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taking stock of the effects of alcohol So, as I've mentioned this is my new day 1 and now I've made the decision to quit alcohol the severity of my physical and mental condition is becoming clear to me. Before, when I knew I would just drink these concerns off soon enough, they were easy to ignore. First off the physical, obviously there's the damage the smoke and drink has done to my organs, luckily nothing fatal but the effects will be there a very long time. Its damaged my skin to the point where I look ten years older than I am, easily. There's also my weight which has rocketed in the last couple of years due to those pesky alcohol calories. In general I look unhealthy, unwell and miserable. But worse is the phychological effects, I am mentally a mess. My worldview is utterly bleak and defeated, I find it hard to see my surroundings and society and people in general quite bleakly. Perhaps the way I've been treated by some has cast a dark cloud on how I see others. I don't want to see people this way, so pessimistically, It's an instinct now out of self preservation if anything. I'm depressed and horribly anxious, which is the worst of it all and my ability to think clearly now is shot to bits. It feels like my brain is full of cobwebs. I'd like to point out as well that this is after I've slowly come off alcohol, this is not a hangover blues situation, this is just how badly alcohol how affected my mind, body and soul. I don't know if I believe in things being evil, but if such things exist, this is it. |
I had to do a lot of spiritual battle in early days. I felt just like you do, that the world was a horrible place and it was completely against me and that I could do no right. I just kept searching for answers, the good answers. It all looks so much brighter with some sober time, truly. If you can, spend a lot of time reading threads in various sections on this site. That was helpful to me in early days before I could really put two thoughts together. It does get better, but not at first. There is going to be a lot of discomfort and confusion and irritability but it does slowly loosen its grip. One day at a time. I did online jigsaw puzzles and that was good for calming me. I listened to Pandora's station called, "Classical for the Soul." I slept as much as I could and I ate pretty much anything I wanted. Hang on, and don't forget to breathe. |
Keep a journal and write that down. I was never religious or spiritual before, but once alcohol got ahold of me, I realized those demons in movies weren't fake, in actually with addiction, they were far more sinister in real life. |
You are actually seeing things quite clearly. There's a good chance that your alcoholic brain will, in the coming days and months, try to convince you otherwise. The good news is that all of these effects can be reversed. Doesn't mean that they will disappear, but they can be reversed. Six years ago I too, was a mess in all the ways you describe. Today, at age 70, I am mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. My depression has lifted in favor of joy upon awakening every morning. May you be successful in your quest... Joy, warren |
Originally Posted by biminiblue
(Post 6814461)
I had to do a lot of spiritual battle in early days. I felt just like you do, that the world was a horrible place and it was completely against me and that I could do no right. I just kept searching for answers, the good answers. It all looks so much brighter with some sober time, truly. If you can, spend a lot of time reading threads in various sections on this site. That was helpful to me in early days before I could really put two thoughts together. It does get better, but not at first. There is going to be a lot of discomfort and confusion and irritability but it does slowly loosen its grip. One day at a time. I did online jigsaw puzzles and that was good for calming me. I listened to Pandora's station called, "Classical for the Soul." I slept as much as I could and I ate pretty much anything I wanted. Hang on, and don't forget to breathe. |
Originally Posted by Forward12
(Post 6814518)
Keep a journal and write that down. I was never religious or spiritual before, but once alcohol got ahold of me, I realized those demons in movies weren't fake, in actually with addiction, they were far more sinister in real life. |
Originally Posted by warrens
(Post 6814523)
You are actually seeing things quite clearly. There's a good chance that your alcoholic brain will, in the coming days and months, try to convince you otherwise. The good news is that all of these effects can be reversed. Doesn't mean that they will disappear, but they can be reversed. Six years ago I too, was a mess in all the ways you describe. Today, at age 70, I am mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. My depression has lifted in favor of joy upon awakening every morning. May you be successful in your quest... Joy, warren |
Originally Posted by Sarahsays
(Post 6814568)
It certainly feels like alcohol is a demon that's taken over me, that's for sure. |
I don't believe in evil, just a disconnect with the perfect wholeness that we are. Life experiences can make us feel pinched off from our wholeness and we use alcohol or drugs to mask the pain of feeling isolated, broken, and not worthy. But we are all worthy, no exceptions. Try to let in a little light every day. Gratitude for any little thing can crack the door open just enough to let a little light in. You have a lot of consciousness and clarity about where you are, that is a big step forward and something to celebrate. |
Yes, all that you feel illustrates just how harmful alcohol can be to some people (like us). Apart from all of that, we are (as Parajito says) radiant beings, able to live life on life's terms if we simply allow it to flow. Joy, Warren |
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