*Bam raises both hands in the air*


Katie...one of the biggest reasons I've relapsed time and time again is because of suicidal thoughts. I know I'm not allowed to talk about it here, but it's a huge problem. It's a shame that this is such a taboo subject. At least my therapist knows what's going on...I've been very honest.

My thoughts/emotions take over time and again. Sometimes it's too much to bear.

I'm hanging in there, though. I'm working with my therapist and doctor right now to get the best treatment.

One thing that helps me a lot is getting away from people. I go for walks and take pictures. It is a way to cope.

Bam, I do hope you are on some kind of medication for this? Sounds to me like it might be a good idea, although no Dr. here. I too dabble in the checking out idea once in a while, but it passes quickly. Somehow maybe saying it removes the thought. I don't know. I think going for walks and taking pictures is an excellent way to deal with things.

I am but it's not working. Dealing with my doctor is slow-going.

Aye, aye, aye. Tell me about it. I've been with mine for FIVE years. It's a process and one has to have a LOT of patience. As long as you like the Dr and trust him/her hang in there! It can take a long time to find the right combo.

[QUOTE=Katie09;2237358]I've often heard in meetings..."I am a grateful, recovering alcoholic." Well, one might be grateful to be recovering, but I've certainly never been of the bent that I am grateful to have this thing. I've struggled my whole damn life with this deal and, if I had my druthers, it would not be a part of who I am and I don't care what anyone says at any meeting.

At one forum I go to a lady has a quote that God blessed her with Multiple Sclerosis. Huh? :no:

KariSue

I have a cousin who would not be the wonderful man he is today without his program. I would not be the person I am today without mine (SMART Recovery). I am grateful that my eyes have been opened to many of the life changes I needed to make that were not related to drug use. I was exposed to CBT through SMART. Am I grateful? You better believe it!

I think that is great Alera. It does warm my heart to know that you've found a fit for you that works well! :) I need to keep working on me here and do the same. I'm still most definitely *not* grateful to have this to contend with. Decisions that every day people could make in their best interest seem to be accentuated when dealing with this. For example, I now have to distance myself from someone until I *like me* (which could take forever or never) just for the sake of staying alive. Normal people don't have to sit and make these decisions as a matter of routine and I think it really sucks. :(