Blackout hell
 

I have to stop......blackouts are getting ridiculous. I am losing so much of my life.
Living in a constant panic about the lost time.
I cant go on like this

My blackouts were miserable too. Total madness that I got myself into that situation again and again and again. I’m seven away from my last one and so thankful.

What do you think you need to do to stop and stay stopped cuckoo?

I've often said the worst thing I ever did was get used to blackouts.

What do you think is holding you back from pursuing full time recovery Cuckoo?

D

I am amazed at how long I accepted blackouts.

How much life I lost.

How much I don’t know about what I did.

I’m so glad to be free of that.

Recovery has been the best gift ever.

Being present always and never having to wake up from another blackout to that horrible feeling of shame and confusion.

You can be free too.

I have to accept.
I know I must accept that alcohol and me arent good friends.
This week has been horrible.
I am getting too old and too vulnerable for it to continue.
I am constantly worrying about my health, my looks, my figure, my bank balance....not to mention my loved ones.
Time for me to accept and start moving forward with my life now.
The bad has completely taken over every thing.

I empathize. My blackouts were daily. Awful awful awful.

Certainly the worse part of the whole cycle for me.

Horrible things happen during blackouts, it the point of no return...

Let this be a wake up call. Blackouts and hangovers ( what I now know were withdrawals) were the final straw for me.

How’s your plan?

There isn't much worse than choosing to put our selves into states where what we do and think is so out of our control that the next day, maybe even the same day, we cannot remember what happened. Chance and disease and bad luck - all out of our control and inevitable tragedies of life for us all.

Blackouts? Just a horror. A disgusting horror.

Stop drinking. It's the only answer.

The first thing I plan on doing is accepting that I do not have to drink today just because I did yesterday and all the days before.
I have a choice dont I ?
It isnt in control...I am.

Yup. :c011:

And a lot of work to do.
Get after it!

:ring

Yes. Yes you do.
And also a long tough and tempting road ahead of you.
But it can be done. The sooner you begin the process the better.
Get cracking!!! Good luck :)

It's sad to think that I've drank myself in to a blackout state thousands of times over the past 15 years. It doesn't make sense to waste anymore time or take anymore risks.
All the best to you!

Yes you do have a choice. And the blackouts are 100% preventable based on your choices - glad you are deciding to not drink today.

Thank you everyone.
It really is a no brainer. Why put myself through it anymore.
The blackouts seem to be coming on more quickly as well.
The other night I was at a restaurant with two "normie" friends.
We had a couple of drinks and I was absolutely determined not to embarrass myself.
Sitting chatting about one if their new romances.....next thing I woke up in my own bed the next morning !!!
What the hell ? No idea how the night panned out or how I got home.
I think I must have been having a functioning blackout as I have had no negative feedback fom home or the 2 friends. Even had a txt nexd day saying what a nice evening it was and we must do it again.
My bag was intact. Coat hung up etc etc.
Its absolute torturous madness....

This pronouncement to quit is not your first.

So what is happening between your decision to quit, and your decision to drink?