Well, I found a way to remain sober...
 

And that is to be so damn tired, hungry and exhausted that drinking doesn't enter the thought process. Only eating and sleep at the moment is what sounds good to me. I find it a daily challenge and its sometimes painful, but kind of fun. My entire life is upside down right now. But I have committed to push through it, if that makes any sense.

Nothing wrong with hard work but I hope things settle down & balance out a bit Jeff - and that your resolve not to drink remains the same :)

D

To say that my life is upside down right now is probably not fair. Its not upside down, its just different. Busy, and a good busy.

Hey Jeff,

Sounds like you're still sober? That's good.

Exhaustion is an ok strategy for starters, but it's not really sustainable as a long term strategy.

What are you doing extra or upside down to help your self, the true you on the inside?

O

LOL....This eventually needs to stop....I know for me it is very hard for me to "sit with myself and my thoughts" so I tend to over do it....
But, if this is working for you right now...I say whatever works. :)

I hope you get used to the new, busy life, Jeff. I'm glad you're doing well.

Yes, I am sober and its great. I have said before that I really like being sober but I have demons, and sometimes the demons win. I'm in a different place right now and its a good place, very challenging, but probably considered "normal" by most standards.

That's excellent - the sober part. :)

And yes, I remember your demons well. They look a lot like mine. They needn't win anymore, you know. (You used current/future tense, and that's concerning.) But they are not likely to stay away unless you do something to address them. Well, at least that's my experience and seems to be yours too. I know this may be annoying, but I'm going to continue to suggest that you get additional help. SR has been an invaluable resource in my recovery, but I firmly believe I wouldn't be where I am today without the right therapist, medication, reading (esp Lance Dodes "The Heart of Addiction) and - gasp! - the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I gasp at the last because it's been very very difficult to find my place there. And doing just that was key - I needed to be true to myself within that group of people who are infuriatingly human sometimes. Just like I am. :)

I'm not saying you need AA; I'm saying you may benefit from it. Nor am I saying you need therapy though from where I sit it sure looks like you'd be able to find a hell of a lot of growth and relief with the right guy (or gal). That's my experience, anyhow. As a fellow survivor of my family of origin and other childhood terrors including lifelong anxiety and depression, I firmly believe I would've likely ended up dead long before my time if I hadn't worked through those things with a good therapist. I want that freedom for you too, Jeff. It's really a pain in the rear end to have to do these things that "normal" people don't need to do, but here we are. At least here I am. Those demons aren't likely to ever go away completely, but I can learn to coexist peacefully with them. So can you.

O

(Does it go without saying "or else?")

Have you turned off your craving for alcohol in favor of starving yourself? Because that's no good. You have to eat.
You find it a daily challenge to not eat or sleep, yet find it kind of fun?

Okay, that's just disturbing.

Have you discussed this with anyone? Because I think you should. It's alarming.

I'm really hoping that I've misunderstood your post ...

I did see a therapist this spring for awhile and it helped my mental health by leaps and bounds. I plan to return. In time.

I think maybe you misunderstood my post. I started a new job after not working for almost 5 years. Its a bit physically demanding and I come home tired and hungry and it feels good. I'm adjusting to the new workload and it leaves me pretty exhausted by weeks end. I'm not starving myself or denying myself sleep at all. I see good things in my future if things continue this way.

Glad you are back working Jeff--I know being unemployed was a terrible stress for you.
You are doing the next right thing, and then the next.

That's a string of wins, or as they say in the vernacular, a winning streak :)

Thanks Hawkeye, encouragement means a lot to me right now.

I applaud you for the strides you are making and for your ability to take in constructive criticism. I’m learning a lot by following your journey. So much gratitude to you today.

Keeping busy is great Thomas but watch you don't over do things. Self-care is so important and getting the balance right. Sounds like you are doing a great job at staying sober though......good for you :c011: