Drank last night, and feeling ashamed right now
 

Hi everyone. I drank last night and a couple of times before that. I got drunk, and went on FB. I don't remember contacting a friend, but I see that I have a message waiting from her. I hope I didn't say something stupid, I am a bit worried I because I was drunk, and don't remember. And I have done this in the past and have said some crazy stuff. I also was feeling so lonely, and the alcohol made me so awful, I felt like killing myself earlier today, but I am feeling better now, I don't want to kill myself anymore. The loneliness was unbearable, I felt like I was on a deserted island like in the move Cast Away with Tom Hanks. Also couldn't sit still all day, had to keep walking it was just impossible for me to sit down, and could barely eat anything.

I just wanted to confess to you all about this, I feel so ashamed, I just don't know why I put myself through this?

Hi Whopper,

I am so glad you are here tonight. I am sorry you are struggling right now. Is there anyone you can call to talk to? Keep posting here if you’re feeling lonely. Also, if you’re having thoughts about harming yourself again, head to the ER, don’t hesitate.

❤️ Delilah

I'm glad you made it back here Whopper.
its been a couple of years since you've posted, how's your recovery been?

Its time to do something different, yeah? :)

D

It's not necessary that you know why you put yourself through this. If that statement is actually just meant to tell us you are miserable, I understand, but whether you understand why or you do this or don't, the "cure" is always the same. Stop drinking. That turned out to be what I needed to do, while I wasted years of pondering "Why?" before I took care of the problem. Then the why's became apparent.

Right now you need to figure out what you need to do to stop, what to avoid, how to handle cravings. What is your plan? I can tell you why you do this to yourself right now, but it won't help one bit. You are addicted to a highly addictive substance. But what are you going to do? How are you going to do it? I can't stress enough that this should be your focus.

I can relate as dud exactky the same thing on saturdsy night. I'm utterly mortified embarrassed ashamed etc and just trying to ensure it wont happen again. That's all we can do

Hi Dee. I've been doing well until now. Managed to stay away from alcohol and things got better. I made it through my DUI charge in 2019, had a parent die, and the COVID lockdown. It was alot to go through. But it was my birthday recently, so I thought I could handle some drinks, but apparently not. I slept okay last night, just drinking water right now, and battling anxiety along with trying to sit still. My lonely feelings are going away, but still having some anxiety. The alcohol made my mental health really go down, and I plan on staying away from alcohol.

Two quotes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous come to mind:

(1) "'I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?' Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you."

(2) "Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it."

I have come to believe that there is a type of alcoholic for whom the only solution is complete submission to the recovery program of A.A. -- and I am one of those types. Feel free PM me if you want to chat more about that..

Great way to get back on track, yesterday was yesterday and today is a new day without mistakes. Thank you for sharing your life with us

Im so sorry youre feeling so sad. Sending you whatever good vibes and hugs I can. I know that I've drank because I was depressed and holy mosses did it make me so much worse. It definitely helps to think on when ive been tempted, my alcoholoc voice tells me that alcohol will help and then I laugh because I say, remember? Remember how I thought it would help and it literally made it worse?? Like our friend above said, I had to try something different, I hope you find your something different too.

Keep posting! It helps me when we can connect on these stories, i appreciate it. We want to hear about whats working and what isn't working, even if its just a sentence to say Go Me I didnt drink last night even though it was hard! Or to tell us about a good vapid tv series you binged or some really good new chip flavor.

all the best!!

The positive thing is that you're back here.
Don't worry too much about what was said - I know that's easy for someone else to say - but things are never as bad as they seem with things like that.
I've been where you are many times and I've learned that you cannot change the past - you can only do your best to make the present and the future better.

Whopper, I'm glad to see you back. I hope you are able to let go of the shame and begin to move forward. It was my experience, that being stuck in shame, led me back to drinking. You can get past this and move on with your recovery.

There is a solution 🙏

Don't be so hard on yourself.Getting sober is a process. Make a recovery plan and tweak it as you go along. Keep what works and get rid of what doesn't. When the witching hour comes, and it will come, know what you will do in place of caving in and drinking. Having a drinking problem doesnn't make you a bad person. You are wired differently from 90% of the population. All you need to do in the beginning is be willing and I can see from your post that you are indeed wiling. Good luck to you on your sober journey!

Hi everyone. I'm feeling a bit better tonight, anxiety has dropped down to a low level. It's getting easier to eat food again, and I can sit still again. Just feeling a bit depressed and lonely right now, it comes and goes in waves, but it's getting better.

good to hear Whopper :)
The really good thing is you never have to feel this way again :)

D

Good day, I feel physically better, but not mentally. I still feel alone, tired of living alone as a loner, I can only take so much. I also checked my FB, and I didn't say anything crazy, so I okay there.

Feeling the same as yesterday. I have no life and it makes me want to drink.

Whopper, try to be patient. It takes some time for things to change. What can you do to help yourself feel better? Can you get outside and go for a walk, or call a friend to meet up for coffee, listen to some music, anything that helps you to feel better today?

I have to take my mother to a doctor's appointment, and then go grocery shopping. I don't even feel like eating anything. Maybe talk with my FB friend.

Then tonight I have to spend watching tv with my mother. This has been my life for the last 3yrs and I am tired of it.