I used to go to these giant fellowship halls in the big cities but I only sought out a handful of people to hang with. Folks with some sobriety under their belt who held jobs and who were generally the type of people I hoped to become. That's not to say that I shunned others but I basically looked for friends who had what I wanted. We'd go to coffee after the meetings; hit an occasional movie together; drive up the coast to a nice restaurant for breakfast; etc. Quality time with over-comers and joyful people.

I recommend reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It completely changed how I view alcohol.

I have now been happily sober for almost 2 years.

The hard thing is realizing that some people can enjoy alcohol and not suffer a lot of consequences from it. This it's not like that for alcoholics. We were not dealt the same hand in life. We suffer greatly from drinking. It's not just a laughable moment the next day for doing something stupid. It takes over our lives and eventually destroys us leaving us crippled and suffering.

The hard thing is realizing other people can, but we can't and never will. But realistically. Many people can do far more things that we will never do, and we don't lose sleep over it. It's kind of silly to miss out on something as useless as consuming alcohol. Think about that. We blow the need to drink all out of proper proportion. This is what addictions do to people. Once you accept this after a long period of sobriety, you will look back at this silly need and shake your head wondering why you ever thought it was important.

I should add that the above is describing early sobriety. I basically sought out good examples of what I had hoped to become. Later, as I matured in sobriety, I literally sought out folks who I felt I could be a good example to and help in some way. We get what we give!!

The way I look at giving up alcohol was that I had a set number of lifetime drinks as a "normal drinker" and I blew past that a long time ago.

As others said, its a matter of perspective. If someone walked into a bar and saw me drinking for the first couple of hours that would probably think I was a "normal drinker" having a few after a hard days work. If they came back after closing time, they would see me slamming shots with the bartenders at 4am in the morning, which is not what a normal drinker does.

I also did things and got away with stuff that a normal drinker probably has never dealt with. Way too many broken promises, missed days of work, emotional outbursts, hooking up with strangers etc. Thats out of control behavior that, quite frankly, I was lucky to get away with. I did so much more ******** than any "normal drinker" that I think its fair to accept that I "had my fun" and now its time to move on.

Life is about evolving, learning, and growing. Life has stages to it. We learn what we need to in a stage, and then we move on to the next one. Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly from egg, to caterpillar, to pupa, to butterfly.

To paraphrase: I feel like I gave up absolutely nothing by cutting out diapers and moving into big boy pants and the exclusion of diapers is nothing but positive. :biggrin:

For me it was like a relationship that was too good to leave but too bad to stay. I definitely grieved during my first attempt at quitting. After that I recognised it for the evil that it was. A bad relationship that was slowly killing me and since then I've been trying hard to get away from it. I have no rose coloured glasses wrt drinking any more. It will kill me if I start again. I will drink myself to death. It's now my worst enemy and I recognised it as such.

I think that is part of making recovery easier. When the misery becomes so bad, you have greater incentive to quit, and the joy of sobriety is greater. It almost sounds like I'm saying, "Don't bother quitting until you can't take it anymore." I don't mean that, and I'm all for quitting sooner than later. And it's easier to quit sooner when the addiction isn't as strong, but a lot of us think we are still having fun at that stage. The disease is strange indeed.