Dan,

I Believe The Move Was Made For Going To College.


Chris

Yep, she did.
But I read this too...
I related to that because I had some attempts with geographical relocation.
And I think it's cool that Susan is maybe starting to see things need to change within.

Dan,

Ooops Missed That.
Darn Shame I Didn't Even Make The Attempt To Get Sober That, Susan And These Young Men And Women Are Doing.

I just woke up all hungover. I missed school today and my doctors appointment. I can't believe I drank. I thought that things were going to be different this time. I felt I had got honest with myself, worked step one, and had entered into the gateway of recovery. Last night I was sad thinking about drinking then the next minute pounding down a 12pk. I am so disgusted with myself today! It wasn't worth it at all. Today I feel like crap have neglected my responsibilities and still feel the same way or worse than I did last night. I am not going to give up no matter what. I want this so bad and I will not let alcohol destroy my life. Maybe this is what I needed to do to apply the program more vigoroursly in my life. I feel so broken this afternoon and ashamed. Reading these last threads you all have wrote make me realize that people sincerely care. That makes the loneliness less intense because I can only imagine if there wasn't SR how lonely I would feel then. Thank you all so much! I am moved and strengthened by your kind words. I have got today hopefully the first day of the rest of my life... With lots of love, Susan

Yeah, no one tells us after we've done it that a geographical move is not going to work. There are resources out there. Just have to want to find them bad enough, lonliness? Nope not anymore, how? Meetings and facing fears, slowly you can make it happen to.

Susan, first let me say that I fully understand what you were saying regarding meetings in Beckley. I went to one there when I was back home a few weeks ago, and those rooms are nothing like the ones I've found here in C'ville. If I had tried recovery in Beckley, knowing me, I would have said "**** this" and walked away. There are things to do there to keep yourself distracted in a positive manner, you just have to look a little harder because, as I'm sure you've noticed, Beckley is a bit of a hole. There are meetings in Lewisburg, it's probably worth the hour drive. I haven't been to one there (probably will hit one soon when I have to make another trip to WV), but I know the people of Lewisburg, and I'd say you'll find better vibes there. Check your PM's, I'll hit you with a little additional info. Stay strong, I know it's hard at times, especially in a place like Beckley, where it seems there's nothing to do BUT drink and get high, but if you look hard there are good people there, and good places to go to keep yourself focused on staying cleaN and sober while still having a good time. I may be making a trip back there either one day later this week or possibly on SUnday night (have to go all the damn way to WV to take my kids back to my ex wife).

OK, now check your PM. I was a bit wordier than I meant to be with that message (Moontime knows how I ramble for 20 minutes on a 1 minute topic :wink3: )

Ha!! no your not rambling, get it out of your head, no matter what it is..... Liveat5 is a miracle!! I remember his first day at an NA meeting I took him to it, and he hasn't looked back since. If this crazy mo'fo can get clean, I know anybody out there has a chance. :-) j/k Tony!

SUSAN,

YOU CAN START BY EMPTYING OUT YOUR MAIL BX IF YOU WANT TO PM ON HERE. lol HOPE ALL IS WELL. DIDN'T KNOW BOUT YOUR B/F OVER IN IRAQ. HAVE YOU HEARD FROM HIM?


CHRIS


PS WE CAN BE ALONE, THE CHOICE TO B LONELY IS YOURS. YOU GOT A BOARD FULL OF GOOD PEOPLE REACHING OUT TO YOU:)

No kidding there, if I can do it, anybody can. I threw away everything of value in favor of drugs and alcohol, and smiled about it the whole time thinking it was the right choice. So yes, if I can do it, anyone can. It's just at what point does one say "oh crap, I've destroyed my life for this?" That's a key factor in getting the desire for me (among many other factors, but we needn't go into the scary part of it...)

And every day I thank God that luck brought you along when I needed you the most. J, you (and the rest of the C'ville crew) have been one of the biggest miracles of my life, and if it weren't for good friends and folks like y'all, I'd have taken things to a level I don't want to think about again. Y'all are the miracles, those who bring the message to those who need it the most, and right in the nick of time, no less.

Well credit goes to the god of our understanding. He saw fit to speak through me to reach you. We are the vessells of the powerful message, that an addict, any addict can stop using lose the desire to use and find a new way to live, that no longer the addict need die to the horrors of active addiction. There is a new way of life, the NA way of life.

I gotta stop forgetting to give credit where credit is due :wink3:

Hey Chris, Scott and I aren't together anymore and no I haven't heard from him. Being in a relationship was to hard for him while over there. He has 4 more years also being deployed 7 months out of the year, so the relationship was unrealistic. It was a mutal break up, although I still love him very much. I emptied my pm so you can send messages now. Last night just reassured me that drinking is NOT what I want to do anymore. I need to start thinking more positively about myself and my recovery. I think at times that I will never get it, but I'll be damned to quit trying. I believe everything happens for a reason... So I will keep trudging one day at a time

You aren't by any chance one of the two girls that helped me find a meeting in Beckley one night when it wasn't at the church where it was supposed to be? If so, I owe you some thanks for that. I had given up on finding that meeting.

Yo inbox is full :funjump: :smokin: :smurf:

I made room... hit me back!

((Susan))

Night is hardest for me too. In fact, it's the only time I really want to drink.

I need to get a handle on that.

Susan,
How are you doing????
I'll be here early morning and later in the evening if you want to talk....
Pm me if you want to talk.....
Hugs,
Cindy

Susan

Oh my gosh, I know that feeling. Waking up and thinking WTF!?!

You have a great attitude, you CAN do it.

Don't underestimate the power and necessity of a program of recovery. No one has to do this on their own.

Good luck and keep posting, ok.

You can do it.

Cathy31
x

Susan, I wanted to bring some of your previous posts back today....
Look at all the understanding and love for you....
The more you write the better you understand yourself, too.
Give up the guilt and come back , please....
Love and support are waiting for you here....
Cindy........