Does your spouse or significant other still drink?
 

Yes--many of us here have spouses who still drink, myself included. Not always easy, but do-able.

Focus on yourself and your recovery, and you may end leading by example,
but don't try to control their drinking or it will backfire.

Good luck!

Yes, you can. It might be a bit more challenging, but you can do it. Can you escape to a different part of the home while your husband is drinking? I hope that he will follow your example at some point.

My wife continues to drink moderately around me. I don’t find that it “leads me into temptation”.

It's best to let him walk his own path even though in a perfect world, he would quit right along with you.

My husband did not stop drinking during my initial 18 months of trying to get sober. Some of it was really hard but I did manage some long stretches on my own. Now he's sober as well but that's something he decided for himself. I will admit that it became much easier to stop when he was also sober.

Having said that, I think a lot of people here have partners who still drink. Keep in mind that it's your addiction and your journey, not his. He is the only one who can choose to stop.

Good luck to you- get as much support as you can to do this.

My wife drinks moderately. A lot of wine goes down the drain in my house now because she can't finish a bottle before it goes bad.

My wife drinks on occasion but not around me.

My wife will get herself a small bottle of Irish Cream or something sweet. YUK. No problem staying away from that stuff.

I'm very lucky that my wife is extremely supportive and a "good girl". She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, never did drugs. Lives like a nun (no offense to nuns). During the summer she'll have a beer on a friday afternoon or a glass a wine at Thanksgiving and Xmas. That's it.

My wife drinks daily. Often times too much. I'm just over 30 days sober. It's difficult. I don't mind so much that she drinks, I do mind that she drinks so much.

My wife's not an alcoholic, but she stopped drinking about two months after I had stopped. In those two months she drank moderately around me, but then she told me she felt drinking was "pointless".

My wife still drinks and pretty heavily. I have been abstinent for a year. She does a very stressful job dealing in tragedy most of the time (lawyer) .. and uses wine to relax and forget even temporarily. The key thing is that wine does not change her behaviour or personality, she just gets a bit mashed and then goes to bed. She can also stop if she wants, for many weeks at a time. So, her drinking does not bother me.

I can see who it might be hard living with a drinker, but thats why places like SR exist.

We can get sober & stay that way - even when it seems like the rest of the world drinks :)

D

Can I still be successful at being a non drinker when my spouse drinks?

Yes , absolutely do-able.

You could also succeed in talking yourself into continuing to drink and blame it on someone else's drinking, but that is really just talking yourself into continuing to drink, yeah ?

Point being you can be successful in either vien, which do you choose ?

My husband and I spent 38 years drinking together. We were drinking buddies. At first it was fun. We were young and invincible. As time went on, that was not the case. We both slid into alcoholic drinking. I stopped after many failed attempts. He did not.
It has been 23 months since my last drink. I am done, done, done! He is not.
As time goes on I find myself being much less tolerable towards his drinking. I can't be around him when he drinks. I do not ever want to drink because of it. I am just sad that he seems unable to get to the point where he could realize what alcohol is doing to him. He still thinks he can moderate. (He can't. It is bad.) I finally realized that moderation was just more pain. I love being free of alcohol.

So, yes, my husband drinks and I do not. I think he is proud of me for stopping, but he misses his drinking buddy and it was easier for him to continue with his drinking with me beside him.
I will stay the course and hope he will jump on this journey.