Get into AA it works (other programs are available)

I hope you are feeling better. One of the best things about sobriety is not having those anymore. It is nice to feel good. I hope you get back on track. Keep posting and reading here. :)

Your story made me recall one hangover where I was bent double, in public, in the middle of the day, being sick in a gutter. I was an academic at that time and my throwing up was in a street behind my university department and the library. Passers by looked rightly appalled! I was so ill, I went to collapse on a corner desk in that library with a bin next to me because I didn’t feel my office was sufficiently private (the warped logic must have been a product of a mind at near breaking point, I guess). I was supposed to be editing a chapter of a book that day. It makes me sweat with shame and pity for myself when I think back on it: I was really unwell that day, and for many days after that for the next 10+ years.

I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I have been where you are countless times before. Being a problem drinker is sad and it’s degrading and it’s ultimately exhausting. There’s no-one that knows that better than I do myself. Please think seriously how about what steps — real, concrete, actionable steps — you can take to start your own recovery now. Don’t let yourself get any worse: it’s such a pitiful position to be in and life can be so much better.

My very best wishes to you.