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Matt, you can decide to change this situation now. The weekend is approaching and this can be a true fun/good Dad weekend with your family. I remember the lying and deception and the games played and it was exhausting. I hope you keep reading and posting and that you are inspired to live a sober life. |
Lots of great advice here - welcome to SR mat :) D |
Matt, are you still here, gearing up for a sober weekend? This can be the first weekend of so many great ones to come for you and your family. I am thinking of you a lot, Matt. Your family needs you and this SR community needs you. Hope you staying strong. |
HI Matt, I can relate to your post. I have a 16 yr old son but when he was a toddler my drinking was at some of it's worst. So many mornings brutally hungover and up early to transport my bright-eyed son to a soft play area or similar. I grimace at the memories, at least the memories of how I felt physically and mentally. When I look back at those days I see my alcoholic drinking tendencies in full flow. My being unable to stop once started in particular. I also failed to recognise that the youthful drinking, partying, not having any responsibilities part of my life was well and truly over. I have now made the decision to stop and try and be the person that I was meant to be for my wife and son. All the best in your journey :) |
Thinking of you Matt. Sober weekend is here! You can do this. :grouphug: |
We all have one thing in common here - the problem. What is different is the solution. Your accounting is a ledger we all know. Some of the details are different, but we are not unique. You don't have to drink. |
Woke up this morning and thought of this post. Wanted to get on here and bump it, but I see many of my friends are already checking in. That’s the way it works on here Matt. Sincerely rooting for you and hoping this is weekend #1 of fun, sober Dad. |
Hi Matt. I 'm a lurker here, but your post really hit home with me, I've been checking in occasionally to see if you would respond to this thread with an update. I hope you are doing well. |
Same here. |
We have the same name, and the same past but we can live a sober life. Your post brought memories and feelings back I had almost forgotten. Shame and the guilt for the way I treated my family. I need to feel that every now and again as a reminder of what is waiting for me if I ever drink again. Trust me you can do this. It’s a lot of work and commitment but your life will be so much better. We are here for you my friend. How are you doing? |
Originally Posted by Matt9880
(Post 6898385)
6 am Monday...eyes open sweating and shivering in the fetal position...close my eyes hoping the next 60 minutes take an eternity. 6:50 am Monday... I realize my daughter will come see me on the couch at 7:10am...must throw 4 to 6 empty beer cans crushed and spilled around my bloated corpse in the garbage on top of the other 12 filling the garbage. I must also create artificial garbage to throw on top in case my wife opens the garbage and over flowing empty cans spill out on to the floor creating that sickening clank I know all to welI. I wait until my wife starts blow drying her to pull the massive bag of empty beer cans out of the garbage can... a symphony of misery and failure all clanking together. 7 am Monday and the sound "daddy" from my 5 year little girl is pure alcoholic hell. 3 days and 50 beers later I sweat and tremor making her grilled cheese and packing her lunch in a haze of confusion exhaustion and paranoia. 8 am Monday...I drive to work sweating and confused everyone seems to be going so fast...why is the sun so damn bright?!...my stomach is the only thing alive and I am going to puke NOW! 815 am Boss: have a good weekend?! Me: great time with the family! Boss: ready to get to work?! 816am-430pm Me...(dont puke and can I die today?) I binge 18 beers on friday, 18 on Saturday and 18 on sunday and a few weeknights here and there (give the illusion you are in control) my 5 year old little girl and wife love fun weekend dad! Later I also became the ‘blackout drunk while “caring” for my kids on a weekday morning’ Dad. And the ‘driving drunk with my kids in the car’ Dad. Listen my friend: it needn’t be this way. You’ve shared because you know in your heart this needn’t be the Dad you give yourself..... Today, choose sobriety. Every waking moment of this day. When you feel shame and remorse - instead choose to feel inspiration. When you feel ill and awful - instead choose to feel motive for the YOU you know you are inside. When you feel a failure and a flop - instead feel gratitude that you have come to recognize a better way. Say aloud ‘please HELP ME embrace sobriety today’. At day’s end, always aloud ‘thank you for helping me embrace sobriety today’. In the morning when you awake..... once again say aloud ‘please HELP ME embrace sobriety today’. Then find a quiet spot and come post here again. We will take it from there. You can live joyously.. beginning now. |
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