Thread of Tiny Positive Things We Notice in Sobriety
 

Hello everyone.

For a couple of days now I've had the idea of making this "Thread of Tiny Positive Things We Notice in Sobriety" just to counteract the devastation brought by alcohol. In my not-particularly-systematic observations of posts in the Newcomers' section, I notice that we, the addicts, provide far more detailed accounts of things that have gone horribly wrong in our drinking/drugging, than we do with respect to things that go right in our sobriety. It's like there are two sub-genres in the general recovery discourse - one for relapses/picking up a drink/getting ********* and one for positive milestones. In the 'relapses' genre we find (fairly) detailed accounts of negative emotions, physical states etc, in the milestones sub-genre we find run-of-the-mill "Keep at it!". Don't get me wrong, the "Keep at it!" works if you're already somewhat set on what you're keeping "at". I fear, however, that it doesn't do much for the brandnewcomers?

Or, think of it as a courtroom drama where you're supposed defend Sobriety, who is wrongfully accused of being "mundane, repetitive, plain boring, without excitement" etc - the usual fare that powers the AV to obtaining a conviction or getting consecutive plea deals for "just one more drink".

Sobriety is a necessary condition for recovery, but it's not a sufficient one. In other words, recovery requires sobriety, but sobriety is not the only thing that is needed for recovery. Hence this thread of Tiny Positive Things :)

For example. I started doing translation work when I was still drinking 14 months ago. It was rough going, I made lots of mistakes, got taken to task for it a lot and also forgot even the simplest things right after doing them. A few days ago, the person who provides me with work told me that he "no longer really checks my work". This could have easily flown under the radar for me, but it didn't. It was a TPT (Tiny Positive Thing :P) that put "one in the win column for Sobriety".

Did you .... finally clean your room? Stopped sweating profusely and at all the wrong times? Didn't vomit or dry-heave in the shower in the morning? Heck, took a shower this morning or the past few mornings on the regular? Brushed your teeth? Had breakfast and felt better afterwards? Learned a new recipe? Didn't stub your toe on the coffee table stumbling around drunk? Watched a movie and remembered it later on? Could keep down an entire meal (that you yourself prepared from scratch)? Felt like you still had energy after a day of work? Found work? Got along with colleagues better? Someone smiled at you and you noticed (and smiled back)? Got a pat on the back for a job well done? You actually showed up for work? Didn't call in sick because you're hungover? Were feeling sick, told someone, and didn't feel guilty because it was true? Didn't scam a family member/spouse/anyone out of money for booze or cigarettes? Finally decided to buy that X (computer game, phone, dress, jacket, pair of shoes, chocolate cookies) for yourself? Decided to do something and did it? Openly admitted to being wrong? Apologised and sincerely meant it? Took your prescribed medication ...as prescribed? Noticed that you no longer needed a sleeping aid? Woke up only twice during the night? Woke up only once? Slept through the entire night and woke up well-rested? Woke up and didn't dread the day ahead? Noticed that a bird is singing and liked it? Saw a patch of flowers and it made you smile? Wanted to fuss about something, but didn't? Wanted to tell someone off, but managed to exert control? Didn't send a text at 3 am? Didn't post incoherent messages on social media? Realised that you "actually like" something?

Just as active addiction can be a laundry list of 'small' horrors that build into big ones, the opposite laundry list of positives occurs in sobriety if you're active and pay attention ;)

What was your TPT today?

I remembered my night last night. ☺️🤟

Fantastic OP, Kk1k5x. One of my TPT's today, was purchasing and administering flea treatment between the shoulder blades of my two beloved dogs, in peak flea season in my part of the world. I failed to do so last year, as I drank again after two and a half years, thus neglecting my dogs. So very glad that I'm now carrying out my sobriety TPT dog duties. Thanks for the thread!

What a great thread! I look forward to the responses and look forward to adding my own.

There are so many things....too many to count...I have been sober for a great deal of time (over 9 years) and I have been drunk for a great number more...about 32 years....presently on and off drunk/sober...I just had almost 2 weeks but drank last night.

But in the 2 weeks that I was NOT drinking...I was able to maintain the cleanliness of MYSELF and my house inside and out.
Communicate on a better level with those I communicate with.
Felt overall more healthy....slept better....smiled more.

This may sound a bit silly, but I cooked and baked loads of stuff throughout the weekend. As I retire for the night, I can proudly say that the kitchen is spotlessly clean. Many other things, but as I’m sitting here, this is the one that was nearest to my mind.

Waking up every day and running 4 to 6 miles....you don't want to do that with a hangover!! It is the small changes that add up to one big one. One day at a time! Great post BTW. Thank you!

Waking up feeling good. :) That never gets old. :) And seeing Billie's sweet face first thing is just wonderful. :)

Always having my wits about me, never losing my edge or the plot!

Agree, it never gets old :)

Good stuff :) So far we have:
*Remembering yesterday
*Proper care of our pets
*Keeping ourselves and our living space clean
*Smiling more
*Communicating on a better level
*Spotless kitchen after a weekend of industrial-level cooking and baking
*Running without a hangover
*Waking up with a good feeling
*Having one's wits about them at all times
*Staying sharp and on point

I will add from today - understanding that dips in motivation happen, and there are non-destructive ways to overcome it, e.g. watching a Liam Neeson action movie :P.

Keep them coming :)

Which one? He's a very likable actor I think.


*Getting a good night's sleep.

Taking care of little things that I'd blow off due to lack of energy or just being too drunk to care.

For example, I keep my car clean. I throw away any litter inside and I vacuum it every week or two. There are dozens of similar things I do or don't do now that make everyday life a lot more pleasant.

Biggie for me: *Not embarrassed and guilty about anything I said or did last night.

kk, once again I have to say you have a genius level way of putting to words things that most of us can't really even grab as they fly by. :)

I would say my TPT is the ability to pause. Taking a beat when something comes up that would have sent me spinning when I drank. The "Pause" button was non-existent for me in my drinking days. If I thought it I did it. Now I can observe thoughts and decide if they are something worth keeping. Most of my thoughts were complete junk in the beginning. I was totally depressed and unable to deal with any of life. Everything was Too Much.

Now I see most things as transitory and meaningless. Especially the things other people say that used to set me off. Now I look at their words, actions and thoughts as THEIRS. Nothing to do with me. I am the only one who can decide how things affect me - or if they affect me.

I guess those aren't tiny things but they are elusive and unknowable when drinking.

Not waking up with deep anxiety about what happened during last night's blackout

I greet my daughter every morning with a smile...and it's not even fake!

My TPT for today:
It's Monday. I didn't spend yesterday drinking and dreading work today. Sundays used to be such a mess, and therefore, Mondays usually were.

Here's another one:
I just checked my credit rating. Still going up. Bills are paid on time and in full. I had the money before (usually) but just couldn't be bothered to take time out to sit down and do the responsible thing.

The flowers I planted at the end of May are beautiful. And, every single time I look at them, I smile.

Confidence. Loads of it. Not living life in perpetual anxiety.

My TPT today is my Monday mornings - laundry folded and put away, shopping done, house clean and ready for the week. I still cannot get used to how good that feels waking up Monday mornings to that. Monday mornings used to promise nothing but a fresh new hell to endure.

Awesome post kk1k5x!!! I could list a million TPT's.