this reads like a wee bit of expectations.
expectations are premeditated disappointments.
youre right where youre supposed to be- right where your HP says you should be. youre not your HP,correct? :)

i read this after posting what i did. 2 people thinkin that- HUH!! :)

The way you appear to work the AA program and discharge your work and family duties, IP, I would suspect that you are precisely where you are supposed to be.

You have chosen the same path to sobriety as I have done for over 30 years now.

Even today, I get very reflective around chip time and that introspection invariably leads to profound gratitude.

It amazes me that someone who was such a lost soul as I was could be given the opportunities which unfold for me on a daily basis.

We're happy to have you with us.

Thanks everyone, after reading all the replies, I have come upon the realization that it's simply my feelings of regret for my past and I'm sure it will dissipate over time as it has others. The best part of my realization, is I'm experiencing what they call "feelings" lol. I get to feel them in all their glory vs. numbing them as I have done in the past. Again, I've never been happier, but that token emotion, used to throw me off. I don't think it will happen anymore, I've made peace with it. Thank you all!!!