I don't know what to say, Sweetichick, everyone here has shared so much advice. What I did notice is that there are almost two and a half thousand views on this thread. That's a lot of heart and energy coming your way over the course of what you have been going through. People obviously care a lot, but now you've got to care even more than anything or anyone else.

Sometimes I can't even go to the bottle shop and end up coming back from the garage. I get your point though. I walk in even if I can barely walk. You guys have really helped. The cravings are gone now.

That's almost embarassing to have so many times views. Your right that I get in these don't care moods but with the support I get here and from AA I feel like people do care. Thanks for your support.

I'm actually one of the people that reads your threads but I don't post in them sweetichick. I mostly post in the friends and family forum.

I wish you well.

Insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Something in your actions have to change; or your plan has to change; what can you change to help your odds here? What can anyone say that will be that magic bullet? I read your threads and I just fear I see someone who just doesnt want to change. I had to actively take steps in my recovery. Sitting on my butt just didn't work for me. I thought I had the willpower and I dont. I had to make hard decisions and do the difficult actions. It's not until you do those things that you will progress. Everything is impossible if you make it impossible. No rehab, no detox, no face to face meetings... those are three of the biggest weapons to fight this and I feel you are not arming yourself with the tools...

Pick up one of those tools and see how it works.

I think you live in a dream world. You expect me t9 sell my house to go to rehab. I can easily detox myself under a doctor because I am a binge drinker. I go to f2f if I can physically get there. Get off my case or I am resigning my membership. There's little love and support. You just use my honesty against me. Plus I have bipolar disorders and you make it worse. You don't even know meexcept what I type. I can see why so many leave.

They talk in Australia about bullying on the internet of young people who end up suiciding. This is a good example of that. Thank God I don't E to meet you all in real life.

No-one is bullying you at all Sweetie and I am sorry you feel that way. Everyone has a different style here, some take the soft approach and others take a harder approach but none of it is meant in malice.

One thing that was very aparant when I went to rehab was how addicts/alcoholics like to play the victim when they are challenged. It was such a common trait amongst people with addiction issues we had 2 whole days of classes on this subject.

Because you are not regularly engaging in AA, seeing an addiction specialist or getting addiction counselling or going to rehab you have a lot to learn and what you are reading as bullying is exactly what you get taught at a rehab, some people are ready to hear it and others are still in denial and fight against it.

I saw many people come to rehab who fought for the first month they were there, as did I and just as you are doing now, but after a month they got to a point that they surrendered and realised what they were being taught was right, and for a chance of a sober life they had to get on board, get with the programme and stop playing the victim and start listening. At times it was comical to see a room of 30 alcoholics all blaming each other for everything and no-one taking any responsibility for their own actions but that is what we had learned to survive and get through life and it had worked...until it stopped working for us all and we ended up in rehab.

I did the exact same thing myself, I tried to leave the rehab 3 times, I couldn't accept my part in anything and I had the emotional age of a teenager, drinking had stopped me growing up and I threw tantrums and kicked off all the time because I had not learned a more mature way to deal with anything and I had no tools to make it better or change. I am so glad I stayed at rehab because the person that walked out after a couple of months was a completely different person to the one that walked in those doors.

It was hard, I had to face a LOT of uncomfortable truths about my behaviour, I cried a lot, for the first time I had to look at my part in things instead of my default which was to blame everyone and everything else and pull out the victim card. I know how hard it is to get from the place you are in Sweetie to the other side, because I have been exactly where you are.

I am not bullying you, I am sharing my own experience and telling you what kind of person I was, how I ended up in rehab and what I had to do to make a change because I see so much of my old behaviour in you.

This is spot on, I hope you will take it to heart sweetichick, with the kindness that I feel was intended.
Know that you are not alone in this either sweeti, I had a major victim mentality while actively drinking and it is something I am still working on. I recall various posts here on the forum calling me out on it and some pretty nasty PM's telling me what a pathetic whiny victim I was. It hurts. The truth hurts. It is hard to do, I know this well, but has to be done to reach a level of maturity where we can reach out for help and accept the answers that come our way which include taking a good, hard look at ourselves.

Sweeti -go and read the thread called "Just leave me alone" by Kdon853.

Please don't confuse people caring with bullying. People who take the time to read and respond to your posts, are doing it because we are all here for the same reason - to get and to offer advice.

Stay strong, Sweeti

Apparently years ago in AA they would take a really tough stance with newcomers. One guy did a chair recently shared that when he first got into AA he sat in a meeting and said he really didn't want to be there. The guy next to him said "well f$@k off then". Lol. I had to really laugh at that.

I am 9 months into recovery and it has been the hardest thing I ever had to do. I read something yesterday that said

" Stop waiting for around for someone to notice you need help, it's not happening,
No one is coming to save you,
Drop the damsel in distress act and pick up your goddamed sword,
You know you need help,
Get up and make it happen".

I love it. And I wanted to share. I am responsible for myself and my actions. I had to do whatever it took to not pick up that first drink. Nothing will change as long as you keep drinking. If just not drinking is all you can manage then so be it. Just get your head on the pillow sober at night. Forget everything else and just make not drinking your only priority .

Something else I like. "You can carry the message but not the alcoholic."

Get up and fight for your life Sweetie. I know you can do this.

Hugs, strength, love and courage for you.

Xx

Sweetichick if you feel you're being bullied you can report posts, you can PM Anna or to me, or you can use the ignore function.

These are all things we've talked about before, so none of that should be new to you.

Obviously not everyone's approach or tone will suit you and you have the option of using the ignore function on those posters.

Noone needs to know who those posters are, not even me.

No one can tell you what to do, and noone else can live your life for you.

Thats the bottom line.

But I do believe everyone here wants to see you well - they want to see you stop drinking and they want to see you reclaim your life.

Your enemy is addiction. and maybe your own fears and lack of self esteem...not the folks here sweetichick.

D

I don't really care if you all know I feel bullied or thiit I am playing the victim role. Just more psychological crap and you don't know my life story. Tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I'm not telling you my life story as I have moved on from it. And I went to heaps of dual diagnosis rehabs years ago so there you go.

I find your comment very disrespectful and hurtful Sweetie, and whilst I really want to help support you and show you understanding I also have learned to set boundaries for myself to protect my sobriety. You have just crossed the line for me so I wish you well on your journey but I cannot be part of it anymore. x

This sums it up perfectly for all of us.

Just a reminder on conduct.

This rule applies to everyone, including you Sweetichick.

Lashing out at members is not one of the options I gave you in my post before, Sweetichick.

It's not helpful - and it's the pretty much the same thing you've accused other members of doing here.

Its only going to bring you the same kind of replies.

Respect is a two way street.

If you can't be respectful to other members here - or to me - I'll have to close this thread.

When I was drinking it was easier to get riled up over something than it was to actually work at stopping drinking.

It was a dumb way to live.

I think you're smarter than that,

Dee
Moderator
SR

Just to clarify - I meant this sums it up perfectly about how we all feel about ourselves -not how we all feel about you.

Sweetichick, rootin for ya. :egypt:

https://i.postimg.cc/50r1YKhk/01pink-rose.jpg

Sweeti, I'm think it's been suggested before, have you spoken to your doctor about Antabuse?

Or, can you stay with someone who can help you? Make it impossible for you to get alcohol? Turn your car keys over to them? Can you walk into a hospital and tell them you're afraid you're going to die, shortly, from alcoholism?

It's that serious Sweeti. I have been praying for you.

Tomsteve raises an excellent point about rehab. Your comment about believing people are jealous of the australia benefits system and the fact you said you've not worked for 20 years would imply that unless you are living off inheritance or savings or someone is paying you to survive then you MUST be in receipt of government benefits.

If so, as you said, rehab is free for people who are in receipt of benefits so then you would be eligible for free rehab. so unless you really just don't want to go then there is no reason not to.

I know for me, I have to look at what I CAN do to get and stay sober not keep making excuses/reasons as to why I keep drinking.

Sorry you are so hurting and angry--drinking just amplifies these kinds of emotions.

I hope very much you find your way to stopping drinking before it's too late.
I think the clock is running down, and I am worried for you.

I really hope you can find a way to get sober Sweeti. There have been so many people in your corner offering support and advice. We can all continue to do that, but you are the only one capable of making the changes needed to live a sober and healthy life.

Sweeti - I don't usually post in your threads because it's sometimes painful to read.

There was a member here who was around your age. She even lived in your corner of the world. We tried to help her, as other posters are trying to help you now.

We suggested AA - she went to meetings on and off but never worked the steps with honesty, willingness and open-mindedness.

We suggested rehab - she said she would go but never followed through.

We suggested just posting here every single day for accountability - she would disappear for weeks at a time.

A lot of the excuses she had are very similar to yours.

She was a kind soul and a friend to many of us. She died a few years back from this disease. She died alone.

No one here wants this fate for you. It's not too late yet.

When I was told my life was at risk from drinking, as you've been told multiple times by medical professionals, I did what I had to do. I begged every single social worker I knew to help me get a bed in rehab. I put my job on the line and was wiling to get fired over going to treatment. I took out loans to pay for what my insurance didn't cover. I would have sold any tangible property I owned to get the help I needed, but I didn't own anything of value.

I did what I had to do to get sober. Rehab, IOP, AA, counseling. I hope you're ready to consider what you're truly willing to do so you don't die from alcoholism.

I'm pulling and praying for you.

Thank you, dig dug.

Sweetichick, digdug and I both read and posted with/for that person for a long time. We knew she was in so much pain, like you.

And like digdug and Dee, I genuinely fear you’ll end up just like her if you are unwilling or unable to honestly look your addiction in the eye.

As long as I said no to things (aa isn’t for me, I don’t like therapy, I don’t need rehab/can’t afford it/can’t risk my job...), I couldn’t stay sober. I could cobble some weeks or even in a few cases months, together. But I wasn’t recovering. I was just white knuckling.

When I became truly afraid of drinking again, and became willing to try anything and everything to stay sober... I recovered.

Saying yes saved my life.

No more get out of jail free cards (if THIS happens I might drink, etc.), no more saying no to stuff (because until I found what DID work I didn’t have the luxury to say no to anything). I stopped saying no, and I got my life back.

I was in a terrible place. Crushing debt, relationship in shambles, family sick of me. Recovery fixed it all: paid off debt, my partner trusts me and we got married, family is fine. No matter how far we fall, we can recover. Better than ever.

But we have to let go of the bs that we don’t need a plan, a program, or outside help. Cuz if they were true we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess in the first place.

I really, truly hope that you get outside face to face help. Your life is worth so much more than alcoholic suffering.

I still miss member 'lifetplant' and others like SoozyQ.

I don't want to be saying the same about you sweetichick.
This stuff kills people, unless you fight back.

D

Change is scary sweeti, taking the risk to find funding for rehab- or simply to go. Letting go of the bottle on a daily basis and especially when you feel you need it the most. We get it, it is really frightening. But only these changes can bring you out of this mess.

I remember a group meeting in rehab when we were talking about this. The psychologist said that we fear this change so much because we don't know what it will bring, even if we are told it is good things. With drinking, even if it is miserable, we known the well-worn path and know what to expect. So we keep sticking to that because it is the easy way out. To get somewhere better we have to make that leap of faith and go with the change.

It can be incredibly frustrating to see someone still suffering on regardless.
My Granny had a saying though 'If you have nothing good to say, say nothing'
Don't be the reason (however ridiculous) that someone 'drinks at' today :)
Peace x

Queensland is a great place to live and while its important to note there are not free government rehabs on every corner., there is help available :)

Sweetichick If you haven't explored the public health rehab route yet - and if you want to - you can start the process by ringing the Qld Health Alcohol and Drugs Information Service.


Again ADIS can let you know which clinics are closest to wherever you are.

I'm not trying to push you into anything.

I just want you (and those reading) to know there are options - although there could also be waiting lists.

If you want to try the 90/90 AA route first that's your call and one I support :)

but you can note down the number or ask me for that ADIS number again if you change your mind :)

D

I can easily detox myself under a doctor because I am a binge drinker.

yes, which you stated you did in a Jan 10 post :
With the detox, I detoxes myself with the help of valium. Currently on day 2.

and then on Jan 13 stated:
I had another slip and are back on day 2.

which indicates that your self-detox isn't working. you are now simply adding another drug into the mix on your "off" days. actually your very first post ever here mentioned using valium........for detox, on day 2.

if you truly WANT to be sober, YOUR way isn't getting you there.
if sobriety is not your goal, then by all means keep doing what you are doing.

the solutions are simple.....not easy, but simple. these same solutions have been suggested on your threads hundreds of times by other members. if it seems repetitious, it's intentional. there is no secret, special path for anyone to get sober. it's dang hard work, whichever path one chooses. every day. never drinking again for any excuse on any day, no matter what.

Keep doing what you've always done, and you'll get what you've always received.

I've been to state funded rehab four (4) times. I'm in debt because of it. But, and here's the kicker...

I'M ALIVE TO BE IN DEBT.

I, too, suffer from Bipolar I and was a long-time practicing alcoholic. Looking back, it took every drink, every lie to myself and others, every poor decision, every lost relationship, every bad thing that was attributed to my own choice to continue avoiding reality via chemical alteration before I was CRACKED THE **** OPEN and made willing. I thank God every day that all those things happened, because now I have a reference point for the personal hell I escaped. It doesn't take me long to get back into a point of gratitude and willingness when I compare how I was living to how I live today. I'd wager that there are many suffering alcoholics and addicts in my town, let alone my country or worldwide, that would trade places with me.

Over the course of this thread, there have been several people who have offered a corollary and contradictory response to your myriad excuses for NOT seeking professional level help. Every time we offer concrete advice, we are met with a victim mentality and more excuses.

Let me ask you this...

Do you REALLY want to get sober? Because your behavior (self-reported) thus far isn't indicating that you do.

When we find out we have this disease, we either die with it or die because of it. Which do you prefer?