Really Had a gutful here
 

Really mucked up an interview today and feeling down and f***** useless. I have not felt so close to picking up for months and can't bring myself to phone anyone.

Only thing I can think to do is hide for the day at home and hold on.



bu**er bu**er bu**er

((( nogard )))

Don't judge yourself on one lousy interview. You are worth so much more then that. Jobs come and go, you are irreplaceable. Be gentle with yourself.
Bless,Trish

Hi Kevin, sorry you are feeling c******** Just remember this too will pass!

I am going to seddon meeting tonite if you are in town

HUGX
Lee

Well now you know what NOT to do next time... That sounds like a positive to me and a day where you learned something, sounds like a good day to me!
There is a great book out there and is you ever get a chance to read it I would strongly recommend it. Its called "A new set of glasses" great book, when in recovery our perception is a little off and how we perceive things differently. I know today must have been a tough one, but just think of the new possiblities that you have.? Unlimited!!!

Best of luck!

~GB



ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some
person, place, thing, or situation-- Some fact of life -- unacceptable to me, and
I can find no serenity until I accept that
person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly
the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in
God's world by mistake.
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to
be changed in the world as on what needs to
be changed in me and in my attitudes.


- from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 449 -

(((Kev))) It's never as bad as we make it!

Ouch!
 

courier newdarkolivegreen
Howdy, I'm new here.
I know that the worst thing that I can do when I've had a crap day is to add insult to injury by being horrible to myself. I have used up alot of energy thinking that I won't get anything done if I don't call myself names. It's amazing what a load of crap that is! I don't need to fight myself...I need to learn to be kind to myself so I don't have to pick up a drink to punish my lame useless a** and prove how right I am in my deeply held belief that I suck. I have more energy when I'm at *least* polite to myself. Boy, did I need to write this down today. Thanks,
J

Hi Greenbug !

That quote re Acceptance , is my VERY favorite from the Big Book. It was a lightglobe moment for me when I first read it

HUGX
Lee

Sorry Kevin, I forgot to add I have the set of CDs " A new pair of Glasses" if you would like to borrow them

HUGX
Lee

Don't you dare pick up, Kev!!! Hang in there, Bro!
****{hugs}}}

Hi Nogard,

I know how you feel about the interview. Blown a couple myself and felt rotten. Getting or keeping a job sometimes seems like the most important thing, but I know I am forgeting that there are things like my sobriety that mean so much more. Jobs will come and go, but without sobriety, I will lose everything.

You will get another crack at an interview. Don't worry about that. Just don't pick up and let the feelings you are having dissipate. They will and you will see your feelings of disappointment wane and you will feel better.

I think that the job thing can be one of the biggest threats to our sobriety. Especially in the first year or two. We feel such pressure (and financial need often) to get that high paying job and "succeed". This pressure often comes with sobriey as we try to repair years of damage to our careers and work record. This stuff ain't easy to deal with.

What a rat race. Thank goodness for the support of other addicts and alcoholics.

Oh well. Dust yourself off, don't drink or use, and give yourself another shot. You will do fine the next time.

Jup.

Think of the mucked up interview as a 'practice run'.

The next time it will be smoother.:approve:

Hugs Kevin

Thanks everyone.

I handled it the best way I could, which of course was not perfect. I was so angry at myself I fell asleep fopr a couple of hours and when I woke up I realised the angry was aslo covering my fear of not having any work and all that would mean. So I hit the phone and talked to a few people and put things back in perspective. Fact is I did not get offered the work, reason is that they wanted skills I don't have and they should have been advertising for those skilss.

Best is I did not hurt anyone including me and I did not pick up. I need to get to a few meetings though.

So onward and upward and I get to work on releasing my anger and dealing with my fear.

My thanks for your support.

Kevin

Nogard, Keep the faith. Something good will come your way.
Glad you didn't drink. I can tell you 1st hand it does not change a thing.

(((Kevin))) it's real early here, I'm typing this with tears..what a RELIEF that you did the right thing. Please keep talking doing what you're doing to keep on the straight path, WE all know what happens if you stray off it, and WE all know how hard it is to get back on it.....not worth the risk, just not. Making ourselves sick never once solved anything, not once. I hope you sleep well, you'll be waking up so grateful you didn't let the beast snag you. I'm thanking my HP right now for helping you.

So happy you're feeling a bit better, I'm with Janet, keep the faith, something will come along soon.

Much love....Denise

Remember........If you win the rat race, your still a rat. Im glad you didnt pick up

Again Kevin...Inspiration....Inspiration....Inspiration. The Job wasnt right for you, not your problem, but thiers, You might feel angry if you went to the interview under the influence!! That would be a completly different matter. Keep at it Kev. You know it makes sense
Dave

kev, glad you didnt pick up mate, that is a lovely birthday present for me.

tomorrow is another and better day hey
hugs to you
kath

((((((((((Kevin)))))))))))) 5 months ago I was unemployed. I applied for approximately 80 different jobs and went to over 30 interviews. It was extremely difficult, and you can bet I screwed up more than once. But I made it through sober. Thing is, there are always going to be situations that happen which make us want to use. It is GOING to happen. Each time we make it through a situation like that it makes us a little bit stronger to deal with the next one. Sounds like you did just what you needed to do!!!

I'm glad you are feeling better. Hang in there.......

Thinking of you--
Hugs--

Just hold on and don't drink over this because then you will feel even worse.
The right job is heading your way. Don't lose faith no matter how bad it may seem. Everything will work itself out. If you struggle to believe that now, then just believe that I believe. :)

I love you Kev and I hope you are feeling better soon!

(((Kevin))) Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe God has something bigger for you!