What happens when you do develop a bone of temptation?

Is your abstinence based on the absence of desire, only ?

In a lot of your posts you speak of the 'nostalgia' of intoxication and how you beat it or win out.

I'm an avid AVRT'er precisely because my path has to include living comfortably with latent desire, temptation. From my perspective I don't think the desire for booze/intoxication ever vanishes ,completely, heck I think it is sometimes important to 'tease' the desire lest I think the apparent absence of it is the sole reason I choose not to ever drink again.

For me thinking that I will know I won't drink , even loosely based, on the absence of desire doesn't work.

Eliminating desire or fighting desire doesn't work for me, desire is integral to life and beyond my capacity to circumvent, realizing and accepting that has made me able to dismiss it.

None of this is intended to be a gotcha or 'method' message, just a view , from my path, and an observation of the things you relate.

Eloquent and insightful. No, my permanent sobriety is not, nor could it be, at least for me, based on a complete absence of desire. The nostalgia I speak of certainly is tinged with remnants of that desire. However when I examine those feelings, when I look at what that desire is really for, what the desire would cause me to do, I do find myself repelled by and just simply disinterested in the pain and suffering that would come along with the consumption of any alcohol. Even the thought of the drunk itself, at this point, that losing of control, that dropping the reins on the life I now feel in control of, is just plainly repellent to me.


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^ This. A house full of booze and the only thought I have when I look at it is how awful it would be to drink some and lose that complete control I've had for the past 4-5 months. The thought of being tipsy doesn't appeal to me let alone getting hammered.

These are all very good comments. I always drank beer and whiskey and my wife drinks wine or spritzers. I dont have any beer or whiskey in the house because I quit drinking. There is still My wife's alcohol. I really can't imagine any scenario where I would even be tempted to drink it. When I am tempted, which happens often, I want to go to the bar. I want to sit down and order a beer and an old fashioned. I dont go because I can't drink anymore, not because I don't want to.

Maybe I am just concerned right now in particular, but I hear a whole lot of "do it your way." I get that and I don't do things the same way as everyone else in AA - but I do follow a path I started learning from people who have what I wanted. A happy, joyous and free life lived sober and well.

I firmly believe two things I think fit to mention here-
Alcoholism is absolutely "cunning, baffling and powerful." We get free of any need to fear it, in AA speak, and can go and do whatever we like .... but our choices need to be guided by fundamental premises. I trust myself bc I know when NOT to trust myself.

Second, something I have heard and observed often in just my own sober time, is that a relapse starts well before the first drink.
I think that is something so crucial to remember - a relapse starts well before the first drink.

If you are committed to any progam of recovery, and it's a good one working for you then no, you probably won't drink just bc you bake boozy food or go to a liquor store. But my position is that making the next right choice that keeps me going on a solid path of recovery means I am moving ever further from the potential relapse rather than closer to the drink.

Take care of yourselves - it's def up to each of us to do what we need to do to stay on track.

Morally correct? Sorry man, I don't subscribe to that moral scheme. I remain confident in my decisions in this thread and feel comfortable with being a part of the ways in which my friends and family continue to drink.


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Lots of AA-speak here August. Always appreciate your thoughts, but as I think you know, I don't have a subscription to that program.

I keep a fully stocked bar at my house for guests and have no fear of temptation. I cleared it out the first few months of my sobriety,but it's been stocked/restocked for well over a year now. To each their own.

Lets not make this thread about AA and not AA.

People are sharing their experiences and beliefs Less.
You get that when you start a thread :)

I'm not in AA, but I keep a dry house. I don't buy drinks for my guests.
I figure if I can't be comfortable in my own house, I'm in trouble.

I spent a lot of time people pleasing as a drinker. I don;t do that anymore - but
I'm not a zealot either.

My dad is a normie he likes port.
I've bought him port before, but not in the first few years of my recovery.

Shopping in a liquor store is pretty much like shopping in a sports store for me now. Nothing in there to interest me.

It doesn't play on my mind at all, before or after.

D

Couldn't disagree more. It's a decision in line with how I see myself in a world where many people drink normally. My path is my own, uneffected by whether the booze is in my fridge or at a store on the corner - it's just simply not mine to drink.

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Some of the comments in here are coming across in a very 'if you don't do it our way, you are likely to fail down the line' which isn't very fair.

I don't keep a dry house, but I no longer drink. I also was not at an insanely dangerous alcoholic level when I decided to give up alcohol (like many here were). Having read many stories here, I could tell that I could end up that way though, so I quit before it got too far. I don't think I am making a mistake by keeping alcohol in the house. My husband is a drinker and so are my friends. Should I keep a completely dry house? I clearly have enough control to not drink here, so should I throw all the alcohol away and punish my sensible husband and friends just because there could be an off chance that I'd suddenly go crazy and drink some of it? The fact is, alcohol doesn't interest me any more, so I'm not worried about it being here.

I think there is no reason to keep a dry house if the alcohol isn't bothering you. For me it would but that is just where my head is at the moment.

Sorry you feel that way. Though I hope my path to sobriety is of aid in you on your own path. And I couldnt agree more with that saying, though I think Shakespeare pre-dates the AA program
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Just wanted to say that I am really impressed that you were able to host a party with alcohol. It brings to mind that maybe you are just a heavy drinker or your alcoholism hasn't progressed that far. I once let someone bring alcohol to my house and ended up downing a glass while they went to buy pizza. I think I was at about 6weeks dry. You are really determined and strong and I admire that.

Thanks SC. Hard to say who is what in terms of the spectrum of alcoholism. If you've followed my time here on SR you can see in the last couple of years I became a daily, heavy drinker, in the end allowing myself to get drunk at work and in very precarious situations. I was on an ugly, dangerous road.
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