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-   -   Dealing with triggers (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/430203-dealing-triggers.html)

Fearlessat50 07-18-2018 07:45 PM

Dealing with triggers
 
I have been sober over a year. I was so convinced for a long time I would never be tempted to drink again. The thought of any form of alcohol disgusted me. I am experiencing a lot of stress in my life lately, both with work and personal and suddenly I am feeling an urge to drink. I had stress last year but somehow I wasn’t affected this way. There is a lot going through my mind about all of this. When I think about the stress I’ve experienced and compare to what others go through, I know this is not all that bad. I know that everything passes and I know that I’m super hard on myself and tend to over -think things.
I’m just wondering if anyone here sober for a long time has experienced triggers after a long time not experiencing them, and what you do about it? Is there some type of automatic mental process or checklist you have set up for yourself to get through it , talk yourself out of it, and wait for the urge to pass without succumbing to it?

Dee74 07-18-2018 09:04 PM

Hi Fearlessat50 :)

a few years back I have long lasting constant nerve pain and sometimes in the middle of the night the urge to drink visited me briefly.

I knew that drinking wouldn't be a solution tho (and I never considered it during the day cos I could post here or do other things) so I kept searching for something that would work, and in conjunction with my doctor we found a non addictive med.

Obviously your situation is different but the principles the same - use support, identify the problem and fix it without drinking.

I think if you know your problem is stress there's probably a lot you can do for that before you get down to destructive and inefficient methods like drinking :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html

Gottalife 07-19-2018 02:42 AM

I have experienced a lot of things that might be called triggers, really good ones, if you believe in that sort of thing. In reality they are just part of life, events that will happen to all of us. They have no bearing on whether I will stay sober or not. They are external random events, where as alcoholism is an internal condition.

Bereavement, loss of job, loss of friend, being told off at work, feeling stupid in a social setting, being angry about something, being embarrased or afraid, and on and on. None of that has made me even think about drinking. Though much of it has been used as an excuse in the past.

I suppose you might say that trigger is a euphemism for life, and my reaction to life was to drink. My solution was alcohol. So when something external occurred or didn’t occur, drinking was the obvious thing to do.

I no longer have an alcoholic mind. I have another solution to life. I have found the power to live successfully in the world, so when something occurs that might be a good excuse for a drink, I don’t consider drinking. I look first at other options.

There is a classic story in the big book about a guy who relapsed. He is describing the circumstances just prior. “It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon” so what did he do? He got drunk. Why, because he was alcoholic, had not taken the action required to recover, and so he had no defense against the first drink.

Fearlessat50 07-19-2018 06:28 AM

Thank you Gottalife and Dee. These comments made me think more deeply about this. I agree that I need to think more about how I deal with stress in general and find consistent healthy alternatives. I’m working on this through therapy and meditation, reading and coming here. I love the “trigger”analogy to life. A trigger is just another name for life. I’m like the alcoholic in that story because even though my drinking problem started as a result of self medicating through a very stressful time, in the end I’d come home from an absolute perfect day and still drink because it was a perfect day. I guess only alcoholics understand this. I completely relate to this idea. I am hanging on to my sobriety with everything I’ve got. Thank you again.

doggonecarl 07-19-2018 07:12 AM

I had been sober about three years when my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We went to Boston to be with her when they did performed surgery to remove it. I was worried for my sister, scared of the outcome, anticipating the worst, and conscious of my own mortality.

I wanted to drink.

Then it dawned on me, my sister who was worried, terrified, facing surgery and outcome of her diagnosis, WHO ACTUALLY HAD THE TUMOR, wasn't drinking over it. But that's how I wanted to cope? How I was going to deal with emotions I wanted to run and hide from? Run to a bottle?

No. I figured if my sister could suffer a tumor sober, I could face it sober too.

And I did.


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