Please help
 

I drank last night. I have no idea what I did.
I drank a bit this morning and had to work today so I was still drunk.
I'm so ashamed. I work a call centre on the weekend so i saw the calls i took and had to call them all back this afternoon and ask them who they were and what we talked about because I couldn't remember. 1 call was anonymous and one I had to leave a message but I'm scared guys. I'm so so scared.
this is my lowest low.
I also messaged people last night and don't know what it was about.
I'm shaking and crying and scared.

I call/text people all the time when I am drunk. I am an epic bulls
*******that spews nothing but nonsense. I am astonished sometimes at the drivel I come up with. The problem is when I sober up and try to remember what I was on about. I think most of here can relate.













You are an alcoholic and that comes with the territory. I screwed up work a few times. Don't worry about one bad day. Besides, everyone is distracted by the Coronavirus and the coming apocalypse.

Hi AR

From your last thread, looks to me like you were worried about not working and you let that fear grow.

I know it’s hard to deal with fear, but if your only tool for dealing with fear is still alcohol the outcome is set.

You need more tools AR. Any ideas?

You can't change the past, but you can change the future. It's time to stop, don't you think?

yes. I've been saying that for years.

I have no ideas but in willing to try anythin .

Also I took .5mg ativsn but puked it up. Not sure if I should take anothe .

I don't think it's any secret what I advocate.

Its the only thing that has ever worked for me long term.

Previous runs at sobriety never stuck for me either.

I think we all have to realize at some point that sobriety in and of itself is not the complete answer for everyone.

Some get sober, wobble around for a month or two but eventually straighten up and fly right.

Some people, and I was one of them, have to be prepared to do a lot more than just not drink.

From my observations, it's about a 50/50 split.

I really recommend plans
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html

I also recommend that you see your Dr - sounds like you need some help right now with your anxiety.


However badly you want to, don't buy anymore booze.

Booze may feel like it's helping anxiety but in reality its very hot and moss, very short term and it leaves you not only with the anixety you started with but also the added anxiety of wanting to drink more.

Commit to posting here instead of drinking.
Post here before you take that drink.

check out on line meetings of AA SMART etc. You don't have to leave you house and you can log off anytime.

The more other tools you have for dealing with life, the least you need to turn to alcohol.

D

thanks dee. I have been seeing my doctor for anxiety as its been bad. But I do need more help and thanks why I post here often.
my heart is beating so fast and i puked up a bit of blood as I'm guessing I puked too much today.
I'm just shaking as I'm so scared. Definitely won't be buying more.

And now of course I'm so sick over this and anxious and cant sleep. I think I ****** myself over with this one.

I just did this to myself 3 weeks ago. I hate myself, guys. I hate who and what I am.

Just let the chips fall where they may anxiousrock and get on with job of being sober. Nothing else matters. You can make amends later. :)

no. This is my job. My livelihood. I told myself I'd never let this get to my job but I did. I hardly ever drink and I've been trying to stay sober but I didn't. Amends wouldn't even be enough. I really screwed myself.

I used to hate myself. I wanted to be dead.

I quit drinking, a lot happened, and now I don't hate myself.

A lot happened, but nothing happened at all until I quit drinking.

Get some help, AR.

I want help. I need to help myself. I need this.

I even talked to my parents drunk. I'm sure they knew too. That I was working drunk. I think last night i may have called people from my work and I have no idea.

Do your employers know you were intoxed anxiousrock?

At this point I am not sure of anything.