Would you drink if your days were numbered?
 

I'm probably going to be murdered soon. I'm on Antabuse but if won't take it from tomorrow and I'll get drunk next Saturday if I'm still alive. What's the point in being sober if I'm just going to die soon anyway. I might go to the shop tomorrow early and buy mouthwash and have a tiny bit. Three or so units won't trigger the Antabuse.

I'm 108 days which is the longest I've managed. Maybe it'd be better to die sober, I don't know. What would you do if there was a conspiracy to murder you? Would you drink? Or if you had a terminal illness?

Hi FF

If you scroll down to the Best of Sober Recovery forum, right at the bottom of all the other forums, you can find threads by people like Gilmer and Robby Robot who, even tho they faced a terminal illness, stayed sober.

You and I and the many hundreds of others here who deal with other illnesses- physical and/or mental - are very fortunate that the conditions we face are not terminal - we can do something about them, and manage them well.

Drinking is not the answer to your problem, but neither is doing nothing and hoping the problem goes away.

please unburden yourself - tell your doctors the full story about the voices, what they’re saying and how often you have to struggle with them.

You deserve a happy life.
Get some help FF.

D

No, I would rather die on my feet facing death than with my back turned or on my knees before king alcohol.

I remember early on telling my sponsor I think I can stay sober but... if I end up in a nursing home I can't just sit there and do sing a longs, I think I may just drink my days out once I'm 80 or so. I can't remember exactly but I think he said something like we can worry about that when you are 80, let's just get through today.

I wrestle with that what will I do when I'm old thing to be honest. Even though I think I got off to a great start in recovery my thinking was screw it I will probably drink when I'm old. As my recovery grows the case for living out my days sober gets stronger. I know I could just drink my days out but I begin to ask the question why? Why do I have to drink just because I think I will die soon. There is much just to observe and appreciate in life. If I get to be 80 I will worry about it then. I don't need to drink right now.

What if someone isn't trying to murder you? What if you don't die? Mine as well stay sober. Drinking can and will put you in a worse spot.

I want to die with a clear mind and heart. Drinking clouds my mind and heart. I don't want to take that energy with me to whatever comes next (even if it's nothing), so I won't drink. Being present to everything in my life, even the bad things, is too precious to me to want to block out with alcohol.

FF- We all hear you and that you are suffering. I am sorry you are suffering. There are tools and resources available to you to guide you in the right direction. Tools and resources to stop the voices or to at least help them to be quieter, minimal, etc. It has been encouraged many many many times for you to speak with your doctor about these voices. They have nothing good to say and they are doing you more harm than good. Have you spoken with your doctor about the voices yet? Why would you not tell them if you haven't already told them?

No, I would not drink If my days were numbered. I would spend my numbered days talking to my loved ones, seeing things I have not seen, absorbing information, spreading joy and love, smelling the flowers......etc.

Been through at least a few relapses. IMO a person has not really defeated booze if they think what if's that will allow them to start drinking again.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record. Maybe focus on healthy things instead of just not drinking.

Feel like AA and other programs focus so much on not drinking. More time should be dedicated to diet, exercise, supplements and even working on hobbies.

If you stop drinking but don’t get proper diet, sleep and exercise you won't feel better physically or mentally.

No, absolutely not. I would want to spend the best time as possible with my family and friends and not miss a moment due to alcohol.

Please don’t drink, freedomfries; alcohol has the very real potential to make things much worse for you.

I am sorry that you are suffering.

I most certainly would NOT drink, no matter what. I don't want to go back to that hell for any reason.

Absolutely would not drink. It makes everything worse - physically, mentally and emotionally. What a horrible way to go.

And as far as being 80, lol.. my mom and stepfather drank very little and were still traveling internationally in their 80's and both lived into their mid-90's.

The sober life is the good life, friends.

Would you drink if your days were numbered?

Everybody's days are numbered. No one is guaranteed tomorrow.

I only have today. And I choose sober.

^^^^ this!

I heard in a meeting this man talking about him NOT making any reservations to drink. He explained ….even IF he lost his job, even IF his Mom died, you get the idea. That was the first time I heard the phrase … The No Matter What Club.

I am a member. Even WHEN my brother died a violent death, even WHEN his son died a tragic death involving himself & a deer on a country road. No.Matter.What.

💙💙
Bobbi

We are all going to die FF. Nobody makes it out alive. But whether I have 30 years left or 1 day, I will spend all of those days in my right mind.

Bud, I'm sure you are not going to be murdered in the next week, so PLEASE don't drink.

I would not drink in any circumstance, my sobriety is that important to me. As a side note, any measurable amount of alcohol is enough to trigger your Antabuse so I would recommend against that.

FF, I am worried about you. Have you talked to the doctor about the voices yet? They seem to be getting worse.

I am really glad you came here and posted about how you’re feeling, that tells me you don’t really want to drink, you’ve put together a good deal of sober time, and that’s great. You just need to work with your doctor to try to get the voices under control.

Im thinking about you, and sending you so much love!

Nope.. I'd spend my time/energy and fortify my defenses to make absolute for sure I couldn't be 'murdered'.

Difference between dry and sober.

Dry means you’re not drinking right now.

Sober means you won’t fall off the wagon when something triggers you.

No....it's created enough chaos in my life already x

My days ARE numbered. All of our days are. I would drink iced tea with a little bit of lemonade.

I view drinking as a complete waste of time. And I would want to make the most of the time I had left. I would want to be present for my kids. So they could ask any questions of me. So I could share what I think is most important for them.

I think you’ll see by the responses here FF. That most of us don’t see drinking as a treat anymore. Or something that we’re missing out on. I used to tell
myself that I would stay sober until I retire, then I could drink again, maybe until I died. But no more. I don’t want it. Do sometimes I crave it and want to check out, honestly yes. But if my days were numbered, I would want to be sober as a gopher for every minute if it.