Heyyyy I'm just wondering how you are 😀

And to remind you your not alone 🙏💖

Wow I relate to this, your not alone 🙏💖

Thanks yinzer, thomas, biminiblue and Doris. It means a lot to actually hear that someone else thinks I can do it and that I'm not alone. I guess I'm about 28 hours without a drink and the anxiety is still bad. Trying to sleep but making no progress on that front. Just tossing, turning, reading posts on here obsessively.

I'm really tempted to go and get more wine so I can sleep but that's a laughable suggestion from my silly brain. I can't envisage having to go through this again so I'm just riding the craving wave.

Will it get better? Will I ever be able to trust myself again? I've got a trip next week half way round the world to see one of my best friends. I've told her about my current relationship with alcohol and that it's off the table. Feeling a lot more relieved that I've let the cat out of the bag so to speak. But that flight on my own is going to be tough. I'm planning to stick close to here when I can and to just get an easy book to read on the plane.

Everything feels so hard at the moment. When did you notice the sharpness of the anxiety subsiding?

Right by your side 🙏💖

Try not to focus on your anxiety Hope, not easy when it is raging I know. It does pass.
As for buying wine to sleep - really? Think how you will feel when you wake up after about 4 hours alcohol induced sleep only to find your back at square one.

Your doing great, hang in there.

Thanks Kaily. I will not go and get more alcohol as it is the last thing in the world I need. Just got to hang on in here.

I had terrible anxiety for a couple of weeks after I stopped, but it got better after that, and really, pretty much went away. So did the depression. For me, alcohol actually CAUSED a lot of my anxiety and depression. If it didn't cause it chemically (and I'm convinced most of it was chemical), it caused it by way of my behaviors not being in line with who I really am.

It will get better. Promise.

One thing for me that was hard at the beginning was convincing myself I was WORTHY of being sober and having a better life. I had made such a mess of things and hated myself so much that it was a foreign concept to me to feel like I even deserved to have a better life. I had to be convinced. I went to AA, went to outpatient treatment, and listened and tried to believe that I was not a bad person, and that I could have a better life and eventually stop feeling so much shame. And guess what? 4 years later, the shame is mostly gone. I still have some regrets, sure. But I don't let it rule my life. I am not my mistakes.

Yes being worthy of sobriety is a big one....and surprise, surprise, alcohol makes that worse as well. The withdrawal often accompanies depression and which triggers things like worthlessness. I mean it literally has you thinking that way.

Have you ever had an IT help desk get permission to access your computer and then they walk you through everything on the screen? Sometimes I wish I could do that with people's brains. :)

Great words MLD and WaterOx. I certainly don't feel worthy of anything good in my life today. But I've kept sober today and just heading off to bed so very glad for staying sober. This is so tough. My head is fried!

Your signature words really spoke to me MLD: A few bad chapters does not mean your story is over. This is me starting a new, better chapter.

That makes me smile, Hoping. :)

When I stopped drinking - 0900, buy 5L of rotgut wine- drink until reach oblivion- repeat.

I NEED daily support- here and meetings.
Also professional support- GO, counsellor.

Prayers and support to you.

Late to welcome you, but hello hopingwishing. We're so glad you joined us.
Talking things over with those who understand makes all the difference. You can get free & have a great life.

Things will get better!
Do NOT sit in the bar at the airport. Take a lot of books, podcasts, music. Read these forums at the airport. Don’t drink caffeine on the flight. Maybe melatonin?
You told your friend alcohol is off the table, so stick to that.
You can do it!

I remember drinking a couple of beers with my Egg McMuffin before work to stop the shakes and get on with my workday.

That was near the end of my drinking career and fortunately I was able to stop before I started losing things.

I’ve been sober almost 9 years now, you can do it too. Becoming a daily, active participant on this website is a good start.

Day 3 over, day 4 starting
 

It can be for a while - but ride it out Hopingwishing - it gets better :)

D

I am almost 48 hours sober. No sleep and very anxious. Sense of doom and hopelessness. It's dark and freezing out. I am alone all the time, unemployed, just miserable. I spend my money on booze so here I am sober with stale bread and water. Hate this so much

The answer is yes. Yes you will feel good again. Do whatever it takes to beat this debilitating addiction. Throw yourself into recovery. I have been where you are. Drinking wine in the morning. Hating myself. I wanted to die every single day. I am 9 months sober now with the help of SR and AA. I don't feel like that anymore.

Hang in there Canuck. 48 hours is great. That is 48 hours more than some. These feelings will pass. It is the alcohol that is making you feel like that. Stay close.