100 days- the good, bad and ugly
 

Today is 100 days, not one drop of alcohol.

Thoughts -

It was hard, but I had to change... things were getting scary bad. I still am amazed how lucky I am that I didn’t hurt/kill myself or someone else.

Big changes had to happen- include telling my husband and family about my problem, seeing a therapist and taking medication

Withdrawal was bad on day 1 and 2. I could not function. Waste of space. Worthless mother and wife. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Couldn’t eat... never really ate while drinking. Especially at the end.

In the last 100 days, I created a bad habit of over eating and possibly a chocolate addiction. I’m working on it, and allowing myself to overeat at times. At least I am not drinking.

But because of that I have gained 15 pounds. I was very underweight, and it was probably necessary for me to gain some.. but not a fun thing for a female.

Life does get better, and it does get easier. I honestly would wake up in the middle of the night, take a few sips of wine and go back to sleep. Wake up, drink. Clean the bathroom, drink. Cook dinner, drink. Triggers were everywhere.. the thoughts of drinking still happens. But. Way. Less.

Life still sucks sometimes. I had to learn (and I am still learning) how to deal with my feelings. Including the uncomfortable ones. It is way easier to drown your feelings with alcohol, instead of dealing. Stress and anxiety still occurs daily.

I get asked if I want a drink a lot. In the last 100 days i cannot even guess how many times I’ve heard ‘wanna glass of wine, beer, drink?....’ It causes all kind of emotions. Jealousy, pride, annoyance, sadness, grief. But I can avoid it, it is going to happen for the rest of my life. Unfortunately that is the way society is. But I don’t have to be.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is better then waking up sober. No hang over. Rested (sometimes.) And drinking my morning coffee to enjoy it, not to survive.

In the last 100 days I went on two vacations. Both week long, with family and alcohol. They were fun, relaxing and enjoyable. It was hard and sometimes boring without alcohol.

I do laugh more, like a real haha laugh. I worry less about stupid stuff. And I certainly do not have to be concerned with when, where, how I’m going to get drunk.

I dream now, which is cool. I never had dreams when I passed out, or maybe just didn’t remember them.

I’m hopeful it only gets better and there is more good... and less bad and ugly.

Everyone has a day 1- I had a lot of them. But you got to start somewhere. Start yours today 😊

congrats on 100 days! that's a big milestone.

Way to go on 100 days!!!

Thank you for your inspiring words. It will motivate me. Just what I needed to hear at this very moment.

Congrats on your 100 days bunmblebee :)

D

100 days is great, and it really does get better as you progress. Keep going!

Congrats on your sober time and thank you for the encouraging post. :)

Good job on 100 days and thanks for the post.

100 days is awesome so awesome-Congrats!

100 days sober from a toxic substance that
causes more harm than good is absolutely a
good start. Add a continuous program of recovery
to your everyday life and you will be blessed
in more ways than you can imagine.

I just saved a beautiful Bumblebee who lost
its way and fell in our pool. Thankfully I continue
to be vigilant and check the pool daily from morning
till evening to save all Earths littlest creatures
that bring joy to my garden of paradise. :)

We too, who have addictions and seek recovery
are also Earths creations worth saving and living
a happy life free from the wrath of substance abuse.

I love your post and your honesty. Thank you for sharing and good luck on your continued journey of sobriety.

X X

Yes! Really glad to hear this.

The dreams are coming for me too. I'm really enjoying them actually - coincides with some Jung that I'm reading, would be happy to rec to you if you'd like.

Been following your sober journey. Impressed and really glad to see.

Great post! And awesome job on 100 days! Congratulations!

Congratulations on 100 days! That is awesome. I hope to be there again.

Congrats....I love dreaming again! Sometimes it is the smallest things that make a difference.

Hi bumble !


So nice to have a friend in the triple digit club!

So happy you made it to 100!

Inspiring. Thank you for the great share and congratulations!

Hi everyone! Laying down for bed sober, finishing day 102 here.

Thank you to everyone that took the time to read my post and respond. It means a lot...

I didn’t realize I had so much to say, until I say down and thought about it. It felt good.

Lessgravity - hi! Hope all is well with you :) Not sure what you mean by ‘Rec to you’?

Hi free!!! Good to see familiar faces :)

Have a good day everyone, you deserve it.

:c011::scoregood

Love your post and hearing how far you’ve come. Beautiful to read.

I understood Less’ post to mean he’s reading Carl Jung and could recommend some to you if you are interested. FWIW.

Have a fantastic and sober day!