I gotta second this sweeti. All of the following is said with care and concern and out of the desire to support you. You have a pattern of coming and posting (great, really) when there is some sort of crisis (boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, death, daughter, health, house issues) and talking about how you drank over it. You then pull yourself out and report on the days sober you have. Various people come to offer advice and ask specific questions about your recovery plan, which you generally ignore and then disappear for a few days, coming back only when a new crisis hits.

What can you do differently this time? For a start, can you answer the questions posed to you here on this thread about what happened to your plan for detox? I recall you saying the rehab was going to be delayed, but you have not commented further about detox. Next, do you think this time you can stay a little more active and involved on SR for a start? Keep posting, even when you start to hit a stride. Even just reporting on your day or reaching out if you are starting to feel bad about something. What about starting to put together a plan for your next payday now, instead of waiting until it is nearly upon you to start worrying?

We all know this is hard, trust me. You can do this if you DO the work. We\re here to support you.

I’m exhausted, Sweeti, but I will never give up on you. Don’t give up on yourself either. How did the test go? Did you get to a meeting?
Here for you...

Good news Sweeti! Now I hope you can focus on your recovery.

I know the feeling, I had my tests done back in May, it does feel good knowing everything is good. I still had a bad aortic valve that I had replaced in June. It was purely genetic, not related to my alchohol abuse or diet. Recovery time would have been a lot longer with bypass thrown in

Hey, Sweeti. I am glad you had good news from the doc so perhaps you can use this to jump-start your sobriety with the confidence that you can have a healthy life-which you certainly can-if you just
lay off the booze. Please look into rehab and detox options--I needed lots of help to quit and inpatient rehab was part of it. It was the best thing I'd done for myself, even though I was very against going at the start. There has been lots of great advice here and much love being shown you, Sweeti. We get it, we feel for you and our fond desire is for you to get better and have a decent, dignified and fun life without the poison of alcohol. All the best.

With the detox, I detoxes myself with the help of valium. Currently on day 2. I don't post unless there is something to talk about. I don't think people are really interested in hearing about cleaning but I will make more of an effort. I am still dealing with my mother who has decided to disown me because I rang her too much trying to find out what was happening with Christmas. I don't care though it hurts a bit. She is happy in her isolation. With rehab my sponsor agrees I can't go. So instead I have to do an AA meeting everyday for 3 months. That's hard work. It has to be a daily decision not to pick up and instead go to the meeting. Thanks for your concern Mera.

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement and support. I will reply to more of you individually later.

Why is that?

Edit: for every 'reason' you've said you "can't go.." I/we could pull up multiple threads,from you, on why you SHOULD go... Not trying to be an ass,but..own your choice(s) one way or the other. I didn't get sober by placing blame,so all I know is owning MY stuff..

You don't know me personally. She does. For those that can't make it to rehab for whatever reason she recommends AA every night. I don't have the upfront money and would have to sell my car which is mortgaged to the house. I would love to go but have no health insurance. Are you happy now?

I don't need detox and can't go to rehab. They are not excuses but reasons why. There's a big difference. Unless you are calling me a list Your in AA. Haven't you seen the miracles that happen there.

I meant liar

Ah, I see. Is there no option there for inpatient detox? It's such a shame you can't work out a way to get to a free rehab or find a way to get a loan or something for rehab. For the alcohol, yes, but you also just really seem to need a break from life. I think such an alcohol free period, accompanied by a time away from the problems you have going on, would give you a good start at staying sober.
I understand the difficulty. Though my decision was not financial (well in part it was, I had to leave my daily work) it was more logistical. It took me forever to get over that hump in my head.
I just can't recommend rehab enough, really. I recall even calling up my psychologist there, many months later and asking if I could come back for a week or two. I was having a hard time emotionally and just wanted out and the place I remembered feeling the safest and most cared for was there. She asked if I was drinking and I told her honestly, no. She said "this isn't a hotel dear" She did make an outpatient appointment with me to come in for a few sessions with her, but wouldn't give me a bed!

welp- ya said you were scheduled for detox and that didnt happen for some reason.
yes- i have seen miracles in AA- by people that do more than go to ameeting every day.
yes- i am being harsh. sometimes its necessary to get through to people just like it was necessary to get through to me.

I just want to chime in and send you a big hug sweetchick:grouphug:. I'm not recommending a home detox, but I did it, and I'm now 4 months sober and working my plan. Sending you some much needed support!!

Sweeti, may I say that I see so much of myself in you. By that I mean that I deeply resented anyone who spoke to me plainly and honestly about my out of control drinking. And that caused me to drink and drink some more.

You may not like the approach some have, but we as alcoholics must remember that the anger is ours. Rehab or not, recognize that anger kills us, causing us to drink "at" people, which nearly killed me. The people who angered me about the things they said were absolutely correct.

I hope you can see that people here who reply to you are ALL on your side. If they weren't, they wouldn't spend their precious time trying to help you.

Good thoughts and prayers for your recovery.

did you find the time to get to a meeting yesterday? and are you going to at least one today?

Sweetchick.. a heart stress test.. I had to do that. what a mess. you are going to need the time to recover. kekekekke and then I never heard from the Doc but got the bill.. had to have passed the test for the Bill was over 45,000 dollars and I did not fall down dead from the shock. hahahaha good luck....

$45000 that's unbelievable! I got mine for free but. had to wait 8 months. Part of the free hospital system in Australia.. Geez I got off lightly.

It's not free for everyone only those on government benefits.

Department of Health | The Drug and Alcohol Program

This should be a good start to finding assistance with detox/rehab.
You *need it.
AA: " as desperate as the dying can be"
Everyone hopes you make it happen for yourself.
In the interim if you are interested in AA there is a ton of literature you can read at home any time. They say its uncomfortable to have a head full of AA and a belly full of beer. Perhaps learning more about the program will help soothe you when you feel like reaching for a drink.
You really can recover.
Jules

Hi Sweeti,

Just checking in to see how you're doing. Hope you've been getting to meetings.

I had another slip and are back on day 2. I am really exhausted from no sleep and are waiting on a delivery. I did 3 online AA meetings yesterday and talked all day on chat about sobriety. Really struggling ATM.

Can you use your insurance to get yourself into a detox?

Here is information for the Salvation Army in Australia, you should at least try contacting them.

https://salvos.org.au/need-help/addi...ehabilitation/

I have contacted them, they aren't putting anymore people on their waiting list. I don't have private health insurance. Thanks for the encouragement. It all seems so hopeless. I am really scared I will die from drinking.

I'm sorry to hear that you drank again, Sweeti.

What do you think you can do to stop drinking and recover?

I feel like I have tried everything. I turned my life over to God and that has helped. Maybe exercise, more Aa. I can't do f2f meetings atm till I get my strength back. Eat healthier. I can barely walk up the stairs to my bedroom ATM. Do more meditation. Stop giving in when I have uncomfortable emotions, Read novels. Don't get overwhelmed. That's all I can think of ATM.

Hi sweetichick - I appreciate it's hard for you to get to face to face meetings right now but can you see how whacked out it is that you've been still going out to get booze?

I'm sure the bottle shop is closer but thats not the point, yeah?

Recovery means effort - you gotta make sure you're putting in the right kind pf effort.

I really believe you can do this - but only if you commit to new ways of dealing with life and its problems :)

D

The alcohol doesn't just magically appear in your hand. You have to actively pursue it. You have to drive to the store, walk to the shelf, pick up the bottles, carry them to the checkout, pay for them, take them home, open them and pour a drink. These are all conscious actions and you can see how many steps it takes in order for you to drink.

Sweeti, have you asked your doctor about prescribing Antabuse? Of course, if he did, you would have to be willing to take it regularly. Is that an option?