I need help, please
 

Hi I have posted before, but somehow went back into my endless cycle of messing everything up for myself. I go out about once a week, but I black out almost every time. I don’t know why I do this to myself. At the moment I am sat in my room trying to avoid everybody because I don’t want to hear about the stupid things I’ve said and done. My head is sore, so I must have fallen over and hit it, my body is slowly giving up on me, and I’m ashamed, embarrassed and I feel like I’ve let myself and those who love me down. A lot.

I turn into a different person when i drink, someone I don’t even recognize and somebody I absolutely despise. I feel ill thinking of what I am capable of becoming and it’s ruining my life. I NEED to quit. I need to stop and accept I have a problem. It’s ruined relationships, with someone telling me that I basically need to sort myself out before anyone can be with me. This guy was someone I was in love with and it stabbed me in the heart.

Please help me. I am at university and I don’t know how I can still have fun without the drinking side, I don’t have hobbies in particular and all my friends enjoy that lifestyle... but they can handle their drinks. Once I start I don’t stop.

Please please can someone give me advice or just a shoulder to cry on. I’ve reached an all time low and I’m worried I’m going to lose everything and everyone.

Thanks and I apologize for the long message. I needed to get it out!

Hi Emma,

Glad you posted...sounds like you're having a tough time right now 💜 When you say you're worried about still having fun without drinking...it strucks me that you're having a far from fun time when you drink? Have you looked into whether your uni has any groups or can offer support with sobriety? I am certain that you will not be the only person at your uni who is feeling this way x

Sound like me
 

I could have written your story word for word it sounds so much like me. I've been going to AA a lot over the last couple weeks and it helps to hear the stories and to know we're not alone in this.

I have a difficult time dealing with the sense of loneliness and feeling alone. I try to keep busy listening to music and playing guitar. It helps me a lot to release emotions that way. Depending on where you are, I'd find an AA meeting and keep going until you're looking forward to going. That seems to be working for me so far.

I wish you well.

Sounds just like me before...getting drunk and blacking out, saying dumb things.
Start going to AA and talking to people, get support, get a sponsor. Do what you need to do to help your problem.
Keep in mind, A LOT of people have got black out drunk and said dumb things. No one wants to hear what they said the night before....just look past it.

Hi Emma :)

Welcome back.

I know how hard it is to be at Uni and not drink when it seems like all your friends do.

I had to accept that, whatever they did, I was different.

My drinking was self destructive it was destroying me and I had to quit

Most campuses will have some kind of recovery presence - maybe AA or something like that. Maybe even your campus health centre will have some ideas on what help is available locally?

There's a ton of support here too. Why not commit to posting here regularly.?
Why not check out our Class of February support thread?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-1-a-2.html

Its hard to change - but it really is possible :)

D

I have a pretty good shoulder available. It's good that you came here to post... lots of supportive people here. I also think it would be good for you to seek out a sober community with in-person folks. You might need to leave those drinking friends and join some others.

Good for you on recognizing and confronting your demon now! I wish I'd done that...

O

What I have found (and hard to accept) is that there ARE people out there that have fun WITHOUT drinking. Try to make some new friends that don’t drink.

Antabuse was the game changer for me. Takes the decision to drink out of your hands. Look into it.

I have seen "sober student" groups spring up at colleges here in the 'States that have a history of too much partying. Perhaps yours has one?

There are people your age who actually do have fun without drinking. And here where I live there are two "Young People's" AA meetings a week, in addition to other YP events (NA, and simple ol' hangout and group events. Could you look into those?

Keep on keeping on...you're not alone.
Use whatever tools you can, and it will get better.
Really.
Dirk:)