.

I've been told God loves me many times, but I can count on one hand the number of times it was sincere. The overwhelming majority of "God loves you" comments I hear are snide or condescending. A lady I work with did this a couple weeks ago. She asked what I'm majoring in and what my thesis is about, so I told her. Why ask questions about geology if you have a problem with the idea of geologic time? She turned it into a religious debate and then got frustrated because I wouldn't agree with her. And then finished off with "Well God still loves you." It was clear that what she really meant was more like "Well God still loves you, but I think you're a jerk." The vast majority of times I've been told God loves me is in some similar scenario, it's nearly always to end a disagreement, and more often than not it's because the person doesn't know how else to argue their case so they decide to claim some sort of moral high ground. It is definitely not that they particularly believe or care if God loves me.

And that brings me to another reason it annoys me. In claiming that I'm wrong but it's ok because God still loves me, you (in the generic sense of "you") have basically claimed that God is on your side and you are always right. The whole point of starting such a conversation is to convince me that I'm wrong and I should find God. But with that statement you just manipulated your religion to validate everything you think. As far as I can tell from these conversations religion is a tool, a means to an end, rather than something honestly believed. And in that case "God loves you" is a hollow statement.
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Old 11-05-2010, 08:52 AM
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Well that sucks Gneiss and I agree it would be very rude to say to someone who I knew didn't believe in God "God loves you", I wasn't thinking of that aspect; I'll keep that in mind before I say "God bless you" the next time someone sneezes....course if it's someone I don't know I just say "bless you" and leave off the God part anyhow.
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by jamdls View Post
I don't understand why someone saying "God loves you" would bother someone it is not asking anything from you it is offering something to you and if you don't want it then fine. I have had numerous Jewish friends over the years and we've discussed them being wished "Merry Christmas" and/or receiving Christmas cards, although none of them celebrated Christmas none were bother by the wish or the card. I don't go around saying "God loves you" but I do often say "God bless you" (when someone including my dog sneezes) or "God be with you" and by saying these things I am wishing that God blesses or is with the person and if they don't want that offering that is their business. If someone said to me "Buddha loves you" or whatever higher power they believed in, I'd think "cool, I need all the love I can get".


As I said in my first post, I was not sure why it bothered me, just that it does, and I was going to go think about why.

Well, it bothers me because...I don't believe in god! Plain and simple.

If someone told me "The monster under the bed loves you" I would think "um...no it doesn't because I don't believe in monsters".


Oh, and the only reasons I do Christmas are because I have children and I am not going to 'force' my belief (or lack thereof) on them. They are free to discover who they are and what they believe.
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:13 AM
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I don't even think a "God bless you" is overly problematic because it can be seen as almost non religious, same as Merry Christmas. My mom is an atheist and has no problem with God bless you (for a sneez...saying it for other reasons is problematic). When you say "God loves you" you are personalizing it. As Isaiah says love is a two way street, it implies relationship. I do believe God loves us, but when you say "God loves you" its floating a relationship on someone who doesn't believe in God. If that makes any sense:-)
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
Interesting debate. The phrase "God loves you" doesn't bring up much of anything in me. I think if you're not sure there is a God, it doesn't make much impact. At least that's my reaction. No one actually says that to me but if they did I would be like, "Okay really? Glad that you know that!"


I see your point. It's not like hearing the words are a life shattering event,
it just causes some slight discomfort.
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:43 AM
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Its hard for me to put into words without going off into a rant, but Ill try.

I don't want Gods love, don't need it, cant use it. Well that's about all I can safely say here at SR...LOL.

I do however respond to those that say 'God loves you' by replying 'no thanks' .
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