Feel like I can't do this alone I first posted here over 5 years ago, I've known I've had a serious drinking problem for over 10 years now, and looking back I see I have had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol since I first tried it at 15 years old. I have a very supportive husband and 3 great kids. I've tried to recover on my own for awhile now, with varying success, I recently accomplished 6 months sober just to randomly pick up a drink and it was all downhill from there. I called my local AA office today and made plans with the person I spoke to about going to a very early meeting tomorrow. Ugh, I'm crying just thinking about it. Whatever comes out of it, it's just an incredible relief to be able to share with people who understand. But still, it is hard and a big step for me to ask for help (acknowledging I can't do this alone feels like a failure) Anyway, no real point to this really than to just ask for support. My husband knows I have a problem but I don't think he really understands how serious it is. Mainly b/c I have downplayed it. I'm just scared. |
All the best to you. At six months now I am also struggling and hanging on to sobriety by just biting the bullet. None of this is easy but I think we all know we have to do it. |
Hi! I think no one that does not have the problem will understand the extent of it. In retrospective, I think that you are actually in a good place, and that is great! You have a loving and supporting husband, and as you said, three great kids. Think about this: it really does not have to go lower than this. It really does not. You have asked for help and are willing to work on it. So I think everything it's on track despite the fact of having a long journey ahead. Try to be nice with yourself and congratulate you because of seeking help. You'll be awesome! |
Ok, I have to say I’m very impressed. The fact that you took the initiative to actually call AA and make plans to go to a meeting tomorrow is just incredible. That is probably the very best first step you could make. Your post is heartfelt and will resonate with a lot of people. We’re going to be pulling for you but we’re also going to watching for your posts. So don’t be dipping your toes into this sobriety thing, You have to jump in. It’s a drastic change in the way you live life. I am going through some tough times right now, but I tell you what I’m not going to do...and that is drink. I do it with AA, a great sponsor and the help of the SR boards. You can too. Welcome and good luck! |
Thank you all for your kind words. I just don't want to be the person that has to go to an AA meeting at 6am on a Wednesday. I am that person though. But I fight against it. I'm afraid I won't go. But I need to. I need help. But I don't want to be a person who needs help. |
Well done birdie you have taken steps to get the help and support that you need. No shame in that. Good luck at the meeting tomorrow. Come back and let us know how it went. :) |
Hey birdie, nobody wants to be a person who needs help, but we all are people who need help. Good luck to you. |
Hi I was like that before when going to AA, I kept thinking this isn’t me I shouldn’t be going here BUT it was what I had turned into, the person that definitely wasn’t me was the person getting drunk and being irresponsible and just thinking about drinking THAT person isn’t me, everyone in their life needs help at some point, there is no shame in asking for help, go along to the meeting you may be surprised how great you feel after good luck |
I didn't want to be that person who needed help, either. In fact, I fought it for ten years of trying to quit on my own. And let me tell you, those were ten miserable years. I finally called AA, too. It took me awhile to get it, but I finally dove in to the program. I was not drinking in no time. Of course it took work and wasn't easy, but this alcoholic has been saved a whole lot of misery thanks to AA and this place You can do it, too. There's no shame in admitting you have a problem. Good luck with the meeting, and we're all here for you too. |
t "
Originally Posted by ImNotThatGuy
(Post 7269978)
Hey birdie, nobody wants to be a person who needs help, but we all are people who need help. Good luck to you. |
I just wanted to thank you all for responding and for the support, I know I need to go to this meeting tomorrow and my husband will be totally supportive, I just don't know if I'm brave enough to go. I hope I am. I think I am. It is just so easy to not go.... To just go along with how things have been, no matter how crappy. It's just so very hard to make a change. |
Birdie, I too am very impressed that you’ve taken the leap and admitted you can’t do this on your own. VERY FEW people can. Even folks who post here as their only recovery work are still getting help. From us. But the vast majority of us, me included, can’t get and STAY sober with sr alone either. Most of us need some kind of face to face support. I did aa, and the steps, and now have sober friends I talk to every day. The cool part is those friends and I rarely talk about recovery itself anymore, our recovery has kind of moved on to just being besties who don’t drink. Do everything and anything now, throw **** to the wall and see what sticks. After a while, you’ll know what’s working for you and might be able to scale back. A solid recovery plan that you work with all of your heart will be a royal pain at first. But it will reward you with life itself. It’s completely worth it. You don’t ever have to relapse again. |
Birdie, if you think going to the meeting tomorrow is what you need to do, then go for it. Stopping drinking and recovering is the goal and there are lots of things you can do to achieve that. One of those things is coming here and reading and posting. Our member have lot of ideas about recovery and we offer lots of support. |
Originally Posted by birdie11
(Post 7269973)
Thank you all for your kind words. I just don't want to be the person that has to go to an AA meeting at 6am on a Wednesday. I am that person though. But I fight against it. I'm afraid I won't go. But I need to. I need help. But I don't want to be a person who needs help. |
Please go. |
Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery. I am only 8 days sober and I can identify with everything you have written. My wife doesn't really understand my alcoholism either. I guess you have to be an alcoholic to understand an alcoholic. That's why we all support each other through SR and meetings etc. I will add you to my prayers. 🙏 All the best to you! |
Fantastic start, Birdie! I can't wait to hear how it turns out. You can do it! You aren't promising anyone anything by going to a meeting. You are so wise to know you need help. |
Drastic moves ask for drastic measures. And quiting booze is a drastic measure feel me.. If a meering is what it takes to "get it" then so be it. We have this thing called pride. I had to throw pride and ego out The window. I was sick and I knew it. So I turned my focus to a power greater than me to pull me out of the vicious cycle. And then I took action. Its not about just quitting booze. It's staying sober thats the stickler. ✌ |
Good for you for taking the first steps! It is really hard at first, but it gets easier. I think a lot of us tried to do it alone at first. I tried for a long time and finally admitted I needed help. Best thing I ever did. Another way of looking at it might be that if you broke your leg, would you have a problem asking a doctor to help you? It's similar, except that we alcoholics help each other get sober. :) Best wishes to you. :) |
Just to once again echo what's already been said multiple times, none of us wanted to be that person who needed help or AA. You'll hear that repeated by others in AA frequently. Setting aside your pride is something you'll learn to do quite effectively in AA if you dedicate yourself to it. I'm as stubborn as they come and even though I'm new to AA, I don't regret getting involved one bit. I, like most here, tried and failed (repeatedly) to stay sober on my own. You can do it. And you'll actually be helping others as they help you. They'll no doubt be a welcoming group for you. |
I cannot do this stuff alone. I use SR, meetings and health professionals as needed. You do not have to do this alone- ever. Well done on the meeting bit- a significant event. My prayers and support to you. |
I hope you go Birdie.Think of it as fighting for your life? D |
The beautiful thing about this terrible disease is that you don't have to do it alone; so many people want to help you and help themselves, too, and I hope you go to the meeting. I found AA to be very helpful to me in early sobriety; both the rehabs I have been to were 12-step, and just having the face to face help of people who get it in a way that your husband never could, no matter how he might try, is precious and important. You can do this and you have lots of people rooting for you. Keep posting and don't drink! |
Thank you everyone! I can't tell you how much your support and encouragement means to me. I am committed to this early AM meeting tomorrow, I told my husband about it before I could lose my nerve. If I didn't tell him I could easily sleep in and pretend to myself it wasn't a big deal to skip. But I told him b/c I knew once I did I would have to go. We've never talked about AA, he's never asked me to do anything in particular, more like he's just ready to support me in whatever I choose to do. Anyway, he always brings me coffee in bed each morning and he was thrilled I wanted to do this and wanted to know how much earlier he should bring me my coffee so I could leave on time. :) I am still super nervous but I am for sure going tomorrow. |
You did the first steps on your sober journey. Well done! |
Let us know how it goes. Remember- it is a meeting of people supporting each other, it is not meeting a world leader for peace talks. |
AA is wonderful support. |
I thought I would post an update. I didn't end up going to that early AM meeting. Well, I did technically drive there and sit in the parking lot but I couldn't bring myself to go in. I felt like such a mess - still hungover really, heart pounding, on the verge of tears... And truthfully the men to women ratio of the people I saw going in (only a couple of women) was intimidating for me. So anyway, I drove home. But I knew (and know) I need more support so last night I tried again - I went to an evening meeting just 5 minutes from my house. Got there early and walked right in before I could think about it too much. And it was great. Really nice welcoming people. I got my 24 hour chip and have plans to go back next week to the same meeting plus another womens meeting a different day at the same location. Thank you all again for your support and encouragement. I'm so glad I went - just to be surrounded by people that totally understand was really meaningful for me. It was scary to take that step but I'm happy that I finally did it. |
birdie11 I am so proud of you. I know how much courage it takes to go to your first meeting. I'm also glad it was a good experience. I still remember picking up my 24-hour chip and how nervous I was. I'm still nervous picking up my medallions and I've been sober for 22 years. The best of luck to you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Thank you for sharing what you shared. It will help a lot of people. |
That's brilliant birdie, well done. :) |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:28 AM. |