This thread really jumped out at me.

I'm sitting here, in my living room, thinking whether or not to ask the Australians in our SR family what they think of Kangaroos. Yeah. That's my life. My daughter is upstairs studying for finals....a Senior in high school on the cusp of greatness.

I asked her what she thinks of Kangaroos and we both agree they seem a little creepy. There I said it. I mean, I love Kanga from Winnie the Pooh but I think I'd be terrified of the real thing. Give me a Moose any day, but a Kangaroo....terrifying :)

I guess my point is....I have NO FRICKEN PURPOSE RIGHT NOW. And it is everything. I had a career in tech, the husband, the second husband who died, the daughter....my life has always had some purpose. I can manage being busy, but a purpose? I got nada. And for me that actually is really important for continuing abstinence.

I'm in this very weird no where land. Daughter is still here, but doesn't really need that much (well kind of but not like she used to). I am probably moving to Cali to be my parents caregiver....Yay, purpose. But that isn't happening until June time frame. Boo, delayed purpose. And there's always the possibility it won't happen because they are old and have dementia so everyday is kind of a new day. So I can't start a 'real' job because, well, I'm probably moving. I don't really know what other kind of job I can have: Uber, Lifte, Instacart? Hell I don't know. So...uh, purpose-less.

You sound like you have purpose, big time. And you sound like you know what you want. And NO, wanting a simple life, healthy life is not abnormal. Not everyone can be a VP. And to Don't remember's point: The last company I worked for had VP's of everything. I was a VP. Big whoop. I used to laugh and say I was the VP of sticky notes. The customers like to interface with a VP....hence the titles. Now I loved that job and I was good at it and I was in my early 30's and had lots of career goals. Now? I'd be perfectly happy being an Uber driver.

Don't you think that being an addict and going through that hell, and the struggle of recovery, gives us a unique view about what is truly important? At least to ourselves? I think its a big part of the whole, know yourself, accept yourself thing.

There is always the problem in the corporate world that if you aren't growing and innovating your job will become, ehem, obsolete. But I think you can find a way to add value, without being eaten up by the corporate blob. Or you can get a new job....who knows.

Sounds to me like you are right where you should be. Now if I could only get a life........

Wow great responses! Frick, I think you’ve had many purposes, all external. Sounds like you’ve done great by that kid.

Now you can do right by you! Although parent caregiver is a big one right there. We did that for my mother in law. Mostly my wife. It’s huge. But it’s also very good for the soul to help someone vulnerable.

Fearless, thanks for starting this thread! It’s a very good one!

I left the corporate rat race, but am having trouble finding a new source of income that doesn't suck.

For me the purpose is to feel better physically and get back to the old me, accomplishing things that I want to do, not career related things.

Yeah I do caregiving really well. And I love it. And living with my folks in beautiful northern cali for FREE wouldn't suck. AND I'd be close to my kid who will most likely attend college in Cali. So lots of advantages. And I would rent my house here...where rents are skyrocketing. Why? Because all the rich Californians have figured out that california, unless you are really rich, kinda sucks. Soooo, hopefully they will hang in there and be able to stay in their home. If not, they are moving here. So either way, I'm doing some level of care giving. But if they move here they will be in assisted living...which I frankly think would kill them. Ugh.

And then I'm forced to the dreaded.....something for me. And that my friend is where I run into a dead end. Frankly, I like having purpose handed to me. I've always done what I thought others wanted me to do or needed me to do. Without that, I'm actually pretty scared.

Oh and I just remembered....I own 10 acres (that has burned to dirt multiple times in the last decade) up past Chico, california. Pot farmer? Hmmmm. I don't like pot so ya never know! Maybe I'll grown hemp and pot and create really cool CBD tinctures to help anxiety and depression. Okay, that's a total tangent. And the whole 'burn to the ground' thing is probably a sign....

Fearless, I feel your plight about setting work goals. I plan to make a case this coming spring for my value in my profession, and I really don't believe in it. But... well, I probably will try, anyway.

Thank you for this thread. I think personal value has a lot to do with staying sober. And work has a lot to do with sense of personal value, for many of us. For others, it's looks. Maybe those aren't great measures of worth, but they're the currency of the real-world marketplace. I love to see you, me, and anyone trying to recalibrate their scale of self-value to a more wholesome metric.

One of my favorite quotes too, Anna. It was important for me also to find my own values and live my own life, not live based on what I thought others expected.

Thank you everyone. The more I thought about this today and read your posts, the more I realize that yes, purpose and sobriety are connected and very important.

Frick, I agree that having gone through our struggles and being in recovery does change the meaning of life in a deeper way. I have been where you are in limbo about purpose. I am feeling better about it now. But I do need to keep reminding myself what it’s all about for me. I’m sure it changes a bit with all of us as we go through different life stages. VP of sticky notes huh? :) I suppose we are all VPs and CEOs of our own lives. All joking aside, I bet there is a market for CBD - especially in No Ca. It is being explored for skin care, autism, anxiety, depression and probably a lot of other things. I actually buy some at the pet store and mix it in my cats food. They have anxiety.

Mindfulman, I hope you find something that works for you.
Good luck to you too, Courage.

I can relate. My life for the last twenty years has been drinking and trying to succeed in my profession. I was up for review this past year and I didn't pass because I couldn't finish a big, multiple-year project due to excessive daily drinking that caused my brain to slow down significantly.

I'm also planning on moving to be a caregiver to my parents who have dementia, although I need to have my own income. My work was my purpose but I managed to ruin something that I loved. However, it got me to stop drinking and face the consequences which I have been avoiding for twenty years. So, maybe it was a blessing (although there is a lot of insecurity).

Yes I totally agree with courage, purpose and recovery go hand in hand. Good point too fearless.

Frick, I am from Cali too. Went to humboldt. From SoCal though, and boy I hear ya about the rich part. All those rich folks who love the weather and moved from the Midwest/east coast made it so I can’t afford to move back home! Lol

Mindful, I hope you find something you like.

What a great thread with good questions and responses. I was asked by my addiction therapist today about what my long term goals happen to be, and I just kind of stared at her for a moment bewildered. Nobody has asked me that in a long time.

The side of me that is looking at the picture now is values based, and presently I'm still on number one of staying sober. I have surrounding principles and aims that I strive toward to lead a meaningful life, but everything right now is feeding into that primary value of sobriety and is supported by it. I do feel like I am growing along the way, and I am exploring some things in me that either were so suppressed or died from drinking that I'm content.

At work there are not a lot of opportunities for promotion available in our small organization, so I strive to do the best of my abilities and take on roles that are out of the scope of my grade, and so I don't feel stifled by a job description.

Philosophy is an old interest that I'm looking into again, but that's only beginning.

No regrets about where I am now.

Ahh, purpose.

I don't know if you have time to read my whole story but I will tell it anyway.

For most of my career, I have had a pretty standard corporate-slave type job. I was quite good at it but at the expense of personal happiness. My way of dealing with my soul-sucking job was to drink alcoholically.

When I finally got sober after two decades in my profession, I spent the first 12 months focussed on bedding down sobriety. In my second year of sobriety, I realised my job was causing me soul-searing pain. And I didn't have a way of running away from it, by escaping into a bottle. I didn't want to quit my job, because that too would be a kind of running away.

So I went on a big spiritual quest. I knew it was time to pull together my personal spiritual beliefs and my professional day-to-day reality, because not living my truth was the root of my pain.

I literally retreated into the deep jungles of the Amazon and I asked the straightforward question: What is my purpose on Earth?

When I returned from the jungle, I didn't feel any different at first. I had a new-found conviction that I was in the right place in my job and at my company. That much I knew from my retreat. But I still couldn't quite figure out what my purpose was.

So I dove deeper than before into my job.

After 3 months, I fell into a depression. I had gone on the giant quest, returned knowing I was in the right place, but nothing had changed!

I was so demoralised I thought of quitting my job, and even leaving my career.

I confided in a friend whom I had met on my jungle retreat. We began to chat and commiserate together because she too was a corporate slave. In one of our exchanges, she told me about a new movement around transforming business to become more evolved and conscious.

I looked into it and all the pieces started to fall into place. I had a-ha moment after a-ha moment. The more I studied it, the more I realised I could apply my own skills to this type of work. I began to research voraciously about purpose-led enterprises, and purpose-led investments, and purpose-led jobs.

I presented a business plan to my superiors and while they were skeptical, they let me spend some of my time pursuing this new area of business.

Well, some great people and opportunities came my way, and with the newfound incredible energy and enthusiasm I now had, formed on the bedrock of my sobriety, the nascent area of business has turned out to be my new calling.

In fancy corporate speak, it is 'transformational corporate governance'. In basic language, it is about advising big bad companies on changing themselves from sociopathic machines bent only on making money to responsible corporate citizens who also look after people and the planet.

The best thing is, it combines my skills and my passion with a way to make a difference and make a living.

What I take from it is, it is WORTH asking yourself what your purpose is. It is worth the quest. We only have limited time here on this planet, and things are falling apart around us. It is worth everyone of us spending some time to pursue our purpose.

The other thing I take from it is, it is easiest to start where you are. I had my purpose literally in front of my nose, I just had to start asking questions, putting out feelers and seeing where it led me.

The final thing I know for sure is that I had to get sober first. Before I went on my retreat, I knew that getting sober was just the start of it. Getting sober was like the great test I had set myself in this life, and once I passed it, the universe was prepared to show me my purpose.

For some of us, our purpose really is going to be simple - helping the next person you can. For me, though, it was a big calling I had to find.

And now I no longer feel like a slave. And I don't care about titles, or office politics, or the BS games people play. I have my purpose. And that's all that matters.

I actually read this book in the jungle, on my retreat. It was in the shared library and someone else had left it behind. It was inspirational.

A retreat in the Jungle? You lucky sod :p
I'd love to hear more about that.

@ flick, you obviously seem to get a lot of fulfilment from caring for others, is there not a career route you fancy going in that direction?
I mean maybe there are various volunteering opportunities that might give your life a new sense of direction and being of use?

I don't think I could cope in a corporate environment! I haven't got the ability to disguise how I feel very well. I think, as far as I'm aware, I'm that sort of environment you have to be cunning and calculated. I'm too simple minded for that sort of social dynamic lol

This is interesting to me that you posted because very recently I have come to the realisation and acceptance that I have absolutely zero professional drive. I have been talking on the phone to my best friend for months. She has a great job with the federal government, has steadily advanced in her career but has reached a point where she wants even more. She is actively sending out resumes both within the department she works for and outside. She has had some very high level interviews and has taken a ton of time to write out hundreds of potential interview questions and write out responses. She has now decided she would like to get an additional advanced degree to increase her chances. She is happy with her work and is excited about the possibilities. I admire her so much for that.

Me? I had some pretty successful jobs in the US in a couple of different industries. I was driven, hard-working and loved the competition. I once took on a role as an account manager for a seasonal client in my industry and was put up in a hotel near the office by my company (I lived an hour drive away, but had to be close for this work). I worked seven days a week sometimes 18 hours a day. I had two phones on my desk plus a cell phone, two computers and was constantly busy on one or the other or multiple devices. I crushed it. We had a stellar year that year. I then left that company to take advantage of a lucrative and fun opportunity much closer to home. I was massively successful and ended up earning an incredible amount of money.

But I didn't care really. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. It was just work. When I think back over the many, many jobs I have had since I started working at age 12 (first job was at dunkin' donuts :) ) The one job that I can remember that I absolutely loved and would return to in a heartbeat was when I waited tables at an upscale restaurant. I loved it, absolutely loved it. I was surrounded by good food (and, yes, wine at the time I wasn't yet into my alcoholism) I had the opportunity to go in the kitchen and watch the chefs, asking questions. The head chef would describe the menu before each service and then quiz us on various particulars. I learned so much about something I am interested in. I adored setting the perfect table, polishing the silverware and glassware. I got so much joy greeting a new table and within seconds reading them to get an idea of what kind of service they wanted (quiet and stand-offish, friendly and talkative, professional, casual and welcoming...) My co-worker loved me. We pooled our tips there, so at the end of the night everyone put all the tips together and then we divided it evenly. I was always the one to bring in huge amounts. I didn't get rich waiting tables, but I made enough to cover the bills and that's all the mattered to me. And then when I went home, it was gone, all left at the restaurant. No big project or complication looming over me. The next day was always a new day. I have had some great servers myself and they really make the experience of eating out so much more enjoyable. I know I was a great waitress and I am happy I could provide my customers that service.

So my purpose now has nothing to do with professional issues. I simply want to make enough money to cover my bills and I am happy with that. The less stress the better. But I do like to provide meaningful, important service no matter what I am doing.

Really enjoying reading your stories and thoughts on this topic. It’s the Purpose Project!
MissP, that is fascinating and inspirational! I have some big bad organizational clients who have done some big bad corrupt, even fraudulent, things. I’d love to talk to them about transformative responsible people and planet values! It’s so interesting that I’ve recently thought about this idea and how I might weave more company ethics and wellness values into my career goals. I’m going to chew over this some more. With my family priorities, I don’t think I want to spend the time developing something formal. But if I can make the topic even a small casual part of my regular interactions and meetings with clients, I will feel more purposeful and that I am adding value in a genuine way.
Mera, it is good to see you here. I love the detail you put into your shares, and the good experience you describe. My first job was at Taco Bell, and I also waited tables long ago. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a similar positive experience. I had some mean customers I wanted to throw water at! It did get me through college, though, so I suppose that was a good enough purpose.

Hi Fearless, if you start talking to people about your views on ethics and wellness values, I think you will find that you aren't the only one. I will throw a few ideas into the mix, and you may find some resonate with you.

• Intrapreneurship - the act of behaving like an entrepreneur within your company, incubating new ideas sometimes with the support of your superiors. That's kind of what I did and I found a small group of like-minded people in my own company.
• Conscious capitalism - a movement started by John Mackay of Whole Foods fame.
• Also aligned to the concept of 'shared value'. Both markedly expand on the idea of 'corporate social responsibility' which parked the responsibility for socially positive outcomes into a separate part of the business, without making it core to the business.
• B Corporations - companies which have a broad social purpose as well as a profit making one.
• See also Teal organisations which are holistic, high-consciousness, self-organising enterprises that emphasise the humanity of their workforces.
• Spiral dynamics - a theory about human evolution, which says we (including companies) are evolving into a higher understanding

There's a bunch of other ideas floating around. There's no need to make any of it formal. The beauty of most of this is that it is grass-roots and empowered by ordinary people.

At the very least, I hope it will make you feel less alone in your opinion that the traditional corporate worldview is unsustainable.

Well, we - and the planet - cannot go on the old way! The revolution is here and it's time to choose which side you'll be on :). We are the ones we have been waiting for.