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Haven’t posted in a while i just realized I’m closing in on 9 months sober. Things are mostly good. I have a lot going on with my aging mom and her house, but I’m handling it. Sometimes I think I want a drink — the urge just creeps in at unexpected times. I guess I had hoped that my AV would be a thing of the past after all this time, but it’s fine. AV can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do, and I don’t want to screw up my life by drinking, so I don’t. If the urge hits, I hop on my mountain bike, walk the dog, go to the gym, hit the bookstore, or take my kid to the park to catch some Pokémon. It works every single time. Anyway, Mr. Bonnie has about one month of sobriety now. His drinking has been a very huge difficulty for me. I tried not to go on about it too much, but sitting here watching him drink while I couldn’t was a painful thing to endure and made my early sobriety months so hard. But I learned to deal with it, didn’t nag him about it, just quietly did my thing. Then about a month ago he dumped out his wine and scotch, and that was it. No discussion, just stopped. I know better than to get my hopes up about his long term sobriety because I’ve stopped and and started so many times, but I’m just glad that he’s sober right now and he’s trying. He hasn’t been much fun, which is understandable. We don’t go out at all lately, but it’s cool. He hits the gym in the evening instead of pouring a drink, then we hang out and rewatch tv shows that we barely remember because we had previously watched them while drinking. We now drink a lot of La Croix. So that’s my update; I just wanted to check in, say hi and let you guys know that I’m still hanging in there . :) |
I'm so glad you posted!! I was legitimately thinking about you the other day and almost sent you a message asking how you were. Glad you are still sober and making things work. And glad your husband seems to be getting on board with that sober life. I also drink a ton of La Croix, haha. Good for you, Bonnie. I am so glad you are doing well. |
Thanks for the update. I'm so glad that your husband followed your example. |
Hey dpac, how are you doing? :) Thanks Anna! |
Congrats on 9 months sober! :scoregood Glad your hubby is following your example. :) |
Its great to hear from you BonnieFloyd - congrats on 9 months. I began to think the AV would never die either - but it did. Just took a little longer than I wanted. This is a great recent thread - worth a read:) https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...fade-away.html The fact it's still there is not necessarily a reflection on you or your programme IMO. Some of us drank for years. It takes a little time to grow and change :) D |
Congrats on 9 months, Bonnie! I’m glad you checked in. |
Hi Bonniefloyd, I am glad you posted. You have no idea how much you helped me in my early sobriety in the November 2018 class. Your words of encouragement will not be forgotten. I am glad your husband is not drinking. My wife still drinks. She is having a glass of wine right at this moment as a matter of fact. I really wish she would quit drinking but she never will. It does not in anyway trigger me to want to drink, I just think it would be nice if we were both non drinkers. A few months ago my wife told me she was feeling very depressed. I told her she should quit drinking and see a therapist. She did neither. She bought a bottle of wine two days after we talked. She told me "don't worry I feel much better, I finished a project at work and this is to celebrate." Then, about a month ago she was not feeling well in the morning after drinking. She told me she was going to not drink until her birthday, which was about two weeks away. She made it 3 days until she bought a bottle of wine. |
Hi Bonnie Nice to see you post, I did wonder where you had gone. I am so pleased to hear your still going strong and that your husband is now joining you as well. My av is also still lurking around but no where near as much as it did. Long as we don't act on it, it can't hurt us! :) |
Hey Rd! Good to see you still posting here. It would be great if the spouses could get and stay fully on board, wouldn’t it? Even if your wife doesn’t drink heavily, it isn’t doing anything for her, and it sure is nice not having booze around. I didn’t think my husband would ever stop drinking either. He refuses to follow another person’s lead on anything, he’s so set in his ways and stubborn, and he’s been drinking heavily his entire adult life. (He’s in his mid 50s now.) I think for me, accepting that my husband will never stop drinking was what it took for me to realize that I have to act as an individual and do this alone, for myself, never mind him or anyone else. I don’t know what spurred him into wanting a change. As far as I could tell, he was staunchly opposed to ever quitting alcohol until the day he poured it out. He’s commented about the positive changes he’s seen in me and has also expressed concerns about his long term health, so it’s probably a few things that finally motivated him. Also, we’ve had a few things happen that involved having to jump in the car and go, and thank god I was sober and able to step up. I think he felt crappy about not being able to do that. I encourage him when he brings it up, which isn’t often. Like when he mentioned wishing his La Croix were a glass of wine, I just said “6:00 am You will thank 6 pm You for drinking that La Croix instead of wine.” I got that line, or at least a version of it, from this forum. He liked it and has used it a few times. Other than that, he’s handling things on his own, just letting me know here and there how I can support him. Who knows if he’ll stick with it. It would be cool, but I don’t get overly invested in any particular outcome. Im trying to be realistic. And I’m afraid if I show him too much enthusiasm, I’ll scare him off. 😄 Anyway, maybe your wife will eventually want to ditch her wine for good. Maybe not. You’ve always had a really good attitude about your sobriety, and I bet she’s at least noticing this as a positive thing. |
Hey Kaily! Great to see you’re still doing well. How are the pups? Are you still walking a lot? I’m eagerly anticipating our first real cool front for the fall. So tired of being a sweaty mess every time I step outside. I’m looking forward to getting on some good hikes soon. |
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