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I'm still an alcoholic I can never forget this. My life has settled quite nicely at this point and I was a "reward" drinker. Thus, in my mind I think I deserve to imbibe (not sure Im using that word correctly). I h ave to remain vigilant. Reading this site each day helps with that. I'm still an alcoholic. |
I’d say we’re all alcoholics in remission. |
Great reminder for me! I too have the fleeting thought that I might 'deserve a break' or reward. The involuntary thought scares me. The things I do for my sobriety each day, which always include reading or posting a bit here, keep my sanity in line. Much needed post for me today, thanks Jeff! |
It we have a “reward” for whatever reason, we’ll find another reason the next day and the next. |
Originally Posted by Hodd
(Post 7249692)
It we have a “reward” for whatever reason, we’ll find another reason the next day and the next. |
I feel the same way. My life has never been better and I have no desire to drink, but coming here gives me a daily reminder that I cannot become complacent. It could all go away with one misstep. |
Good morning . rewards huh? For me my reward would be the death of me if I drink again. My rewards are endless the greatest reward is my sobriety period! I cherish it . never want it to go away. At 106 days and still plugging away😃 |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 7249697)
Exactly, I could always find a reason to pour a drink. always. I’m afraid to say I had a family tragedy this week, expected but very sad nonetheless. I’m not as upset as I thought I’d be, but I’ll never get to see that person again, and that’s starting to sink in. This would’ve been the one time I would’ve felt ok to take a drink, but I can honestly say having a drink never crossed my mind. I get urges, yes, but not on this occasion. |
I'm sorry for your loss, Hodd. |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 7249669)
I can never forget this. My life has settled quite nicely at this point and I was a "reward" drinker. Thus, in my mind I think I deserve to imbibe (not sure Im using that word correctly). I h ave to remain vigilant. Reading this site each day helps with that. I'm still an alcoholic. If you think about it, you can't get addicted to a substance or a behavior, unless you have learned it does something for you! Addictive behaviors are never random, there is always a reason and a reward. There is always a, "Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat." The important question to ask yourself is, what emotion do I "feel," right before I have that urge and decide to take that drink, do a drug or engage in any compulsive behavior? |
It always helps to look at it this way: "Deserve" a drink? You deserve better. |
^that and Don't forget you suck at it ;) |
An alcoholic in continuous recovery here and honestly being responsible. Support, care and understanding with you every step of your journey. :) |
Very good reminder. Thank you. |
Originally Posted by dwtbd
(Post 7249864)
^that and Don't forget you suck at it ;) I mean, I sucked at it too, but man, thomas11 you had me worried there. Your threads at the end of your drinking were scary and I didn't think you'd ever get sober. I'm very glad I was wrong. :) |
Originally Posted by Hodd
(Post 7249744)
I would tell my wife I’d had a hard day or that I was stressed or I’d tell myself I needed a drink to help me sleep. It’s often the case with heavy drinkers, and it’s absolute nonsense. I’m afraid to say I had a family tragedy this week, expected but very sad nonetheless. I’m not as upset as I thought I’d be, but I’ll never get to see that person again, and that’s starting to sink in. This would’ve been the one time I would’ve felt ok to take a drink, but I can honestly say having a drink never crossed my mind. I get urges, yes, but not on this occasion. |
Originally Posted by biminiblue
(Post 7249873)
THIS^^ I mean, I sucked at it too, but man, thomas11 you had me worried there. Your threads at the end of your drinking were scary and I didn't think you'd ever get sober. I'm very glad I was wrong. :) I quit drinking at 47 and there is no way I'd see 70 years old the way I was going. It would have been a slow and painful death. Like many there was not a moment of clarity etc....I just got very sick of being a drunk. |
I think the majority of us on the forum are alcoholics. It's not bad company to have :) |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 7249893)
Very sorry for your loss Hodd. thanks for sharing. |
Originally Posted by thomas11
(Post 7249896)
Bimini, I always appreciate your input. Straight truth with no bull. I like that. I quit drinking at 47 and there is no way I'd see 70 years old the way I was going. It would have been a slow and painful death. Like many there was not a moment of clarity etc....I just got very sick of being a drunk. ”You’ll never see an old alcoholic.” As well as the liver problems - I’m still shocked how grim liver disease is - the risk of cancers such as bowel, breast and throat cancers starts to double even with relatively light drinkers and progressively increases with alcohol intake. For me, that was all the counselling I needed. I read another forum for liver patients, and a really nice and genuine guy on there had a liver transplant as a result of drinking. He’s in his 60s, and all he knows about his donor is it was a male aged 29. He grieves on a daily basis for the donor and the life he’s not having now. I think it would torment me to my grave to know I’d destroyed my liver through drinking and to then receive a donor liver from someone so young. |
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