Savage brutal all day hangover
 

Got back from work money drank 3/4 bottle sailor jerry rum, cider and lager 20 cigs 4 cigars. Woke up vomited then dragged myself to work.

This is the worst hangover o have had for a long time. I find life very utterly miserable.

What brought that on? Hope you feel better soon. I am not surprised about the mega hangover...do you normally smoke that much? Whew!

I would say anger self hatred and bitterness and unhappiness in the workplace is what brought it on.

And yes I normally smoke at least 20cigs when on a binge.

HC-- every couple of weeks you post the same story, more or less, how you're hungover, miserable, and tired of it all, but every two weeks you repeat the cycle.

It seems like you're good and able to stop, but staying stopped is the problem.

Have you tried a formal recovery program?

There's SMART Recovery (http://www.smartrecovery.org); there's AA; or in the alternative, if you don't like meetings, there's AVRT (see the Secular Connections forum for some good threads).

I"m not a fan of platitudes, but nothing changes if nothing changes, as they say.

that is sort of expected when one drinks. you sound surprised. life would not be nearly as miserable if you would stop MAKING yourself so miserable by repeatedly pouring poison down your throat. that's what SR is here for.............are you interested in quitting for good?

Yes

Last time you posted a thread, I asked you what real action you were going to take to quit and your response was 'Praying to God.' and that you'd smashed your beer glass.

I think you're going to have to go for some more real, active ways to beat your alcoholism if you're serious about quitting. However, you act like you're enjoying drinking more than you're enjoying the idea of quitting.

I don't enjoy drinking but am addicted to it. I don't think many alcoholics would say they enjoy giving up. Alcohol is often the only relationship an alcoholic has had it is terribly difficult to give up!

Ahh, a fellow " golden slipper" like myself, it sounds like. Thats they call chronic relapsers in the part of Georgia I'm from.
I was a chronic relapsing Alcoholic for 25 years, so you get no judgment here.
What a misery to drink knowing the truth.

In those 25 years I did one thing right, aside from not dying, was to keep going back..time after time, after time..12 days. 18, 6, 31, 43, 7..every number, except a number over 89.
It took me close to my death.
But when I found out about my dying Liver, I gave up on living. I just wanted to die sober. My obsession was taken away..after 25yrs of hell.
I am sober now almost 11months, and on the other side of a transplant.
You keep coming back man!! If you don't die, it will it will eventually drive you to your bottom. Then you can give up, get free, and LIVE!!!!

How do the plan to treat your addiction? Praying to God and smashing your glass doesn't seem to have worked. daredevil has pasted some useful information above.

Thanks for your messages

Maybe heed your own advice :) best of luck on your recovery

That sounds absolutely miserable. But you know that. And you knew that when you did the damage that you did to yourself last night. I'm sorry to hear that you're still deep in the weeds and giving into your addiction. There's so many ways for you to get out, are you willing to do the work? I know my hangovers that it felt like life itself wasn't worth living. I remember walking along subway tracks in my city and saying to myself out loud that I wanted to die. It's the alcohol. But you know that. What can you do about it?

Thank you for your message lessgravity. The hangover you described is how I have felt a lot.

All I can do today is stay off alcohol. My brain has not recovered sufficiently to have the ability to think properly yet.

AA meeting a feel is necessary. A lot of people are anti AA that concerns me.

Don't forget who you are talking to. We have all been exactly where you are. We know how difficult it is to give up alcohol, but we did it anyway. You can do it, too, but you have to be willing to put in the hard work.

My God Highercall! I got a headache and a rolling of my stomach just reading your list of drinks/cigars/smokes. Yikes! No wonder you feel wretched with all the sugars and toxins. I hope you are drinking plenty of water, get re-hydrated. As for what to do, it sounds like you have thought a plan out, now what you need is to put it into action. You can do this. One hour at a time, one day at a time. Hope you start your journey today. And wishing you to feel better with time under your belt. Best wishes dear Highercall!

AA meeting a feel is necessary. A lot of people are anti AA that concerns me.

other people aren't you. give AA a try. just GO. you'll be with other people just like you who want a solution.

Some people are pro AA. Others aren't.

There are many ways to get sober. I did most of them and together they worked.

The correct recovery group/plan/whatever is whatever keeps you sober.

What you don't want to do is to think you have to find the perfect method, and when you hit a roadblock on your chosen path to happy destiny, you don't just cave and think "This didn't work. Nothing will work to keep me sober. Open mouth, insert booze."

AA didn't appeal to me, but I also think that dismissal without investigation is not helpful. So I tried it. It worked for a while in early sobriety, but I had trouble with the whole higher-power/working the steps thing, so I moved on to psychotherapy. Rational Recovery/AVRT is more my style anyway.

But it's whatever works best FOR YOU.

When the consequences (hangover/withdrawals) outweighed the perceived benefits, I started getting serious about quitting. I did not succeed on the first or second time, but I succeeded.

I remember being so hungover that I puked so hard that I burst blood vessels in my eyes.... while I was at work. It was utterly humiliating. So glad those days are behind me.

You can get better. You don't have to keep living this way.

What's your plan? I used AVRT which I learned about here on SR. But there are many ways out, keep looking until you find yours.

Hope you're feeling better today.